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  • It took me a very long time to realize that when I reacted to aggressive others with the same intensity that they offered me, that I was actually equalizing myself to THEIR energies. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
When I finally SHUTTY SHUTTY and learned to OBSERVE myself, I was able to acknowledge this vibrational truth.  Once I acknowledged how I was showing up in my own skin, I found the FREE WILL to liberate myself from EGO.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
We may not always realize it, but other people's anger has the ability to CONTROL us outside our conscious awareness. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
To be liberated is find the ability to control the mind and especially our emotions. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
The next time someone throws their anger and shade your way, bob and weave Dear Ones--bob and weave. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Don't take the bait--stay in the vibration of LOVE.
  • It took me a very long time to realize that when I reacted to aggressive others with the same intensity that they offered me, that I was actually equalizing myself to THEIR energies. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
    ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
    When I finally SHUTTY SHUTTY and learned to OBSERVE myself, I was able to acknowledge this vibrational truth. Once I acknowledged how I was showing up in my own skin, I found the FREE WILL to liberate myself from EGO.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
    ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
    We may not always realize it, but other people's anger has the ability to CONTROL us outside our conscious awareness. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
    ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
    To be liberated is find the ability to control the mind and especially our emotions. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
    ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
    The next time someone throws their anger and shade your way, bob and weave Dear Ones--bob and weave. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
    ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
    Don't take the bait--stay in the vibration of LOVE.

  •  73  2  42 minutes ago
  • *
This week on the Surviving His Sex Addiction & Betrayal show, I continue to talk parenting with PTSD.
*
For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Jenni Rochelle and I am a Betrayal Trauma Specialist.  I work with women who’ve discovered that their husband is a sex addict.
*
We had a family crisis this week and it has given me a front row seat to the whole spectrum of trauma responses in action - even my own.
*
Of course, this is also what I'm studying in my family systems class this week. Because that’s how God works, right?
*
The most important thing for me to share this week are the five nervous system states that we operate from.  Everyone is always in one of these five states:
*
1) Safe Social
2) Fight/Flight
3) Freeze
4) Fawn
5) Faking It
*
I think most everyone has heard of the fight or flight response, right? In response to a perceived threat, our body prepares itself to either fight it or run like hell away from it.
*
Freeze is newer on the scene in terms of how we know that humans respond to danger but if you think about how possum freezes and plays dead, you can easily see how it also makes sense.
*
Fawn and Faking It are very new. The best way to describe Fawn is when your boss or co-worker tells a terrible sexist joke and you laugh at it.  Laughing things off and “playing nice” is a way to diffuse a threat.
*
Faking It is probably more obvious.  I think this is what we have historically referred to as “Denial.” I don’t like that word because it has come to mean something shameful or bad.
*
But here’s the thing to know - none of these states are conscious choices.  They happen in the oldest area of our brain without our awareness.
*
Since they are not conscious choices, it is so hard for you to recognize it when you’re in one of them.
*
This is why you need someone on your team who is trained to support you while you are experiencing trauma.  You need someone like me.
*
That's why I do what I do.  It's my passion.  It's my calling.  It's my STORY.
*
To learn more about what I do, you can download my free guidebook - Surviving His Sex Addiction & Betrayal.
*
You can find the link in my bio @msjennirochelle
*
Until next time, xoxo, Jenni
  • *
    This week on the Surviving His Sex Addiction & Betrayal show, I continue to talk parenting with PTSD.
    *
    For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Jenni Rochelle and I am a Betrayal Trauma Specialist. I work with women who’ve discovered that their husband is a sex addict.
    *
    We had a family crisis this week and it has given me a front row seat to the whole spectrum of trauma responses in action - even my own.
    *
    Of course, this is also what I'm studying in my family systems class this week. Because that’s how God works, right?
    *
    The most important thing for me to share this week are the five nervous system states that we operate from. Everyone is always in one of these five states:
    *
    1) Safe Social
    2) Fight/Flight
    3) Freeze
    4) Fawn
    5) Faking It
    *
    I think most everyone has heard of the fight or flight response, right? In response to a perceived threat, our body prepares itself to either fight it or run like hell away from it.
    *
    Freeze is newer on the scene in terms of how we know that humans respond to danger but if you think about how possum freezes and plays dead, you can easily see how it also makes sense.
    *
    Fawn and Faking It are very new. The best way to describe Fawn is when your boss or co-worker tells a terrible sexist joke and you laugh at it. Laughing things off and “playing nice” is a way to diffuse a threat.
    *
    Faking It is probably more obvious. I think this is what we have historically referred to as “Denial.” I don’t like that word because it has come to mean something shameful or bad.
    *
    But here’s the thing to know - none of these states are conscious choices. They happen in the oldest area of our brain without our awareness.
    *
    Since they are not conscious choices, it is so hard for you to recognize it when you’re in one of them.
    *
    This is why you need someone on your team who is trained to support you while you are experiencing trauma. You need someone like me.
    *
    That's why I do what I do. It's my passion. It's my calling. It's my STORY.
    *
    To learn more about what I do, you can download my free guidebook - Surviving His Sex Addiction & Betrayal.
    *
    You can find the link in my bio @msjennirochelle
    *
    Until next time, xoxo, Jenni

  •  2  1  2 hours ago
  • Even through you were treated like shit, look for the gold. What did you learn? How did you grow?
  • Even through you were treated like shit, look for the gold. What did you learn? How did you grow?

  •  1  1  3 hours ago
  • 💥
  • 💥

  •  38  1  4 hours ago
  • Never beg for a love and attention that you deserve. 📍 Follow @empoweringwomenx
  • Never beg for a love and attention that you deserve. 📍 Follow @empoweringwomenx

  •  87  1  11 hours ago
  • Trigger: Narcissism. ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
It was daybreak and my eyes were puffy with leftover tears and haphazard regrets. You were already gone. I knew you would be. I tiptoed around your house and pulled out my hair. I scattered them all over your shower, your room, your kitchen, your living room, your patio. ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣
You wouldn’t acknowledge me in real life so I would make you acknowledge me in your private life. ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣
12 hours earlier - you took me to dance in the froth of the midnight ocean after five years of narcissistic silence. I was thousands of miles away from home. You told me I was the love of your life. Nobody can be kinder than the narcissist while you react to life on their terms. I couldn’t tell if my impending anger was the forced distance or the cheap wine but it dripped from the sides of my mouth like an animal sick in rage.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣
You grabbed my hand and muttered something about your ‘love’ for me and I slapped you hard across the chest in attempt to move past 16 years of this rollercoaster madness. I threw off my shoes and walked into the ocean. I would’ve drown if I could’ve. You were always offended by truth. You were always offended by me. ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣
I knew you needed me to feed your ego.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
You knew I needed you to feed my insecurities. ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣
Love only dies by neglect or narcissism.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣
I chose the former.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣
You chose the later.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣
Friend, I want to give you a nugget for you to land with… a epiphany to take to your hot bath… a verse to stir up your fragile faith.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣
Because if I’ve learned anything about narcissism it is this – no one can point it out enough for you to see it until you’re ready. You have to let the guttural screams in anger and disbelief give you a wondrous inhale into something new. You can forgive yourself.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣
Perhaps you are like me - I’m almost two years sober of him. ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣
Just because you’ve moved on, doesn’t mean you don’t miss it. We are becoming clean of the spoiled vine.⁣⁣
Please don’t ever risk it again.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣
I see you. I love you. For the life of the world.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
#beautywillsavetheworld
  • Trigger: Narcissism. ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
    It was daybreak and my eyes were puffy with leftover tears and haphazard regrets. You were already gone. I knew you would be. I tiptoed around your house and pulled out my hair. I scattered them all over your shower, your room, your kitchen, your living room, your patio. ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣
    You wouldn’t acknowledge me in real life so I would make you acknowledge me in your private life. ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣
    12 hours earlier - you took me to dance in the froth of the midnight ocean after five years of narcissistic silence. I was thousands of miles away from home. You told me I was the love of your life. Nobody can be kinder than the narcissist while you react to life on their terms. I couldn’t tell if my impending anger was the forced distance or the cheap wine but it dripped from the sides of my mouth like an animal sick in rage.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣
    You grabbed my hand and muttered something about your ‘love’ for me and I slapped you hard across the chest in attempt to move past 16 years of this rollercoaster madness. I threw off my shoes and walked into the ocean. I would’ve drown if I could’ve. You were always offended by truth. You were always offended by me. ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣
    I knew you needed me to feed your ego.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
    You knew I needed you to feed my insecurities. ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣
    Love only dies by neglect or narcissism.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣
    I chose the former.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣
    You chose the later.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣
    Friend, I want to give you a nugget for you to land with… a epiphany to take to your hot bath… a verse to stir up your fragile faith.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣
    Because if I’ve learned anything about narcissism it is this – no one can point it out enough for you to see it until you’re ready. You have to let the guttural screams in anger and disbelief give you a wondrous inhale into something new. You can forgive yourself.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣
    Perhaps you are like me - I’m almost two years sober of him. ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣
    Just because you’ve moved on, doesn’t mean you don’t miss it. We are becoming clean of the spoiled vine.⁣⁣
    Please don’t ever risk it again.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣
    I see you. I love you. For the life of the world.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
    #beautywillsavetheworld

  •  419  46  12 hours ago

Top #narcopath Posts

  • That's when he really knew his 
time was up.
His greatest fear was realised.
He lost all emotional control. 
He couldn't hurt me anymore, because I'd already confidently and quietly bowed out of his game.
  • That's when he really knew his
    time was up.
    His greatest fear was realised.
    He lost all emotional control.
    He couldn't hurt me anymore, because I'd already confidently and quietly bowed out of his game.

  •  1,544  37  12 January, 2020
  • Acknowledge the hurt, not to let it consume you.. just to allow yourself to feel ok to express (not suppress) your feelings. That's another form of self-love. Healing begins with acceptance of how you're actually feeling, not denying it. I know there's that feeling of uncertainty about how you'll cope if you really let go and just feel. But you won't break down.. you'll eventually breakthrough. ❤
  • Acknowledge the hurt, not to let it consume you.. just to allow yourself to feel ok to express (not suppress) your feelings. That's another form of self-love. Healing begins with acceptance of how you're actually feeling, not denying it. I know there's that feeling of uncertainty about how you'll cope if you really let go and just feel. But you won't break down.. you'll eventually breakthrough. ❤

  •  492  15  14 January, 2020