👋🏽23 💁🏻♂️half Korean 🇰🇷 🇺🇸
🚹1st out transman on D1 NCAA men’s team
🏊🏽swimmer for Harvard '19
@pinkmantaray on Instagram have full name is Schuyler Bailar. Here you can discover all stories, photos, videos posted by pinkmantaray on Instagram.
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Swipe to watch me strip 🤓
As promised - another @HillCityOfficial unboxing! HC sent me a second box of clothes to try out & show you! Use my code “SCHUYLER” for 20% OFF until 8/27!
Love that HC has so many different fits, especially for shorts & pants, which I think can be often tough for as a shorter dude with a big butt and thicker thighs😁. I know a lot of other guys (trans or not) that struggle with clothes, check out Hill City’s stuff!
Also, their clothes are sustainably made - which is really important to me. Even the tags are recycled consumer waste!
Swipe for clothes details, and the unboxing featuring my mother and father. I’m wearing mediums for most things. Pants are 31/30. Happy to answer more questions, just drop a comment!
THANK YOU @HILLCITYOFFICAL!
#AD #wearehillcity #trans #hillcity #transisbeautiful #bodypositive #sustainability
I feel overwhelmed and exhausted by the media & current events, mainly Reese’s death, along with all that it brings up regarding the safety and acceptance of (black) trans women in this country. Not only do they remind us that this society is consistently murdering, rejecting, and discriminating against black trans women, but they also make me feel like our identities as trans people are up for debate - that we must then prove that our lives and our love ~actually~ matter. Holding all of this, on top of the grieving and the pain we feel at the loss of our siblings, sometimes feels impossible.
So today I need to remind myself:
It is okay to be angry. It is okay to feel absolutely exhausted by this all. It is okay to cry. It is okay to need a break to take care of myself. As a trans person, as a trans athlete, as a trans person of color, I quite often feel I have to prove myself. Prove not only my manhood, but even the right to prove my manhood. Prove that trans is valid. Prove that I am here; that we are here. And we should not have to prove any of this. Our breath should be proof enough.
But at times when it is not, I instead offer this permission to myself & to you to feel, to breathe, to cry, to be angry, to be devastated. And I hope that we can use these emotions to drive our fight forwards. WE WON’T BE ERASED.
#wontbeerased #wewontbeerased #transisbeautiful #transpoc #blacklivesmatter #stopkillingblacktranswomen #transgender #trans
My stomach has been turning since I read about Reese and Faith last night. Reese, thank you for standing up for yourself and Faith despite all of the bullying. I am so sorry we have lost you because of this hatred & ignorance. But I am also so thankful for your light and your wholesome love of Faith. I wish that wasn’t so rare. Faith, I’m thinking of you & after reading your posts and story today I hope you know that we are here with you. We will tell his story.
To echo @munroebergdorf: It should NOT be up to the most marginalized group of people - black trans women - to constantly have to “not only lift [them]selves up but also to educate others as to why [their] lives matter.” This is all of society’s problem. If we are not ACTIVELY PROTECTING and standing up for our trans feminine sisters, we are complicit in the hatred. Hate is more insidious than you might notice. Hate is taught and affirmed through our silence and inaction. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS AN INNOCENT BYSTANDER.
It is EVERYONE’S responsibility to fix this.
Parents, teach your boys kindness and compassion. Value emotions so they will learn to value both their own as well as those of others. Allow their femininity. Allow their femininity. Allow their femininity.
Teachers: DO NOT TOLERATE ANY BULLYING OF ANY KIND.
Other trans folks, especially trans masc: Recognize your privilege as men. Recognize that even though we are trans, we probably don’t understand a lot about what it’s like to be a trans woman. Use your platforms to talk about trans women and the violence and discrimination they face.
Cis LGBQ folks, especially white cis gay men: Step up. We need you, now. This is about all of us. Fragmenting our community hurts everyone, not just us trans people.
Everyone: Stand up for trans folks. Correct people when they misgender us, even if we are not around. Do not be afraid to be outed as an ally. People’s lives are at stake.
T-shirt from @genuinevalentine.
#BLACKLIVESMATTER #transrightsarehumanrights #transgender #stopkillingblacktranswomen #transwomen #qtpoc
Recently someone asked me, “Can trans people date? I’m so afraid being trans makes me unlovable.” And my heart broke - so many trans people believe themselves to be unlovable or undesirable due to their transness/parts... But the trans people I know are some of the strongest, most resilient, most incredible, most beautiful people.
But I get it — I, too, have found myself believing these things sometimes, getting sucked into a society that attempts to erase us. This type of transphobia is so insidious we don’t always notice it. A partner I dated once told me that my parts “weren’t bad...” but they weren’t “the ~manliest~ part of me.” Another said that in her dreams, I had a penis. I don’t think either person ever meant to hurt me, and at the time I didn’t register just how toxic their words were. But they have stuck with & harmed me for years.
So a few thoughts:
1) Love is not based on genitalia. Love is not about your parts. You don’t walk up to someone and pull down their pants and examine their genitalia before you fall for them.
2) If someone makes you feel wrong or small or lesser or unlovable because of your parts, THEY are wrong. Not you. Your parts are NOT unlovable. Your parts do not make you any less of who you are.
3) I believe we as trans people MUST fight against the internalized transphobia we experience. Do not let people treat you as lesser. Do not stay in a relationship simply bc a person says they love you but whose actions are actually wildly transphobic and make you feel like shit. There is more. Someone else will love you WHOLLY. I’ve heard too many things like “It’s ok, they’re allowed to reject me because I don’t have [specific body part.]” And sure, of course they are. Anyone can reject you for any reason and you should respect their boundaries - that’s called consent. But if someone rejects you solely bc of your genitals, while being “allowed,” the action is still hugely transphobic and toxic.
Young trans people especially, please do not let anyone convince you that you are any less desirable or dateable because of your parts. If someone makes you feel that way, they are not worth it. You deserve more.
Top surgery was not about proving my manhood. You don’t need top surgery to be a man; be a man your way. Top surgery was also not about “cutting off perfectly good boobs” as many people said. (What are ‘good’ boobs anyway and who gets to decide that @ the patriarchy and cis men.) Top surgery wasn’t at all about other people or pleasing society.
Top surgery was for my mind, for my heart, and for my relationship with my body. It was a megaphone message to my heart: I will protect you. I will commit to actions that will bring you peace, even if it means disrupting binaries and going against what society wants from me.
A few FAQs about top surgery:
1) It did not hurt much at all for me. It was mostly itchy.
2) Recovery time? Listen to your doctor! Wait even longer if you’re worried about stretching the scars.
3) I cannot feel my nipples. They have little to no sensation.
4) I went with Garramone because at the time, he was really the only guy doing large chests that I saw producing results I liked.
5) Left is 2 weeks post op, right is today. More questions? Go to link in bio or pinkmantaray.com/top-surgery.
#transgender #topsurgery #drgarramone #doubleincision #selflove #selfcare #loveyourlines #transformationtuesday
Pinkmantaray Chats are back by popular demand! Check out the link in my bio to sign up for a first-time 30-minute video call with me for private Q&A, mentorship, and advice. I only ask that you pay a $5 reservation fee. I've got 36 slots available and will be adding more as time goes on!
If you are looking for recurring or longer sessions, I am also offering 30- and 60-minute regular appointments for more in-depth sessions. Visit the link in my bio or calendly.com/pinkmantaray for more info and to reserve. Finance should ~not~ be a barrier; email me (firstname.lastname@example.org) if the $5 fee is an issue, and we will figure it out!
Check out my story for my mom’s little demo on how to sign up😁
Also please note that while I do have a bachelor’s degree in psychology, I am not a licensed mental health professional.
#pinkmantaraychats #selfcare #counseling #questionsandanswers #mentoring
5 or 6 years ago I had little to no vision of my future - I often wasn’t sure if I would make it past 18; I was so miserable and lost and sad. But yesterday @glieberw and I signed a lease on an apartment here in Seattle, I have a job I’ll be starting in October, I have amazing friends & a beautiful community I’ve built for myself with the help of the kindest of people... And I’m excited for my future. What a new & thrilling feeling to be excited for the future.
So, an offering of encouragement to any of you who are similarly struggling: You ~will~ move through this place. In a month or a year or 10 years, you will not be where you are. You will grow. And maybe years from now, you’ll find yourself sobbing on a random street corner in Seattle because you’re so glad you stuck around. So proud of the work you did. So ecstatic for the future you finally see yourself living in.
GIVING AWAY 3 @GC2B BINDERS!!! Since May, we’ve given away 12 binders for FREE and this will be the fifth giveaway! Usually I restrict the giveaway to teens, but this month will be unrestricted! Please share with & tag those in need!
Swipe for a few testimonials from previous winners!
My @gc2b binder was comfortable, easy to wash and wear, and safe. It also helped quite a bit with reducing the visibility of my breast bump (I was larger than 36DD!) Gc2b is the ~only~ binder company I recommend! Even more: it is made by trans people for trans people.
Here are the giveaway details:
• WHAT: Three binders from @gc2b.
• WHEN: Now until Saturday at 6pm EST.
• WHERE: Link in my bio!
• HOW: Please visit the link in my bio & fill out the form to enter for a chance to win a binder. The form will close this Saturday 6pm EST and I will email the winners next week to protect the privacy of the individuals.
**This is a non-paid partnership; the perks are only for the winners!
#transgender #trans #bindergiveaway #giveaway #binder #ftmbinder #gc2b #chestbinding #AD
Spent today apartment hunting here in Seattle — we viewed 10 or so apartments and found some pretty good ones!
This is the first time I’ve ever been apartment hunting (at Harvard we always were in dorms) so I’m pretty excited by it all.
A little background: I’m moving to Seattle on October 19. I have a job here teaching emotional intelligence skills to the employees at a finance company! And this is Galen! He’s going to be my roommate!
More recently the facial hair population seems to be increasing, so I thought I’d show a little comparison over the years, as well as current shaved/not shaved. A little confession... facial hair is far more irritating than I ever expected 😂 it to be — the length feels strange, almost ticklish, and I find myself constantly playing with the hairs lol.
As always, I want to emphasize that facial hair does not make you a man. Neither does testosterone. You do not even have to take testosterone if you don’t want to or cannot. Your identity as a man alone is what makes you a man.
Testosterone can also take YEARS. Facial hair can (and probably will) take YEARS, and depends on genetics. I started T over 4 years ago and only this year has anything really changed with my facial hair. And it might keep changing/filling in, but it also might not! I’ve mentioned this before but: If you’re 5mo on T, you’re physiologically identical to a 13yr old or so boy! Details about how I got to that numerical comparison in the comments!
This is for all of the kids terrified of returning to school because of all the bullying. I remember that feeling, that pain, that isolation, because I spent grade school being bullied, too.
So as the first day of school approaches (or has already passed), I wanted to give you a little extra love. And remind you that YOU BELONG in that classroom just as much as any other kid does. Your identity does not make you any less of a person, any less worthy. You do belong.
And to all the teachers: You are doing the most important job in the entire world. You are raising and educating this world’s children. Thank you. Please remember that this job comes with the responsibility of keeping children safe. The trans, the queer, the marginalized, the different-in-any-way. Teachers, it is your responsibility to protect us. Not only through just not saying the bad things; you must also call out the bullies. You must not condone bullying with your silence. Too many teachers and adults and coaches teach hatred through their silence. Do not do this. Actively cultivate an inclusive and nurturing environment from all angles so that your kids can learn.
#transgender #transinclusion #safeschools