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  • After 40,  I hit a wall. While coming out the year before relieved much tension, I was still lost when I looked at the life I built.  I wanted change. That would come with walking away from everything to find it.  I began planning my travel sabbatical the next month. .
.
I spent my 41st birthday coming to San Diego to reunite with old friends.  The next weekend I was leaving for my travel that I had spent the last year planning.  So many sparks caught fire and I recognized a desire to be back here.  The place where I was in my darkest transition, years before. .
.
On my 42nd: It’s a hazy day. I grab my favorite grey hoody and relax. I’m settled...back in SD. I reflect on the world travel.  I realized that while I had done a lot of work on myself, traveling and not having the work stress highlighted much other pain.  I had never given myself room to grieve and be angry over the years lost fighting an uphill battle with my sexuality.  I could feel the tension in my skin of the countless messages I heard about my low worth because I was gay. I  remained reserved in my grief and anger. I didn’t want to hear other people tell me how to forgive.  My life was officially, finally...on my terms. .
.
I’m done grieving.  I’m grateful there is a time and place where grieving and anger ends. I’m more aware of what goes on in the world than I’ve ever been.  And with that, I refuse to grow hard hearted but take that awareness and shape my place in this world ...
unapologetically. .
.
42: The first year I celebrate sober. The first year I turn to look at my past and it says.... “All clear, go forward.” The first year my days are full of goodness because I rebuilt a life that was not serving my true self and did so at the cost of my security.  And now... everything works.  And I’m so...damn...happy. .
.
#banconversiontherapy #equality #boyerased #ownyourstory #lovenothate #lovehasnogender #comingout #instagay #comingoutgay #spiritualabuse  #freemomhugs #gaysandiego #gayselfie #exvangelical #traumainformed #childhoodtrauma #gayolder #nationalcomingoutday #transcommunity #transawareness #emdr #emdrtherapy #gaychristian #cptsdrecovery #cptsd #childhoodtrauma #hrc #godlovesall
  • @theothersideofsaved Profile picture

    @theothersideofsaved

    San Diego, California

    After 40, I hit a wall. While coming out the year before relieved much tension, I was still lost when I looked at the life I built. I wanted change. That would come with walking away from everything to find it. I began planning my travel sabbatical the next month. .
    .
    I spent my 41st birthday coming to San Diego to reunite with old friends. The next weekend I was leaving for my travel that I had spent the last year planning. So many sparks caught fire and I recognized a desire to be back here. The place where I was in my darkest transition, years before. .
    .
    On my 42nd: It’s a hazy day. I grab my favorite grey hoody and relax. I’m settled...back in SD. I reflect on the world travel. I realized that while I had done a lot of work on myself, traveling and not having the work stress highlighted much other pain. I had never given myself room to grieve and be angry over the years lost fighting an uphill battle with my sexuality. I could feel the tension in my skin of the countless messages I heard about my low worth because I was gay. I remained reserved in my grief and anger. I didn’t want to hear other people tell me how to forgive. My life was officially, finally...on my terms. .
    .
    I’m done grieving. I’m grateful there is a time and place where grieving and anger ends. I’m more aware of what goes on in the world than I’ve ever been. And with that, I refuse to grow hard hearted but take that awareness and shape my place in this world ...
    unapologetically. .
    .
    42: The first year I celebrate sober. The first year I turn to look at my past and it says.... “All clear, go forward.” The first year my days are full of goodness because I rebuilt a life that was not serving my true self and did so at the cost of my security. And now... everything works. And I’m so...damn...happy. .
    .
    #banconversiontherapy #equality #boyerased #ownyourstory #lovenothate #lovehasnogender #comingout #instagay #comingoutgay #spiritualabuse #freemomhugs #gaysandiego #gayselfie #exvangelical #traumainformed #childhoodtrauma #gayolder #nationalcomingoutday #transcommunity #transawareness #emdr #emdrtherapy #gaychristian #cptsdrecovery #cptsd #childhoodtrauma #hrc #godlovesall

  •  273  91  2 hours ago
  • Why must it be like this 😭
  • @okmistakes Profile picture

    @okmistakes

    Why must it be like this 😭

  •  10,345  35  17 August, 2019
  • How’s your year going? 👇🏻😂
  • @okmistakes Profile picture

    @okmistakes

    How’s your year going? 👇🏻😂

  •  6,486  38  18 hours ago