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Latest #soulsearching Posts

  • Five years ago today my husband Elvis and I arrived in Tampa Florida after spending seven months in his home country of Albania. This was exactly 10 days after my sister Sabrina gave birth to my nephew Thor. 😍 It is crazy how time flys!! It just gets me thinking about how much time we can waste fixated on the past or worrying about the future. In these last five years I have worried enough for 25 lifetimes but I still don’t regret it. Why?? Because regrets waste even more time. Regrets hold weight. It is heavy and all consuming. It takes us away from the NOW. I have made countless mistakes in my life and I have wasted so much time sulking over many of them but I now know that there is a better way! The only way in my opinion. Maybe you’ve screwed up, maybe you’ve made tons of mistakes, maybe you’ve failed to be “perfect”. What is perfect after all?? Seriously think about it. Does perfection even exist? And on that note, does failure exist? Wherever you are, whatever mistakes you have made remember that it is in the past. What we have is TODAY and an opportunity to see past “failures” as guides.  They grant us with the wisdom to make better choices. Choices that will better serve you in the current moment. Do yourself the biggest favor and take a few long deep breathes and remember that you are HERE. Forgive yourself. You are in the NOW and your past doesn’t have to define you. Make the best of what you have and take the next step. You don’t have to know all of the answers, you just have to have faith that you are in the right place at the right time. 🙏💖❤️⭐️ #everythinghappensforareason #forgiveness #forgiveyourself #selflove #selfacceptance #liveinthemoment #mindfullness #positivethinking #mindset #mindsetiseverything #spiritualawakening #spirituality #beyourself #beyou #empath #highlysensitiveperson #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mindbodysoul #failure #selflove #positive #mythoughts
  • Five years ago today my husband Elvis and I arrived in Tampa Florida after spending seven months in his home country of Albania. This was exactly 10 days after my sister Sabrina gave birth to my nephew Thor. 😍 It is crazy how time flys!! It just gets me thinking about how much time we can waste fixated on the past or worrying about the future. In these last five years I have worried enough for 25 lifetimes but I still don’t regret it. Why?? Because regrets waste even more time. Regrets hold weight. It is heavy and all consuming. It takes us away from the NOW. I have made countless mistakes in my life and I have wasted so much time sulking over many of them but I now know that there is a better way! The only way in my opinion. Maybe you’ve screwed up, maybe you’ve made tons of mistakes, maybe you’ve failed to be “perfect”. What is perfect after all?? Seriously think about it. Does perfection even exist? And on that note, does failure exist? Wherever you are, whatever mistakes you have made remember that it is in the past. What we have is TODAY and an opportunity to see past “failures” as guides. They grant us with the wisdom to make better choices. Choices that will better serve you in the current moment. Do yourself the biggest favor and take a few long deep breathes and remember that you are HERE. Forgive yourself. You are in the NOW and your past doesn’t have to define you. Make the best of what you have and take the next step. You don’t have to know all of the answers, you just have to have faith that you are in the right place at the right time. 🙏💖❤️⭐️ #everythinghappensforareason #forgiveness #forgiveyourself #selflove #selfacceptance #liveinthemoment #mindfullness #positivethinking #mindset #mindsetiseverything #spiritualawakening #spirituality #beyourself #beyou #empath #highlysensitiveperson #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mindbodysoul #failure #selflove #positive #mythoughts
  •  7  1  5 minutes ago
  • Your intuitive feelings are valid. Pursue what brings your spirit the most inspiration and adventure. Move forward on this spiritual quest with courage, knowing you may need to take this journey alone to deeply reflect on yourself and your needs.💙🌌💫🧡 #tarot #innerguidance #soulsearching #cosmictarot
  • Your intuitive feelings are valid. Pursue what brings your spirit the most inspiration and adventure. Move forward on this spiritual quest with courage, knowing you may need to take this journey alone to deeply reflect on yourself and your needs.💙🌌💫🧡 #tarot #innerguidance #soulsearching #cosmictarot
  •  2  0  18 minutes ago
  • Making some changes with my backpacking trip. Internet and signal free for the next 10 days. See you, Taman Negara and Perhentian Island! 😍 (first part of the trip: before and after) 😂
  • Making some changes with my backpacking trip. Internet and signal free for the next 10 days. See you, Taman Negara and Perhentian Island! 😍 (first part of the trip: before and after) 😂
  •  8  1  39 minutes ago
  • Considering the fact that my feed is almost solely dedicated to my nature loving, outdoorsy personality, it may surprise some that I am also a massive gamer. But then again, maybe not. My infatuation with digital worlds started in my youth with the Myst games, allowing me to explore unknown and beautiful landscapes packed with lore and secrets to be discovered. It continued to an even greater extent with the Elder Scrolls series, which has become a life-long obsession of mine. I have over 500 hours of playtime in Skyrim, and I frequently return to that beautiful, icy world that feels like home by now. These days it's The Witcher 3 that holds my heart. Games like these, i.e. big, open world single-player games with substantial world-building, untamed scenery and a decent story to keep me emotionally engaged, gives me that sense of adventure and purpose, just like travelling to new countries, or spending the day with my hands deep in the soil, does. It's more than just escapism. It's an attempt to step out of my comfort zone and try to see things from someone else's perspective. It's a practice in human empathy and a willingness to imagine a different world. I'd be interested to hear if there are any games that make you feel more engaged with the world around you.

#gamer #games #computergames #witcher3 #folklore #fairytales #storytelling #innerchild #geek #fantasy #beautifulworlds #open-world #singleplayer #reflection #soulsearching #digitalworlds #digitallandscapes #creativegames #empathy #creativity #freeyourmind
  • Considering the fact that my feed is almost solely dedicated to my nature loving, outdoorsy personality, it may surprise some that I am also a massive gamer. But then again, maybe not. My infatuation with digital worlds started in my youth with the Myst games, allowing me to explore unknown and beautiful landscapes packed with lore and secrets to be discovered. It continued to an even greater extent with the Elder Scrolls series, which has become a life-long obsession of mine. I have over 500 hours of playtime in Skyrim, and I frequently return to that beautiful, icy world that feels like home by now. These days it's The Witcher 3 that holds my heart. Games like these, i.e. big, open world single-player games with substantial world-building, untamed scenery and a decent story to keep me emotionally engaged, gives me that sense of adventure and purpose, just like travelling to new countries, or spending the day with my hands deep in the soil, does. It's more than just escapism. It's an attempt to step out of my comfort zone and try to see things from someone else's perspective. It's a practice in human empathy and a willingness to imagine a different world. I'd be interested to hear if there are any games that make you feel more engaged with the world around you.

    #gamer #games #computergames #witcher3 #folklore #fairytales #storytelling #innerchild #geek #fantasy #beautifulworlds #open-world #singleplayer #reflection #soulsearching #digitalworlds #digitallandscapes #creativegames #empathy #creativity #freeyourmind
  •  9  5  42 minutes ago
  • Quarter Past 1:00 | April 24th, 2019
The black dust seems to be thicker than usual.
I tried to look at myself in the mirror and I couldn’t see my reflection,
Every breath in makes my lungs ache.
I can’t seem to grasp onto reality.
Where do I go?
I can’t see anything.
The black dust has created this dark aurora in me and I am covered.
I head out doors in search of a place that I can make refuge with cleaner air but on the way, it seems I have gotten lost in the forest all over again. 
I thought I have left these woods long ago but every time the dust creeps back I hear my name echoed throughout the trees and I can’t help but follow.
My lungs are now weak with this dust taking over so I take a seat on the ground, allowing myself to feel the electricity of the Earth course through my finger tips into my veins.
Nightfall soon comes and the stars are not as bright as they usually are.
How will I get home without the map of the stars guiding me back to the light?
The wind of the chilly night leaves goosebumps scattered across my skin and makes the dust dance through the night, right into my soul.
My soul is burning with this poisonous air and as I reach for my inhaler, the wind blows it away and all I can do is stare into the distance.
I lye down to try and ease the burning but the damage is there, already opening up old wounds that I have tried to heal long ago,
But as I am clutching my chest gasping for breath, the stars seem to pour into the sky one by one, 
Turning into the familiar constellation that plays through my head.
So I sit back and allow the darkness to overtake me, 
Knowing the stars will bring my soul back.
★★★
#poetry #spilledink #spilledthoughts #soulsearching #poetrycommunity #poetsofinstagram #poetryforthesoul 
#poetryofinstagram #anonymouspoet
  • Quarter Past 1:00 | April 24th, 2019
    The black dust seems to be thicker than usual.
    I tried to look at myself in the mirror and I couldn’t see my reflection,
    Every breath in makes my lungs ache.
    I can’t seem to grasp onto reality.
    Where do I go?
    I can’t see anything.
    The black dust has created this dark aurora in me and I am covered.
    I head out doors in search of a place that I can make refuge with cleaner air but on the way, it seems I have gotten lost in the forest all over again.
    I thought I have left these woods long ago but every time the dust creeps back I hear my name echoed throughout the trees and I can’t help but follow.
    My lungs are now weak with this dust taking over so I take a seat on the ground, allowing myself to feel the electricity of the Earth course through my finger tips into my veins.
    Nightfall soon comes and the stars are not as bright as they usually are.
    How will I get home without the map of the stars guiding me back to the light?
    The wind of the chilly night leaves goosebumps scattered across my skin and makes the dust dance through the night, right into my soul.
    My soul is burning with this poisonous air and as I reach for my inhaler, the wind blows it away and all I can do is stare into the distance.
    I lye down to try and ease the burning but the damage is there, already opening up old wounds that I have tried to heal long ago,
    But as I am clutching my chest gasping for breath, the stars seem to pour into the sky one by one,
    Turning into the familiar constellation that plays through my head.
    So I sit back and allow the darkness to overtake me,
    Knowing the stars will bring my soul back.
    ★★★
    #poetry #spilledink #spilledthoughts #soulsearching #poetrycommunity #poetsofinstagram #poetryforthesoul
    #poetryofinstagram #anonymouspoet
  •  5  0  52 minutes ago
  • Reached a milestone and didn’t even want to celebrate. I’ve done a lot of research and I’m like “I’ve still got so much I want to do so I can make it to year 5.” (Statistics show most small businesses fail before then. Don’t even look at the damn numbers for black businesses) 😩 But, today I woke up thinking about how much I’ve grown this past year. The late nights I stayed up. The money, love, tears, & energy I put into it. I KTSE on the days I wasn’t making a dollar cause it was never about that. I’m reaching so many people. Its been a year since I started my Self Care Shop. Happy Anniversary to me and my baby @worthyofevolving Can’t believe I wasn’t even gone celebrate you. 🌱Don’t be like me. Celebrate every single milestone and accomplishment. Stop thinking so much about your next. The present is a beautiful place to be. 🌻🌻🌻🌻
  • Reached a milestone and didn’t even want to celebrate. I’ve done a lot of research and I’m like “I’ve still got so much I want to do so I can make it to year 5.” (Statistics show most small businesses fail before then. Don’t even look at the damn numbers for black businesses) 😩 But, today I woke up thinking about how much I’ve grown this past year. The late nights I stayed up. The money, love, tears, & energy I put into it. I KTSE on the days I wasn’t making a dollar cause it was never about that. I’m reaching so many people. Its been a year since I started my Self Care Shop. Happy Anniversary to me and my baby @worthyofevolving Can’t believe I wasn’t even gone celebrate you. 🌱Don’t be like me. Celebrate every single milestone and accomplishment. Stop thinking so much about your next. The present is a beautiful place to be. 🌻🌻🌻🌻
  •  107  12  1 hour ago
  • Gems 💎 from my past writings.
  • Gems 💎 from my past writings.
  •  30  1  1 hour ago
  • Water • Sage • Sun Light • Meditation • Affirmations
  • Water • Sage • Sun Light • Meditation • Affirmations
  •  11  1  1 hour ago
  • Kayaking on the San Marcos river yesterday.
.
And I noticed how Kayaking is similar to living out your inner calling.
.
Find the current (your inner calling) to create effortless momentum. .
When you follow your “current” things become easier!
.
Go against the current (your natural inner calling) and you’ll struggle more than you should.
.
I believe our purpose in life is to contribute to others in a way that feels the most inspiring to us!
.
To be in our own unique current of life!
.
I believe our purpose is to find the truth of what we really desire.
.
And to discover where your desire meets the needs of others
.
Because then you’ll always be taken care of!
.
Financially, emotionally, and spiritually.
.
When we’re NOT doing what we’re suppose to do it can feel like going against the current with no hope.
.
Against your natural way.
.
It can feel exhausting!
.
And while we may be in a point of our lives that we need to go against the current (do what you need to bring money in) ....
We should Always be moving towards ways to make our inner calling a reality and to ride the current, not oppose it.
.
So...
.
Dig deep.
.
Get curious.
.
Explore your crazy wild dreams that if you shared with most people it would embarrass you. .
That embarrassment is your truth that you’ve hidden.
.
Let it out.
.
Write it out.
.
And find a community who will “get it”.
.
Not your friends or family (who will only want to keep you safe).
.
Who’d rather have you pushing against the current and working hard because at least then you (kinda) know the outcome.
.
And to be clear.
.
It’s not that you never have to go againat the current when you’re going after your inner calling.
.
Oh no!
.
You’ll face major resistance.
.
You’ll have to push harder than ever.
.
You’ll have to keep going for longer.
.
But you’ll be inspired to keep going despite the difficulties.
.
Because you know you’ll find the current once again.
.
You trust that things get to become easier and easier.
.
That going upstream is preparing you.
.
But unlike most people.
.
You’ll find your flow again. .
Because you are willing to find your own way.
.
Your own beautiful way to be in the world.
.
Much love & Freedom
  • Kayaking on the San Marcos river yesterday.
    .
    And I noticed how Kayaking is similar to living out your inner calling.
    .
    Find the current (your inner calling) to create effortless momentum. .
    When you follow your “current” things become easier!
    .
    Go against the current (your natural inner calling) and you’ll struggle more than you should.
    .
    I believe our purpose in life is to contribute to others in a way that feels the most inspiring to us!
    .
    To be in our own unique current of life!
    .
    I believe our purpose is to find the truth of what we really desire.
    .
    And to discover where your desire meets the needs of others
    .
    Because then you’ll always be taken care of!
    .
    Financially, emotionally, and spiritually.
    .
    When we’re NOT doing what we’re suppose to do it can feel like going against the current with no hope.
    .
    Against your natural way.
    .
    It can feel exhausting!
    .
    And while we may be in a point of our lives that we need to go against the current (do what you need to bring money in) ....
    We should Always be moving towards ways to make our inner calling a reality and to ride the current, not oppose it.
    .
    So...
    .
    Dig deep.
    .
    Get curious.
    .
    Explore your crazy wild dreams that if you shared with most people it would embarrass you. .
    That embarrassment is your truth that you’ve hidden.
    .
    Let it out.
    .
    Write it out.
    .
    And find a community who will “get it”.
    .
    Not your friends or family (who will only want to keep you safe).
    .
    Who’d rather have you pushing against the current and working hard because at least then you (kinda) know the outcome.
    .
    And to be clear.
    .
    It’s not that you never have to go againat the current when you’re going after your inner calling.
    .
    Oh no!
    .
    You’ll face major resistance.
    .
    You’ll have to push harder than ever.
    .
    You’ll have to keep going for longer.
    .
    But you’ll be inspired to keep going despite the difficulties.
    .
    Because you know you’ll find the current once again.
    .
    You trust that things get to become easier and easier.
    .
    That going upstream is preparing you.
    .
    But unlike most people.
    .
    You’ll find your flow again. .
    Because you are willing to find your own way.
    .
    Your own beautiful way to be in the world.
    .
    Much love & Freedom
  •  21  2  2 hours ago
  • Old school jams on the radio & we are on our way to DESTIN! ☀️🤩 documenting our journey & team retreat in stories ✌🏻
  • Old school jams on the radio & we are on our way to DESTIN! ☀️🤩 documenting our journey & team retreat in stories ✌🏻
  •  9  1  2 hours ago
  • anxious AF this week.

i have anxiety about having anxiety. i realized this last night with some help from my husband. sometimes i feel like i have these realizations, and then idk wtf to do with them. that’s happened to me about 17 times this week. i’m typing this off the dome right now, and it’s interesting to me that i chose the number 17. the day my aunt died. february 17th. the week of my birthday. her birthday is april 29th, the week of my wedding anniversary. i don’t really think that it’s a coincidence that we are connected in that way, she was my aunt, my god mother, i was her caregiver, we were, are, connected.

but i feel FINE. i’m not crying day in and day out, mourning over her death, i feel like i’ve really come to terms with the whole situation, trauma and all. but my body tells me something completely different when we approach certain landmarks and i think that’s just the wildest thing. are we ever really listening to our selves? or are we just so distracted with everything around us, that we are suffering deep inside from shit that’s so buried we forgot it was there? i vote yes 💯. and then when something triggers it, like a birthday or anniversary, it seeps its way out in the most subtle way, that we actually start to think we’re just crazy, emotional, anxious, depressed, physically sick, or whatever other label we slap on things these days.

i started spiraling the week of february 17th, it was a full moon, i had my period, and it was the first anniversary of my aunts death.

it began again this week, full moon energy, my period, her birthday coming in a few days.

cycles.

so what am i going to go, limit my screen time for the week, be soft with myself, and do things that feed my soul. like start @lizfair_’s 21 day guided exploration - Your Feminine Spirit 🌈🦋 check out the sneak peek on her website, bc it gave me chills😌
.
.
.
.
#anxiousaf #anxiety #selfreflection #trauma #invisibleillness #crohnsdisease #mindbodysoul #selfie #selflove #besoft #softandstrong #divinefeminine #femininespirit #spirituality #soulsearching #selfrealization #realshit #healing #selfexploration
  • anxious AF this week.

    i have anxiety about having anxiety. i realized this last night with some help from my husband. sometimes i feel like i have these realizations, and then idk wtf to do with them. that’s happened to me about 17 times this week. i’m typing this off the dome right now, and it’s interesting to me that i chose the number 17. the day my aunt died. february 17th. the week of my birthday. her birthday is april 29th, the week of my wedding anniversary. i don’t really think that it’s a coincidence that we are connected in that way, she was my aunt, my god mother, i was her caregiver, we were, are, connected.

    but i feel FINE. i’m not crying day in and day out, mourning over her death, i feel like i’ve really come to terms with the whole situation, trauma and all. but my body tells me something completely different when we approach certain landmarks and i think that’s just the wildest thing. are we ever really listening to our selves? or are we just so distracted with everything around us, that we are suffering deep inside from shit that’s so buried we forgot it was there? i vote yes 💯. and then when something triggers it, like a birthday or anniversary, it seeps its way out in the most subtle way, that we actually start to think we’re just crazy, emotional, anxious, depressed, physically sick, or whatever other label we slap on things these days.

    i started spiraling the week of february 17th, it was a full moon, i had my period, and it was the first anniversary of my aunts death.

    it began again this week, full moon energy, my period, her birthday coming in a few days.

    cycles.

    so what am i going to go, limit my screen time for the week, be soft with myself, and do things that feed my soul. like start @lizfair_’s 21 day guided exploration - Your Feminine Spirit 🌈🦋 check out the sneak peek on her website, bc it gave me chills😌
    .
    .
    .
    .
    #anxiousaf #anxiety #selfreflection #trauma #invisibleillness #crohnsdisease #mindbodysoul #selfie #selflove #besoft #softandstrong #divinefeminine #femininespirit #spirituality #soulsearching #selfrealization #realshit #healing #selfexploration
  •  37  7  2 hours ago
  • Well,  it should be! 🤯🌛☄🌍☯️
.
:::stomps feet and shakes fists:::
.
 #tempertantrum
  • Well, it should be! 🤯🌛☄🌍☯️
    .
    :::stomps feet and shakes fists:::
    .
    #tempertantrum
  •  7  1  2 hours ago
  • It’s ok to take up space 
It’s ok to put your needs and feelings front and center sometimes. 
Especially in your close relationships. 
It’s ok to ask for exactly what you want. 
You just might get it... If you don’t ask you’ll never know 
This is a big deal and in my experience especially for women. 
There comes a time on our journey when there’s an opportunity to make a request and some of us simply go blank. We’ve spent so much of our lives not advocating for our own needs and desires that we literally don’t know how. We literally don’t even know what we want or need. Have you felt that? 
This can change. One baby step at a time. And I’ll tell you, chances are the people who love you will be absolutely delighted when you start doing this. 
There may be some residual resentment or anger towards yourself that shows up needing to be dealt with in the process, so taking care that doesn’t come out sideways to the ones you’re asking is important. 
If you’d like some help with this, I’m here for you ❤️ Flashback to 2017 modeling for an eco friendly fashion show in Vista California so so fun 
#youmatter #babysteps #yoga #love #model #takeoffthemasks #magic #truth #godeeper
#soulsearching #onamisson #practice #showup #sayyes #sayno  #coachcasey #lifecoach  #imhereforyou #rememberwhy #yougotthis #noshame #allin #integrity #truth #wisdom  #authenticity 
#presence
  • It’s ok to take up space
    It’s ok to put your needs and feelings front and center sometimes.
    Especially in your close relationships.
    It’s ok to ask for exactly what you want.
    You just might get it... If you don’t ask you’ll never know
    This is a big deal and in my experience especially for women.
    There comes a time on our journey when there’s an opportunity to make a request and some of us simply go blank. We’ve spent so much of our lives not advocating for our own needs and desires that we literally don’t know how. We literally don’t even know what we want or need. Have you felt that?
    This can change. One baby step at a time. And I’ll tell you, chances are the people who love you will be absolutely delighted when you start doing this.
    There may be some residual resentment or anger towards yourself that shows up needing to be dealt with in the process, so taking care that doesn’t come out sideways to the ones you’re asking is important.
    If you’d like some help with this, I’m here for you ❤️ Flashback to 2017 modeling for an eco friendly fashion show in Vista California so so fun
    #youmatter #babysteps #yoga #love #model #takeoffthemasks #magic #truth #godeeper
    #soulsearching #onamisson #practice #showup #sayyes #sayno #coachcasey #lifecoach #imhereforyou #rememberwhy #yougotthis #noshame #allin #integrity #truth #wisdom #authenticity
    #presence
  •  19  3  2 hours ago
  • The tiny patch that was invisibly thatched, 
in this shrinking room, 
is now slowly wearing out.

The winter evenings, 
have managed to bring the cold winds, 
travelling outside, 
inside.

And spring was brief yet kind,
so kind that this growing patch, 
was for a while, forgotten.

And now summer is here, 
with long and hot days, 
yet everyone, everything seems cold.

In all honesty I must tell you, 
I know not what will remain,
of this dilapidating room, 
once the monsoons are gone.

It's been a while, 
and I thought you should know, 
the room you left too soon, 
is now shrinking. 
Winter, spring, summer and monsoon, 
turn into years as they pile on, 
and now this patch is proving irreparable.

#napowrimo Day 24 //The Room//
  • The tiny patch that was invisibly thatched,
    in this shrinking room,
    is now slowly wearing out.

    The winter evenings,
    have managed to bring the cold winds,
    travelling outside,
    inside.

    And spring was brief yet kind,
    so kind that this growing patch,
    was for a while, forgotten.

    And now summer is here,
    with long and hot days,
    yet everyone, everything seems cold.

    In all honesty I must tell you,
    I know not what will remain,
    of this dilapidating room,
    once the monsoons are gone.

    It's been a while,
    and I thought you should know,
    the room you left too soon,
    is now shrinking.
    Winter, spring, summer and monsoon,
    turn into years as they pile on,
    and now this patch is proving irreparable.

    #napowrimo Day 24 //The Room//
  •  27  1  2 hours ago
  • Lots of painting today, got gesso on about 10 canvas & it's been pouring down all day so it will take a while to dry.
I have 2 large canvas long due to send off but struggling with getting a transportation company due to us being far/having crappy dirt roads...that's one of the cons of living remote 🌿
  • Lots of painting today, got gesso on about 10 canvas & it's been pouring down all day so it will take a while to dry.
    I have 2 large canvas long due to send off but struggling with getting a transportation company due to us being far/having crappy dirt roads...that's one of the cons of living remote 🌿
  •  46  12  2 hours ago
  • Bloom where you are planted🌸🌼
  • Bloom where you are planted🌸🌼
  •  32  3  2 hours ago