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  • Mark your calendar! We are having our Virtual Alumni Meeting this and every Friday at 7pm via Zoom. Meeting info in comments and profile, everyone welcome to attend!
  • Mark your calendar! We are having our Virtual Alumni Meeting this and every Friday at 7pm via Zoom. Meeting info in comments and profile, everyone welcome to attend!

  •  0  1  30 seconds ago
  • win: cake is backkk and she looking fine!🥳🤟🏼🧡 -
-
I don’t have much to say as I usually do. I usually like writing poetry to let out feelings. I was into writing poems since 12 years old and felt blessed when people read them. It’s one of the things I lost when I developed an Ed. I lost words. I lost hope. I felt as if I almost lost everything. It took away my ability to looks at things I did as a child. I couldn’t remember anything except food. I couldn’t memorize anything except food. As I started writing again, and let out all negativity out, I began to remember my childhood, the good times, the laughs, the energy, my faith, my future, and so many others. I compared life to beautiful objects. I related to the beauty of nature or the mysteries of the world. rhythms came naturally and my words come out swirling like the wind. It really helped me expressed what was haunting me and turn it into something beautiful. Something people caught on or looked at. Kind of like finding the light in even the darkest times. -
What I’m saying to you is that sometimes writing songs, journaling, poetry, or anything really can really help express the emotions you have inside. It’s like you’re in your own world and relating your life to it. Words come naturally and you began to find the pattern that works for you. That is you. Talk to yourself through writing. During these times, find your calmness in the storms. Find your peace. Find your words. Find your pattern. Find what works for you
  • win: cake is backkk and she looking fine!🥳🤟🏼🧡 -
    -
    I don’t have much to say as I usually do. I usually like writing poetry to let out feelings. I was into writing poems since 12 years old and felt blessed when people read them. It’s one of the things I lost when I developed an Ed. I lost words. I lost hope. I felt as if I almost lost everything. It took away my ability to looks at things I did as a child. I couldn’t remember anything except food. I couldn’t memorize anything except food. As I started writing again, and let out all negativity out, I began to remember my childhood, the good times, the laughs, the energy, my faith, my future, and so many others. I compared life to beautiful objects. I related to the beauty of nature or the mysteries of the world. rhythms came naturally and my words come out swirling like the wind. It really helped me expressed what was haunting me and turn it into something beautiful. Something people caught on or looked at. Kind of like finding the light in even the darkest times. -
    What I’m saying to you is that sometimes writing songs, journaling, poetry, or anything really can really help express the emotions you have inside. It’s like you’re in your own world and relating your life to it. Words come naturally and you began to find the pattern that works for you. That is you. Talk to yourself through writing. During these times, find your calmness in the storms. Find your peace. Find your words. Find your pattern. Find what works for you

  •  3  1  5 minutes ago
  • In unprecedented times, I am looking forward to this virtual race by @ultraxco this Saturday. 
Run the 14.1km, upload your time, and get a medal 🏅 if you want one. Race results released on Monday 13th.
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. .
#canthurtme #stayhard #hardwork #hardworkpaysoffs #run #running #runningman #runningmotivation #runners #runnersofinstagram #runnerscommunity #runtoinspire #ukrunchat #ukrunning #marathontraining #fitnessmotivation #weightedvest #londonmarathontraining #runnersworld #runningtherapy #irunthisbody #edwarrior #mentalhealthawareness #instarunners #ultrarunning #ultrarunnerslife #thevirtualultraxperience
  • In unprecedented times, I am looking forward to this virtual race by @ultraxco this Saturday.
    Run the 14.1km, upload your time, and get a medal 🏅 if you want one. Race results released on Monday 13th.
    .
    .
    . .
    #canthurtme #stayhard #hardwork #hardworkpaysoffs #run #running #runningman #runningmotivation #runners #runnersofinstagram #runnerscommunity #runtoinspire #ukrunchat #ukrunning #marathontraining #fitnessmotivation #weightedvest #londonmarathontraining #runnersworld #runningtherapy #irunthisbody #edwarrior #mentalhealthawareness #instarunners #ultrarunning #ultrarunnerslife #thevirtualultraxperience

  •  23  0  7 minutes ago
  • it's not a crime to enjoy food!
I'll say it louder for the people in the back, IT'S NOT A CRIME TO ENJOY FOOD! and then one more time to try to get it through to myself, IT'S 👏 NOT 👏 A 👏 CRIME 👏 TO 👏 ENJOY 👏 FOOD! ⭐ the ultimate challenge trust me I know, but the ultimate act of self-care is to recognise that you have permission to be kind to yourself. I definitely struggle with it, truth be told - I had a bit of a sob a little way through having this, and I haven't finished it yet because #STRESS but my goodness I have enjoyed it! I know it can feel like we don't deserve to enjoy things, but that's not true. It's all part of the Liar's venom that creeps through. It will be difficult, it IS difficult, but I've been assured by doctors and counsellors and psychologists and every one in between that apparently, little by little, that it will get easier. so you and me both will have to try to keep trusting and pushing ourselves, we can do it I just know it 😌🤙 okay! love you! you deserve nice things! even if you can't see it x
  • it's not a crime to enjoy food!
    I'll say it louder for the people in the back, IT'S NOT A CRIME TO ENJOY FOOD! and then one more time to try to get it through to myself, IT'S 👏 NOT 👏 A 👏 CRIME 👏 TO 👏 ENJOY 👏 FOOD! ⭐ the ultimate challenge trust me I know, but the ultimate act of self-care is to recognise that you have permission to be kind to yourself. I definitely struggle with it, truth be told - I had a bit of a sob a little way through having this, and I haven't finished it yet because #STRESS but my goodness I have enjoyed it! I know it can feel like we don't deserve to enjoy things, but that's not true. It's all part of the Liar's venom that creeps through. It will be difficult, it IS difficult, but I've been assured by doctors and counsellors and psychologists and every one in between that apparently, little by little, that it will get easier. so you and me both will have to try to keep trusting and pushing ourselves, we can do it I just know it 😌🤙 okay! love you! you deserve nice things! even if you can't see it x

  •  5  1  12 minutes ago
  • TRANSFORMATION TIME 👀
—
Ja Leute, ich reihe mich jetzt auch in die Reihe der #transformation Bilder ein 🌚
Links 2016 - Rechts 2020 💜
Ich möchte euch gar nicht zu labern mit meiner Essstörungsgeschichte, ich denke Bilder sagen mehr als 1000 Worte 🙃
Ich wünsche euch allen das beste, gerade den Kandidaten mit einer #Mentalillness ich weiß wie schwer ihr es habt 💗
Meine Lieblingsspruch aktuell ist:
» Angst beginnt im Kopf, Mut auch « 👏🏽
Deswegen schicke ich euch auf diesem Wege ganz viel Power um etwas zu verändern! 💥 Nicht nur den Leuten mit diesem Problem sondern auch allen anderen, um Sachen zu verändern die sie gerade an sich stören 🌈
Love u all, xoxo Clara
  • TRANSFORMATION TIME 👀

    Ja Leute, ich reihe mich jetzt auch in die Reihe der #transformation Bilder ein 🌚
    Links 2016 - Rechts 2020 💜
    Ich möchte euch gar nicht zu labern mit meiner Essstörungsgeschichte, ich denke Bilder sagen mehr als 1000 Worte 🙃
    Ich wünsche euch allen das beste, gerade den Kandidaten mit einer #Mentalillness ich weiß wie schwer ihr es habt 💗
    Meine Lieblingsspruch aktuell ist:
    » Angst beginnt im Kopf, Mut auch « 👏🏽
    Deswegen schicke ich euch auf diesem Wege ganz viel Power um etwas zu verändern! 💥 Nicht nur den Leuten mit diesem Problem sondern auch allen anderen, um Sachen zu verändern die sie gerade an sich stören 🌈
    Love u all, xoxo Clara

  •  28  6  20 minutes ago
  • Triggering af.
  • Triggering af.

  •  22  1  26 minutes ago
  • 'What was the defining moment in choosing to go all in?' I've seen this question passed around the community and also been the person to ask it

For so long I believed there was a secret answer, something someone wasn't telling me! And I would've done anything to hit a quick fix switch that somehow I believed existed, but never the less like many others I realised there was only one solution, to feel shit and do it anyway

Ive learnt a lot about the 5 stages of grief in my personal life and I can liken it a lot to my choice to go all in to recover from this monstrous illness

1️⃣ Denial: It wasn't needed, I wasn't sick enough for it

2️⃣ Anger: Well why should I? They're making it look easy, why does no one understand!

3️⃣ Bargaining: Okay I'll give it a go, but I'll do so and keep my ED happy so that it is 'manageable'

4️⃣ Depression: What am I doing, this all feels so wrong, why can't I break free, why don't I have the solution!

5️⃣ Acceptance: What do all these people that I admire have in common? They're just doing it, they're eating, feeling shit and are still going anyway, they're not unicorns, they've just bitten the inevitable bullet that there's only one way through. In the words of the almighty Shia lebouf - 'Just Do It'

The length you stay in each of these stages is unique to each and every one of you and this journey to acceptance for me personally has taken quite a while, but it is possible to get here so keep fighting! 
Pic: A special person's favourite flowers 😇💐
  • 'What was the defining moment in choosing to go all in?' I've seen this question passed around the community and also been the person to ask it

    For so long I believed there was a secret answer, something someone wasn't telling me! And I would've done anything to hit a quick fix switch that somehow I believed existed, but never the less like many others I realised there was only one solution, to feel shit and do it anyway

    Ive learnt a lot about the 5 stages of grief in my personal life and I can liken it a lot to my choice to go all in to recover from this monstrous illness

    1️⃣ Denial: It wasn't needed, I wasn't sick enough for it

    2️⃣ Anger: Well why should I? They're making it look easy, why does no one understand!

    3️⃣ Bargaining: Okay I'll give it a go, but I'll do so and keep my ED happy so that it is 'manageable'

    4️⃣ Depression: What am I doing, this all feels so wrong, why can't I break free, why don't I have the solution!

    5️⃣ Acceptance: What do all these people that I admire have in common? They're just doing it, they're eating, feeling shit and are still going anyway, they're not unicorns, they've just bitten the inevitable bullet that there's only one way through. In the words of the almighty Shia lebouf - 'Just Do It'

    The length you stay in each of these stages is unique to each and every one of you and this journey to acceptance for me personally has taken quite a while, but it is possible to get here so keep fighting!
    Pic: A special person's favourite flowers 😇💐

  •  3  2  36 minutes ago
  • Petit déjeuner gourmand droit devant 😍
Un chausson aux pommes, des fruits, un palet breton et toujours mon thé 🍵😊 Ma journée de travail a déjà commencé depuis plus d'une heure, encore une journée qui va passer vite à mon avis 😂

Belle journée à vous ❤️ #morning #breakfast #petitdej #petitdejeuner #viennoiserie #boulangerie #recovery #edrecovery #positivity #loveyourself #picoftheday #foodporn #yummy #delicious #anarecovery #warrior #edwarrior #bodypositive #bienmanger #motivation #blog #foodblogger #tcafighter #plaisir #gourmandise #photography #healthy #musculation #miam #bonappetit
  • Petit déjeuner gourmand droit devant 😍
    Un chausson aux pommes, des fruits, un palet breton et toujours mon thé 🍵😊 Ma journée de travail a déjà commencé depuis plus d'une heure, encore une journée qui va passer vite à mon avis 😂

    Belle journée à vous ❤️ #morning #breakfast #petitdej #petitdejeuner #viennoiserie #boulangerie #recovery #edrecovery #positivity #loveyourself #picoftheday #foodporn #yummy #delicious #anarecovery #warrior #edwarrior #bodypositive #bienmanger #motivation #blog #foodblogger #tcafighter #plaisir #gourmandise #photography #healthy #musculation #miam #bonappetit

  •  43  1  55 minutes ago
  • been having this for breakfast for the past few days... blackcurrant wheat biscuits with banana + granola 💜🍌
:
:
#foodofinstagram #instafoodie #foodideas #veggie #vegan #meatfree #dairyfree #aesthetic #tasty #yum #plantbased #healthy #wheatbiscuits #cereal #breakfast #breakfastideas #foodinspo #soya  #foodreviews #morning #fiveaday #recoverywarrior #anorexiarecovery #edfighter #edwarrior #edrecovery #wednesday #fruit #foodblogger #fooddiary
  • been having this for breakfast for the past few days... blackcurrant wheat biscuits with banana + granola 💜🍌
    :
    :
    #foodofinstagram #instafoodie #foodideas #veggie #vegan #meatfree #dairyfree #aesthetic #tasty #yum #plantbased #healthy #wheatbiscuits #cereal #breakfast #breakfastideas #foodinspo #soya #foodreviews #morning #fiveaday #recoverywarrior #anorexiarecovery #edfighter #edwarrior #edrecovery #wednesday #fruit #foodblogger #fooddiary

  •  38  1  1 hour ago
  • Is it possible to be fully recovered?

YESSS!!! -

BECAUSE recovery isn't about NEVER having disordered thoughts anymore. It's about not acting on them.
-

Sometimes ED thoughts can be overwhelmingly strong and the possibility to restrict might seem tempting. But trust me, it's not and never will be the right thing to do.

Disordered thoughts are exhausting. I've been there, felt that. They manipulate you and it seems like they will never go away. Well…

How about perceiving them as a warning signal rather than an invitation to run back to your ED? A warning signal with one clear message: DO THE OPPOSITE.

Eat when your ED tells you not to.
Rest when your ED tells you to exercise or to go for a run.
Cry if you need to.
Let yourself feel your emotions.
-

There will be times (even when you already are fully recovered) where the urge to restrict kicks really hard. But in the end, disordered thoughts are what they are: JUST THOUGHTS. 
That doesn't (ever) give you the permission to act on them or indulge with your ED once again.

Reminder: Your ED is a liar!

You can try out my tips when the voice in your head gets too loud and reach out to me if you feel like there's nobody around you who truly understands what you're going through. I'm here for you!!
-

And ALWAYS remember that you already ARE enough.
Right now.
Right here.

#edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #recovery #anorexiarecovery #anorexia #edwarrior #fightback #eatingdisorder #mentalhealth #ed #edfighter #recoveryispossible #recoveryisworthit #prorecovery #haes #intuitiveeating #recovering #healing #selflove #bodypositive #anorexianervosa #recoveryjourney #eatittobeatit #antidiet #fucktheed #selfacceptance #allin #foodfreedom #realrecovery #norestriction
  • Is it possible to be fully recovered?

    YESSS!!! -

    BECAUSE recovery isn't about NEVER having disordered thoughts anymore. It's about not acting on them.
    -

    Sometimes ED thoughts can be overwhelmingly strong and the possibility to restrict might seem tempting. But trust me, it's not and never will be the right thing to do.

    Disordered thoughts are exhausting. I've been there, felt that. They manipulate you and it seems like they will never go away. Well…

    How about perceiving them as a warning signal rather than an invitation to run back to your ED? A warning signal with one clear message: DO THE OPPOSITE.

    Eat when your ED tells you not to.
    Rest when your ED tells you to exercise or to go for a run.
    Cry if you need to.
    Let yourself feel your emotions.
    -

    There will be times (even when you already are fully recovered) where the urge to restrict kicks really hard. But in the end, disordered thoughts are what they are: JUST THOUGHTS.
    That doesn't (ever) give you the permission to act on them or indulge with your ED once again.

    Reminder: Your ED is a liar!

    You can try out my tips when the voice in your head gets too loud and reach out to me if you feel like there's nobody around you who truly understands what you're going through. I'm here for you!!
    -

    And ALWAYS remember that you already ARE enough.
    Right now.
    Right here.

    #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #recovery #anorexiarecovery #anorexia #edwarrior #fightback #eatingdisorder #mentalhealth #ed #edfighter #recoveryispossible #recoveryisworthit #prorecovery #haes #intuitiveeating #recovering #healing #selflove #bodypositive #anorexianervosa #recoveryjourney #eatittobeatit #antidiet #fucktheed #selfacceptance #allin #foodfreedom #realrecovery #norestriction

  •  4  0  1 hour ago
  • Vou contar para vocês como esse chocolate foi parar na minha boca:
Depois da janta eu ia comer fruta de sobremesa, porque achei que por causa daquele croissant eu tinha consumido muita gordura para um dia só. Então eu pensei no que eu realmente estava com vontade, no que eu queria. E qual mal seria eu comer muita gordura num dia só? Ela me mantém viva e feliz! 
Mandei o ed ir se f...🤬 e comi, e super indico. Um dos meus favoritos 😍
Obrigada @talyngracee e @recoveringlouise_ por me ajudarem tanto nessa luta❤😘 #recoveryanorexia #recovery #anarecover #anorexia #anarecoverymeals #anorexiafighter #anorexiawarrior #anorexìanervosarecovery #anarecovery #anarecovering #anorexiasurvivor #anorexianervosarecovery #anarecovered #anorexianervosarecoverymeal #anarecoverydiary #eatingdisorderrecovery #edrecovering #edfighter #edrecovery #edrecover #edwarrior #disorderedeating #disturbioalimentar #dontcountcalories #noproana #noanorexia #nocountcalories #sepermita #fightinganorexia #tcarecovery
  • Vou contar para vocês como esse chocolate foi parar na minha boca:
    Depois da janta eu ia comer fruta de sobremesa, porque achei que por causa daquele croissant eu tinha consumido muita gordura para um dia só. Então eu pensei no que eu realmente estava com vontade, no que eu queria. E qual mal seria eu comer muita gordura num dia só? Ela me mantém viva e feliz!
    Mandei o ed ir se f...🤬 e comi, e super indico. Um dos meus favoritos 😍
    Obrigada @talyngracee e @recoveringlouise_ por me ajudarem tanto nessa luta❤😘 #recoveryanorexia #recovery #anarecover #anorexia #anarecoverymeals #anorexiafighter #anorexiawarrior #anorexìanervosarecovery #anarecovery #anarecovering #anorexiasurvivor #anorexianervosarecovery #anarecovered #anorexianervosarecoverymeal #anarecoverydiary #eatingdisorderrecovery #edrecovering #edfighter #edrecovery #edrecover #edwarrior #disorderedeating #disturbioalimentar #dontcountcalories #noproana #noanorexia #nocountcalories #sepermita #fightinganorexia #tcarecovery

  •  3  0  1 hour ago
  • 🍓🍫 SALTED CARAMEL DATE AND CHOCOLATE PORRIDGE WITH STRAWBERRY COLLAGEN CREAM ❤️
—
Good morning, my lovelies ❤️ Easter is approaching and my @montezumaschocs bag of 100% peanut butter mini eggs is getting more and more empty 😅 Chocolate is one of my favourite antidotes to keep me going during this pandemic, but another thing that has been a saving grace is manifestation and journalling (as always). The future may seem bleak to many, but I’m trying to look at it with allllll of the excitement as there are so many things that we will appreciate so much more once we come out of this, and the future holds so many more beautiful adventures that I can’t wait to throw myself into. I’ve been manifesting, envisioning, and writing down what I desire my future to consist of, and I’m just going to trust the universe as much as I can, and keep pushing through this pandemic.  We’ve got this, beauties 🌹
—
Breakfast today was a DREAM. I made myself porridge mixed with 3 small chopped dates, cinnamon, and pink salt. As well as this, I had soy yogurt that I whipped with @gardenoflife_uk stawberry lemonade collagen and chia seeds, and topped this bowl off with pomegranates, @ketohana cacao granola, and a 100% dark choc and pb Easter egg from @montezumaschocs. A. Dream. Yes. Please.
  • 🍓🍫 SALTED CARAMEL DATE AND CHOCOLATE PORRIDGE WITH STRAWBERRY COLLAGEN CREAM ❤️

    Good morning, my lovelies ❤️ Easter is approaching and my @montezumaschocs bag of 100% peanut butter mini eggs is getting more and more empty 😅 Chocolate is one of my favourite antidotes to keep me going during this pandemic, but another thing that has been a saving grace is manifestation and journalling (as always). The future may seem bleak to many, but I’m trying to look at it with allllll of the excitement as there are so many things that we will appreciate so much more once we come out of this, and the future holds so many more beautiful adventures that I can’t wait to throw myself into. I’ve been manifesting, envisioning, and writing down what I desire my future to consist of, and I’m just going to trust the universe as much as I can, and keep pushing through this pandemic. We’ve got this, beauties 🌹

    Breakfast today was a DREAM. I made myself porridge mixed with 3 small chopped dates, cinnamon, and pink salt. As well as this, I had soy yogurt that I whipped with @gardenoflife_uk stawberry lemonade collagen and chia seeds, and topped this bowl off with pomegranates, @ketohana cacao granola, and a 100% dark choc and pb Easter egg from @montezumaschocs. A. Dream. Yes. Please.

  •  108  9  1 hour ago
  • One year ago I had the immense pleasure of taking photographs with the talented and powerful @lilithandlavender
🌴
I had always dreamed of going to Savannah & I had a gay divorce to mourn & all these hotel points to use. This photo shoot was the highlight for me by a long shot. Sharing wisdom, ramen, and Co-creating images that are so vibrant and so Savannah.
🌴
The past year of my life has been rough but it ends on a bright spot. I'm so much stronger than I ever thought. I showed up for myself every day, one day at a time.
  • One year ago I had the immense pleasure of taking photographs with the talented and powerful @lilithandlavender
    🌴
    I had always dreamed of going to Savannah & I had a gay divorce to mourn & all these hotel points to use. This photo shoot was the highlight for me by a long shot. Sharing wisdom, ramen, and Co-creating images that are so vibrant and so Savannah.
    🌴
    The past year of my life has been rough but it ends on a bright spot. I'm so much stronger than I ever thought. I showed up for myself every day, one day at a time.

  •  53  1  1 hour ago
  • I hope everyone is taking care of themselves during isolation💕
•
It’s a bit of a scary and uncertain time but just remember that we are not alone and we will all get through this together.
•
A massive shoutout to all my year 12 friends who have had their year interrupted by all this. Try not to stress too much and just remember that a single year at school doesn’t define you!
•
To everyone who is struggling during this time trust me I feel your pain. I know it’s hard just focus on one day at a time and try and use this time to appreciate your family and the simple things of life whether that’s feeling the sun on your skin or walking the dog find something that makes your heart sing even if it’s small💫
•
We’re all in this together sending love your way💕
Love Jac xoxo
  • I hope everyone is taking care of themselves during isolation💕

    It’s a bit of a scary and uncertain time but just remember that we are not alone and we will all get through this together.

    A massive shoutout to all my year 12 friends who have had their year interrupted by all this. Try not to stress too much and just remember that a single year at school doesn’t define you!

    To everyone who is struggling during this time trust me I feel your pain. I know it’s hard just focus on one day at a time and try and use this time to appreciate your family and the simple things of life whether that’s feeling the sun on your skin or walking the dog find something that makes your heart sing even if it’s small💫

    We’re all in this together sending love your way💕
    Love Jac xoxo

  •  64  2  1 hour ago
  • To mark being in recovery for one year I made myself something I always want but never quite have the strength to make. Nachos are by far one of my favorite foods and tonight I had them with all the toppings and mate it feels good.
Honestly if I was to think a year a go that I could make myself this kind of a dinner and eat it I would have laughed and cried at the same time. It felt impossible. I was 100% convinced my life could not get any better but I made the commitment and here I am. Still having ups and downs but always coming back to recovery because my life is so much better, I'm a completely different person (in a good way) and most importantly I can see a future.
.
.
.
.
#anorexia #anorexiarecovery #anafighter #anawarrior #edrecovery #recovery #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #mentalhealth #edwarrior #edfighter #eatittobeatit
  • To mark being in recovery for one year I made myself something I always want but never quite have the strength to make. Nachos are by far one of my favorite foods and tonight I had them with all the toppings and mate it feels good.
    Honestly if I was to think a year a go that I could make myself this kind of a dinner and eat it I would have laughed and cried at the same time. It felt impossible. I was 100% convinced my life could not get any better but I made the commitment and here I am. Still having ups and downs but always coming back to recovery because my life is so much better, I'm a completely different person (in a good way) and most importantly I can see a future.
    .
    .
    .
    .
    #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #anafighter #anawarrior #edrecovery #recovery #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #mentalhealth #edwarrior #edfighter #eatittobeatit

  •  6  0  1 hour ago
  • Reasons not to stay in quasi recovery (part 2)
🍝
16.  I don’t like waiting money on health foods
17. I don’t like being reliant on coffee and sugar free juice to get me through the day
18. I’ve wasted 10 years trying to change myself, maybe I should try accepting myself.
19. I want to be spontaneous.
20.  I want holidays to be exciting, not stressful
21. I want parties to be fun, not stressful
22. I’m sick of having to restrict before events
23. My eating disorder makes other areas of my life more stressful and ritualised (eg cleaning, down time etc)
24. Long term, I won’t maintain a super lean body, no matter how hard I try - is it worth the stress now?
25. My eating disorder contributes to my anxiety and depression
26. I don’t want to be living according to diet culture and wellness brainwashing
27. I get bruises down my spine at pole class.
28. I am more judgemental of other people and their food choices because of my ongoing orthorexic thoughts
29. Nutritional science is a new field and there are lots of conflicting messages.
30. I can’t challenge societal fat phobia, while being obsessive about my own body shape
🍝
Okay, this is all I could think of for now. What’re your motivators to get out of quasi recovery?
  • Reasons not to stay in quasi recovery (part 2)
    🍝
    16. I don’t like waiting money on health foods
    17. I don’t like being reliant on coffee and sugar free juice to get me through the day
    18. I’ve wasted 10 years trying to change myself, maybe I should try accepting myself.
    19. I want to be spontaneous.
    20. I want holidays to be exciting, not stressful
    21. I want parties to be fun, not stressful
    22. I’m sick of having to restrict before events
    23. My eating disorder makes other areas of my life more stressful and ritualised (eg cleaning, down time etc)
    24. Long term, I won’t maintain a super lean body, no matter how hard I try - is it worth the stress now?
    25. My eating disorder contributes to my anxiety and depression
    26. I don’t want to be living according to diet culture and wellness brainwashing
    27. I get bruises down my spine at pole class.
    28. I am more judgemental of other people and their food choices because of my ongoing orthorexic thoughts
    29. Nutritional science is a new field and there are lots of conflicting messages.
    30. I can’t challenge societal fat phobia, while being obsessive about my own body shape
    🍝
    Okay, this is all I could think of for now. What’re your motivators to get out of quasi recovery?

  •  18  1  1 hour ago
  • I don’t think my motivation to exercise has ever been so low. Watching everyone’s stories and home work outs - How does everyone find time for it all? I’m still over here slogging away at my 8-5 job and taking all my work stress home with me because it’s already at home 🤷‍♀️
.
I’m finding it impossible to switch off in the evenings 😕 and I have no idea how I used to fit in all that running 🤣🙈
.
Onwards and upwards. Today is a new day ☀️
.
.
.
#pregnantrunner #babyonboard #pregnancyfitness
.
#runhappyteam #brooksrunning #brooksrunhappyteam
#runnersofinstagram #instarunners #irunthisbody #runningcommunity #runningtherapy #edwarrior #mentalhealthawareness #sundayrunday #strongnotskinny #ihavearunnersbody #runhappy #runnersofig
  • I don’t think my motivation to exercise has ever been so low. Watching everyone’s stories and home work outs - How does everyone find time for it all? I’m still over here slogging away at my 8-5 job and taking all my work stress home with me because it’s already at home 🤷‍♀️
    .
    I’m finding it impossible to switch off in the evenings 😕 and I have no idea how I used to fit in all that running 🤣🙈
    .
    Onwards and upwards. Today is a new day ☀️
    .
    .
    .
    #pregnantrunner #babyonboard #pregnancyfitness
    .
    #runhappyteam #brooksrunning #brooksrunhappyteam
    #runnersofinstagram #instarunners #irunthisbody #runningcommunity #runningtherapy #edwarrior #mentalhealthawareness #sundayrunday #strongnotskinny #ihavearunnersbody #runhappy #runnersofig

  •  144  25  1 hour ago
  • Everyday I’m chasing something different, everyday the way I operate is totally different, it’s not about the product for me, it’s much about the process, the process saved my life. 
Training plan today by @purdue_performance 💫

Have a peaceful Wednesday. Be your best self, stay connected, stay responsible and act with kindness. All the love. All the power ⭐️ ✅ up at 05:45
Get your shoes on, lace them up and get the fuck after it.
If it doesn’t suck. I don’t fucking do it.
.
.
.
#canthurtme #stayhard #hardwork #hardworkpaysoffs #run #running #runningman #runningmotivation #runners #runnersofinstagram #runnerscommunity #runtoinspire #ukrunchat #ukrunning #marathontraining #tacticalfitness #military #militaryvest #fitnessmotivation #weightedvest #londonmarathontraining #runnersworld #runningtherapy #irunthisbody #edwarrior #mentalhealthawareness #instarunners #ultrarunning #ultrarunnerslife
  • Everyday I’m chasing something different, everyday the way I operate is totally different, it’s not about the product for me, it’s much about the process, the process saved my life.
    Training plan today by @purdue_performance 💫

    Have a peaceful Wednesday. Be your best self, stay connected, stay responsible and act with kindness. All the love. All the power ⭐️ ✅ up at 05:45
    Get your shoes on, lace them up and get the fuck after it.
    If it doesn’t suck. I don’t fucking do it.
    .
    .
    .
    #canthurtme #stayhard #hardwork #hardworkpaysoffs #run #running #runningman #runningmotivation #runners #runnersofinstagram #runnerscommunity #runtoinspire #ukrunchat #ukrunning #marathontraining #tacticalfitness #military #militaryvest #fitnessmotivation #weightedvest #londonmarathontraining #runnersworld #runningtherapy #irunthisbody #edwarrior #mentalhealthawareness #instarunners #ultrarunning #ultrarunnerslife

  •  158  4  2 hours ago
  • FDOE 07.04.2020
Frühstück: Eiweißbrot mit Gurke, Apfel
Mittag: Eiweißbrot mit Gurke
Snack: Joghurt mit Erdbeeren
Abendessen: Kartoffelbrei, Tofu, Gemüse
Snack: Apfel, gefrorene Beeren 
#schwangerschaftsdiabetes #fdoe #ed #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #recovery #anorexiarecovery #anorexia #edwarrior #pregnant #pregnancy #eatingdisorder #mentalhealth #bulimie #bulimierecovery #schwanger #anorexianervosarecovery #edfighter #bulimiarecovery #recoveryispossible #prorecovery #recoveryisworthit #recoverywin #mentalhealthawarenes #selflove #anorexianervosa #bodypositive #anorexiafighter #eatittobeatit #strongnotskinny
  • FDOE 07.04.2020
    Frühstück: Eiweißbrot mit Gurke, Apfel
    Mittag: Eiweißbrot mit Gurke
    Snack: Joghurt mit Erdbeeren
    Abendessen: Kartoffelbrei, Tofu, Gemüse
    Snack: Apfel, gefrorene Beeren
    #schwangerschaftsdiabetes #fdoe #ed #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #recovery #anorexiarecovery #anorexia #edwarrior #pregnant #pregnancy #eatingdisorder #mentalhealth #bulimie #bulimierecovery #schwanger #anorexianervosarecovery #edfighter #bulimiarecovery #recoveryispossible #prorecovery #recoveryisworthit #recoverywin #mentalhealthawarenes #selflove #anorexianervosa #bodypositive #anorexiafighter #eatittobeatit #strongnotskinny

  •  10  1  2 hours ago
  • This little dude. He's so prescious but man when his emotions hit, I just feel like bawling with him! Today was my first day home after a week in the psych unit..it was hard not gunna lie. I dealt with a lot of general anxiety and then by 8 pm all I wanted to do was pass out. Hoping tomorrow is a bit better 🤞Doing my best over here. Trying to remember that I am enough 💛 we got dis! Hoping all ya had a great day!
  • This little dude. He's so prescious but man when his emotions hit, I just feel like bawling with him! Today was my first day home after a week in the psych unit..it was hard not gunna lie. I dealt with a lot of general anxiety and then by 8 pm all I wanted to do was pass out. Hoping tomorrow is a bit better 🤞Doing my best over here. Trying to remember that I am enough 💛 we got dis! Hoping all ya had a great day!

  •  15  3  2 hours ago
  • A BIG shout out ❤️to all healthcare workers doing such an amazing job! #shoutout

Feeling a bit battered 🤒 after emergency 🚨 surgery (non-corona related) earlier today @northernbeacheshospitalsydney & I couldn’t be more thankful for the work, care & kindness from all the nurses & doctors who looked after me.

The work they do for unplanned, urgent cases like myself is amazing🤩 even amongst all the chaos going on right now.

A worrying, stressful time & yet I have come out feeling grateful🙏🏼 & thankful.

Please like⬆️ to show your support❤️ for all those on the front line working so hard to take care of everyone right now!

#gratitude #surgery #doctor 
#healthcare #changeyourlife #healthcareworkers #healthcareheroes #frontline #changeyourmindset #mindset #confidence #edwarrior #recoverywarriors #breakfree #freedom #powerofpositivity #coronavirus #covid19 #selfisolation #lockdown #emergency #doctorsofinstagram #medical #ehlersdanlossyndrome #nurse #nursesofinstagram
  • A BIG shout out ❤️to all healthcare workers doing such an amazing job! #shoutout

    Feeling a bit battered 🤒 after emergency 🚨 surgery (non-corona related) earlier today @northernbeacheshospitalsydney & I couldn’t be more thankful for the work, care & kindness from all the nurses & doctors who looked after me.

    The work they do for unplanned, urgent cases like myself is amazing🤩 even amongst all the chaos going on right now.

    A worrying, stressful time & yet I have come out feeling grateful🙏🏼 & thankful.

    Please like⬆️ to show your support❤️ for all those on the front line working so hard to take care of everyone right now!

    #gratitude #surgery #doctor
    #healthcare #changeyourlife #healthcareworkers #healthcareheroes #frontline #changeyourmindset #mindset #confidence #edwarrior #recoverywarriors #breakfree #freedom #powerofpositivity #coronavirus #covid19 #selfisolation #lockdown #emergency #doctorsofinstagram #medical #ehlersdanlossyndrome #nurse #nursesofinstagram

  •  20  4  2 hours ago
  • TRIGGER WARNING!

I haven't felt well recently. I've had a bulimia relapse and some other problems... And now I haven't been eating for 24 hours. I don't know hiw I've managed to do this.... I had a mental breakdown as always, but that feeling of loneliness and emptiness was... Terrifying. I'm still very lonely, but feel a bit better. ☺

This is photo of my breakfast. It's an oat-banana omelette.
I decided to take my every relapse as a sign that I' m still sick and have to be aware. And take care of myself. 
Now I will just enjoy my breakfast and try not to think about future 😊
Have a good day everyone 
#bulimiarecovery #edwarrior #edawareness #mentalhealthawareness #anorexiarecovery #recovery #newdaynewstart #recoverymeal #fuckbulimia #fuckanorexia #ortorexiarecovery #fuckortorexia #fuckeatingdisorders
  • TRIGGER WARNING!

    I haven't felt well recently. I've had a bulimia relapse and some other problems... And now I haven't been eating for 24 hours. I don't know hiw I've managed to do this.... I had a mental breakdown as always, but that feeling of loneliness and emptiness was... Terrifying. I'm still very lonely, but feel a bit better. ☺

    This is photo of my breakfast. It's an oat-banana omelette.
    I decided to take my every relapse as a sign that I' m still sick and have to be aware. And take care of myself.
    Now I will just enjoy my breakfast and try not to think about future 😊
    Have a good day everyone
    #bulimiarecovery #edwarrior #edawareness #mentalhealthawareness #anorexiarecovery #recovery #newdaynewstart #recoverymeal #fuckbulimia #fuckanorexia #ortorexiarecovery #fuckortorexia #fuckeatingdisorders

  •  6  0  2 hours ago
  • This morning I found a diary entry I wrote just a couple of weeks ago 📖
.
It was a huge long description about how grateful and overjoyed I was every time I payed a bill (complete with love hearts, smiley faces and stars in all the margins and spare spaces 🌟💓😅)
.
No joke, I loved the day my monthly invoices from the various Medical Centres I work from would come in, so much so that I’d look for them in advance when I absolutely knew they weren’t there yet! 🙈🤗
.
It was like when you’re checking your phone for a message from your crush even when you’ve had it right next to you on the highest volume and there’s no way you could possibly have missed the message (no, no one does that, it’s just me? 😉)
.
I’d pay them immediately and then look for who else I could pay. My mentors, supervisors and coaches were my other favourites. With every fibre of my being I enjoyed the process of hitting the transfer button, knowing that was money I had honourably earned being passed on to people who had equally earned it. That is a magical feeling ✨😌🙏👊🏽
.
Now?... well now life has thrown a curved ball (at all of us), I’ve suspended working at one Medical Centre, am seeing less clients in person at others and have switched a lot of clients to online which means I don’t get to do these transfers nearly as often 😢
.
Reading this diary entry was, for me a poignant reminder that in life the only constant is change 👣
.
May we all grow and support one another in new ways through and beyond this change and the ones yet to come because my plan did not account for this, nor I am sure, did yours because the truth is no plan survives first contact with reality 👭👫👬🌍
.
.
.
#growth
  • This morning I found a diary entry I wrote just a couple of weeks ago 📖
    .
    It was a huge long description about how grateful and overjoyed I was every time I payed a bill (complete with love hearts, smiley faces and stars in all the margins and spare spaces 🌟💓😅)
    .
    No joke, I loved the day my monthly invoices from the various Medical Centres I work from would come in, so much so that I’d look for them in advance when I absolutely knew they weren’t there yet! 🙈🤗
    .
    It was like when you’re checking your phone for a message from your crush even when you’ve had it right next to you on the highest volume and there’s no way you could possibly have missed the message (no, no one does that, it’s just me? 😉)
    .
    I’d pay them immediately and then look for who else I could pay. My mentors, supervisors and coaches were my other favourites. With every fibre of my being I enjoyed the process of hitting the transfer button, knowing that was money I had honourably earned being passed on to people who had equally earned it. That is a magical feeling ✨😌🙏👊🏽
    .
    Now?... well now life has thrown a curved ball (at all of us), I’ve suspended working at one Medical Centre, am seeing less clients in person at others and have switched a lot of clients to online which means I don’t get to do these transfers nearly as often 😢
    .
    Reading this diary entry was, for me a poignant reminder that in life the only constant is change 👣
    .
    May we all grow and support one another in new ways through and beyond this change and the ones yet to come because my plan did not account for this, nor I am sure, did yours because the truth is no plan survives first contact with reality 👭👫👬🌍
    .
    .
    .
    #growth

  •  21  1  2 hours ago
  • Today I received my discharge summary from the hospital following my latest admission with again the primary diagnosis of Atypical Anorexia Nervosa. Eating disorders are so difficult to live with, to fight, to relapse, and to recover from. Most of my hospital admissions over the last few years have been for my eating disorder. I just want it to be said that there is so much support out there no matter where in the process you may find yourself or a loved one. There are people out there who want to listen, doctors to provide treatment, support groups full of people to cheer you on. While I’ve battled with food on and off for 17 years I have hope that one day I will be recovered. For now that is not the case and I still struggle but I’m out of hospital and for that I’m so grateful. Please know if you ever need to talk my inbox is open. I want my life to be one looked back upon seeing that there a story of hope and redemption all the way through. One day these days will be a memory and I will do what I can to turn this story into a good one 💕
  • Today I received my discharge summary from the hospital following my latest admission with again the primary diagnosis of Atypical Anorexia Nervosa. Eating disorders are so difficult to live with, to fight, to relapse, and to recover from. Most of my hospital admissions over the last few years have been for my eating disorder. I just want it to be said that there is so much support out there no matter where in the process you may find yourself or a loved one. There are people out there who want to listen, doctors to provide treatment, support groups full of people to cheer you on. While I’ve battled with food on and off for 17 years I have hope that one day I will be recovered. For now that is not the case and I still struggle but I’m out of hospital and for that I’m so grateful. Please know if you ever need to talk my inbox is open. I want my life to be one looked back upon seeing that there a story of hope and redemption all the way through. One day these days will be a memory and I will do what I can to turn this story into a good one 💕

  •  12  3  2 hours ago
  • tried honey on my toast today! i haven't had honey on toast for such a long time & it's so so good 🤤 anyways the circuit breaker measures have been put in place here and we just started home-based learning today 👩‍💻 it's been okay so far but i'm worried that i will get too caught up and overwhelmed by my thoughts if i'm trapped at home all day for the next month 🙃 but i guess i'll just try and cope by going grocery shopping with my dad & i'm glad that my weekly therapy sessions with my psychologist aren't cancelled! 
oh & we ran out of blueberries and other fresh fruit today 😧 we probably have to go out to the supermarket soon to get some fruits & veggies. i wanted to top my toast with more blueberries but that was all we had left 😂
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
dEATS - toast with honey and blueberries
  • tried honey on my toast today! i haven't had honey on toast for such a long time & it's so so good 🤤 anyways the circuit breaker measures have been put in place here and we just started home-based learning today 👩‍💻 it's been okay so far but i'm worried that i will get too caught up and overwhelmed by my thoughts if i'm trapped at home all day for the next month 🙃 but i guess i'll just try and cope by going grocery shopping with my dad & i'm glad that my weekly therapy sessions with my psychologist aren't cancelled!
    oh & we ran out of blueberries and other fresh fruit today 😧 we probably have to go out to the supermarket soon to get some fruits & veggies. i wanted to top my toast with more blueberries but that was all we had left 😂
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    dEATS - toast with honey and blueberries

  •  24  1  3 hours ago
  • In my on going recovery journey, I have learned that even on the days that I don’t like my body, I can still love my body. I try to love it by taking care of it, being kind to it, and finding ways to appreciate my body, in a way that goes beyond its appearance.
⠀
Before I began my recovery journey, I would feel unworthy to care for myself on the days I was having body image issues. I used to think that “self-care” was only acceptable if my body looked a certain way. I would allow myself to carry out eating disorder behaviors, hurt myself with my own thoughts, and just feel completely undeserving because on that day I had an overwhelming feeling of not being good enough, because of my body.
⠀
And those negative body image thoughts are way beyond my actual appearance. Sometimes it’s rooted in an issue that I have been neglecting – sometimes it comes from the feeling of a lack of control. While it’s not always a priority that I try to figure out WHY I am having these thoughts, it is a priority that I try to love my body through it.
⠀
How you love and care for your body will look a little different each day depending on your body’s needs and what’s going on around you.  How you appreciate your body will also look a little different for each person.
⠀
Appreciating all of the amazing things your body can do – from the little things like allowing us to enjoy our favorite scent to major things like helping us get through the day despite the circumstances. Our bodies love us so much, and for that alone I feel it is something to appreciate.
⠀
Thoughts of negative body image can affect anyone regardless of the body they have. The people we surround our self with and the mindset we can learn to have is far more powerful to help beat negative body image days than any form of physical change we try to force on our self.
⠀
You are worthy of self-care, love, and feeling safe in your body. Never forget how worthy you are.
⠀
⠀
#sensiblyyou #haes #healthateverysize #haesig #fatacceptance #bodypositivity #eatingdisorderrecovery #edwarrior #edsoldier #intuitiveeating #pcos #hypothyroidism #bodyacceptance #bodyneutrality #statenisland
  • In my on going recovery journey, I have learned that even on the days that I don’t like my body, I can still love my body. I try to love it by taking care of it, being kind to it, and finding ways to appreciate my body, in a way that goes beyond its appearance.

    Before I began my recovery journey, I would feel unworthy to care for myself on the days I was having body image issues. I used to think that “self-care” was only acceptable if my body looked a certain way. I would allow myself to carry out eating disorder behaviors, hurt myself with my own thoughts, and just feel completely undeserving because on that day I had an overwhelming feeling of not being good enough, because of my body.

    And those negative body image thoughts are way beyond my actual appearance. Sometimes it’s rooted in an issue that I have been neglecting – sometimes it comes from the feeling of a lack of control. While it’s not always a priority that I try to figure out WHY I am having these thoughts, it is a priority that I try to love my body through it.

    How you love and care for your body will look a little different each day depending on your body’s needs and what’s going on around you.  How you appreciate your body will also look a little different for each person.

    Appreciating all of the amazing things your body can do – from the little things like allowing us to enjoy our favorite scent to major things like helping us get through the day despite the circumstances. Our bodies love us so much, and for that alone I feel it is something to appreciate.

    Thoughts of negative body image can affect anyone regardless of the body they have. The people we surround our self with and the mindset we can learn to have is far more powerful to help beat negative body image days than any form of physical change we try to force on our self.

    You are worthy of self-care, love, and feeling safe in your body. Never forget how worthy you are.


    #sensiblyyou #haes #healthateverysize #haesig #fatacceptance #bodypositivity #eatingdisorderrecovery #edwarrior #edsoldier #intuitiveeating #pcos #hypothyroidism #bodyacceptance #bodyneutrality #statenisland

  •  50  2  4 hours ago
  • Sice budou Velikonoce letos úplně jiné, nebo ani nebudou? 🤔
Každopádně to nemění nic na tom, že si to nemůžeme udělat chutné! 🥰
.
Připravila jsem si tohle králičí pečivo(?)! Je to naprosto kouzelné a navíc, pro někoho, kdo je na králicích závislý?! 🐰🐇😍
.
•100 g mouky na chléb
•trochu kypřícího prášku
•sůl
•lžíce olivového oleje
+vlažná voda
.
*Dáme do mísy mouku, sůl, prášek, olej a zamícháme. Pomalu přiléváme vodu a mícháme. Těsto se nesmí extra lepit a ani nesmí být tuhé a trhat se!
Vezmeme kus těsta, vyválíme si “žížalu” a zakroutíme do tvaru, jako je na fotce. Přidáme kuličku, jako ocásek.

Až budeme mít všechny králíčky hotové, potřeme vodou s olejem, můžeme posypat semínky a dáme do trouby -> 30 min na 200° (hlídat a případně nechat méně/déle)
.
————
#dnesjim #dnesjimzdrave #dnesjimvegan #dnessnidam #vegan #vegetarian #vegannataliri #veganfood #anorexierecovery #wholeplantbased #plantbasedfoods #easyandhealthy #anarecovery #edfight #recovery #recoverywin
#recovery #edwarrior #recoverywin 
#anorexiarecovery #fooddiary #anorexianervosarecovery #food #anorexiafighter #fdoe #vegan #healthy #healthyfood #whatiateinaday #easterbunny #easter
  • Sice budou Velikonoce letos úplně jiné, nebo ani nebudou? 🤔
    Každopádně to nemění nic na tom, že si to nemůžeme udělat chutné! 🥰
    .
    Připravila jsem si tohle králičí pečivo(?)! Je to naprosto kouzelné a navíc, pro někoho, kdo je na králicích závislý?! 🐰🐇😍
    .
    •100 g mouky na chléb
    •trochu kypřícího prášku
    •sůl
    •lžíce olivového oleje
    +vlažná voda
    .
    *Dáme do mísy mouku, sůl, prášek, olej a zamícháme. Pomalu přiléváme vodu a mícháme. Těsto se nesmí extra lepit a ani nesmí být tuhé a trhat se!
    Vezmeme kus těsta, vyválíme si “žížalu” a zakroutíme do tvaru, jako je na fotce. Přidáme kuličku, jako ocásek.

    Až budeme mít všechny králíčky hotové, potřeme vodou s olejem, můžeme posypat semínky a dáme do trouby -> 30 min na 200° (hlídat a případně nechat méně/déle)
    .
    ————
    #dnesjim #dnesjimzdrave #dnesjimvegan #dnessnidam #vegan #vegetarian #vegannataliri #veganfood #anorexierecovery #wholeplantbased #plantbasedfoods #easyandhealthy #anarecovery #edfight #recovery #recoverywin
    #recovery #edwarrior #recoverywin
    #anorexiarecovery #fooddiary #anorexianervosarecovery #food #anorexiafighter #fdoe #vegan #healthy #healthyfood #whatiateinaday #easterbunny #easter

  •  66  0  4 hours ago
  • 💕Baking💕
•
•
🎂 My Brother’s Vanilla Birthday Cake 🎂
•
•
This is the cake I baked for my brother’s birthday back in March. I’ve had a passion to bake and cook for a long time. Baking is such a joy for me and I want to eventually pursue a career in it. I love to bake things and then be creative in decorating, it is just so much fun 😍 Back to the cake though, I spent a good amount of time on this cake and some cakes I bake can take up to four hours if not longer. It smelt amazing...he wanted vanilla with this mousse like cream in between the layers...like yum. Did I have a piece? No...my family all loved it and told me how good it was and that I did such a great job...but there I was just watching them eat and enjoy it and I the baker didn’t touch it...so I won’t know how Good it was for myself just what they said..and I wanted a piece so bad. I haven’t ate something that I baked in such a long time...I can’t even remember the last time when I did...how crazy is that??? That is normal or ok guys. My point is this EAT THE CAKE. If you make it eat it! No matter what it is! You put the time and effort into it so EAT and ENJOY it whatever it is!! Even if you don’t make it or it’s just a random normal day eat whatever and enjoy it!! You don’t have to wait for a special occasion to treat yourself!! One of my challenges that I plan on challenging is to bake something and then EAT and ENJOY it. And that will be a huge recovery win when that day comes. I’m not there yet, but each step I make now in recovery is one step closer to that moment when I’m able to challenge that!! ❤️
•
•
#anorexiarecovery #anorexianervosarecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorderawareness #edrecovery #edwarrior #edrecoverywarrior #recovery #recovering #recoveryispossible #recoveryjourney #mystory #myjourney #myrecoveryjourney #neda #community #family #hope #inspirational #daybyday #stepbystep #minutebyminute #bitebybite #survivor #warrior #challenge #keepgoing #pushforward #cake #baking
  • 💕Baking💕


    🎂 My Brother’s Vanilla Birthday Cake 🎂


    This is the cake I baked for my brother’s birthday back in March. I’ve had a passion to bake and cook for a long time. Baking is such a joy for me and I want to eventually pursue a career in it. I love to bake things and then be creative in decorating, it is just so much fun 😍 Back to the cake though, I spent a good amount of time on this cake and some cakes I bake can take up to four hours if not longer. It smelt amazing...he wanted vanilla with this mousse like cream in between the layers...like yum. Did I have a piece? No...my family all loved it and told me how good it was and that I did such a great job...but there I was just watching them eat and enjoy it and I the baker didn’t touch it...so I won’t know how Good it was for myself just what they said..and I wanted a piece so bad. I haven’t ate something that I baked in such a long time...I can’t even remember the last time when I did...how crazy is that??? That is normal or ok guys. My point is this EAT THE CAKE. If you make it eat it! No matter what it is! You put the time and effort into it so EAT and ENJOY it whatever it is!! Even if you don’t make it or it’s just a random normal day eat whatever and enjoy it!! You don’t have to wait for a special occasion to treat yourself!! One of my challenges that I plan on challenging is to bake something and then EAT and ENJOY it. And that will be a huge recovery win when that day comes. I’m not there yet, but each step I make now in recovery is one step closer to that moment when I’m able to challenge that!! ❤️


    #anorexiarecovery #anorexianervosarecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorderawareness #edrecovery #edwarrior #edrecoverywarrior #recovery #recovering #recoveryispossible #recoveryjourney #mystory #myjourney #myrecoveryjourney #neda #community #family #hope #inspirational #daybyday #stepbystep #minutebyminute #bitebybite #survivor #warrior #challenge #keepgoing #pushforward #cake #baking

  •  35  0  4 hours ago
  • 🌷 i want to be good. and do good. and be nice to people. and make people happy. and have good and healthy relationships with people. i want to learn to forgive and i want to understand other people. i want to be loved and adored and i want to love and adore 🌷
  • 🌷 i want to be good. and do good. and be nice to people. and make people happy. and have good and healthy relationships with people. i want to learn to forgive and i want to understand other people. i want to be loved and adored and i want to love and adore 🌷

  •  18  2  4 hours ago
  • Awake, my soul 🍍
  • Awake, my soul 🍍

  •  7  3  5 hours ago
  • You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore glorify God with your body. 🍓
  • You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore glorify God with your body. 🍓

  •  6  1  5 hours ago
  • ❤️FDOE 4.7.20❤️
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
☆ brekkie: pancakes inspired by @caitsgettingstronger !! loved her idea of putting choco egg on top☺️ also had 2 eggs for protein💪
☆ lunch: veggie patty on an everything bagel with spinach and ketchup!
☆ snack: pear and a salted caramel chocolate bar
☆ dinner: chicken cacciatore on rigatoni with squash/zucchini! also had a piece of bread with butter😋
☆ dessert: baskin robbins ice cream!!! so dang good!🤤
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
happy tuesday/wednesday everyone!! bringing this awesome fdoe for you today! i ate so good... and ngl probably gonna eat more before i go to sleep, but i was excited to post this😂
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
i woke up wanting to restrict so bad today, but we all know that’s not an option! so i walked to the store and bought some chocolates as a big “screw you” to ed😁 and beat a big fear of pasta and ice cream tonight!! im super proud, recovery seriously wins y’all...🥰💪
  • ❤️FDOE 4.7.20❤️
    ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
    ☆ brekkie: pancakes inspired by @caitsgettingstronger !! loved her idea of putting choco egg on top☺️ also had 2 eggs for protein💪
    ☆ lunch: veggie patty on an everything bagel with spinach and ketchup!
    ☆ snack: pear and a salted caramel chocolate bar
    ☆ dinner: chicken cacciatore on rigatoni with squash/zucchini! also had a piece of bread with butter😋
    ☆ dessert: baskin robbins ice cream!!! so dang good!🤤
    ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
    happy tuesday/wednesday everyone!! bringing this awesome fdoe for you today! i ate so good... and ngl probably gonna eat more before i go to sleep, but i was excited to post this😂
    ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
    i woke up wanting to restrict so bad today, but we all know that’s not an option! so i walked to the store and bought some chocolates as a big “screw you” to ed😁 and beat a big fear of pasta and ice cream tonight!! im super proud, recovery seriously wins y’all...🥰💪

  •  120  14  5 hours ago
  • When I was on this field 11 years ago I was 30 lbs heavier than I am now. ⁣
⁣
If you’re giving the look of surprise, I wouldn’t be surprised and I’m used to it. ⁣
⁣
I was roughly 170lbs in middle school and I distinctly remembered the day they had to weigh us and I was so embarrassed of the number they told me. I didn’t need to be reminded of how I was using food to cope. My doctor kept telling me to lose weight and a chiropractor even told me flat out that my back hurt because I was fat. You wouldn’t believe how many adults told me “your face and legs are great. It’s just your gut.” Running this track was my worst memory. ⁣
⁣
Since everyone kept saying to lose weight and I was dealing with trauma and stress, boy did I ever. My coping mechanism of food became the thing I feared more than anything. Running became my addiction and I dropped over 70lbs by junior year of high school. A whopping 95lbs of bones and flesh was left. I’d given up on myself and didn’t want to be here. ⁣
⁣
It’s amusing because people still tell me how small I am now and I don’t think they realize just how small I once was. 00/0 were almost too big at times and now my thigh won’t even fit in them. I don’t fear food, I hate running (but I’m doing it because of quarantine lol), and I’m in the best place I’ve ever been in life. Even through all the EDs, trauma, PTSD, anxiety, surgery, and depression I came out on top and stay trying new things and improving my life. ⁣
⁣
Enjoy my leg day from today💪🏼 My legs were shaking by the end when I had to carry all my shit back to the car lol ⁣
⁣
Let me know if you try it and may you remember that if your life isn’t too hot right now, it will get better. Work for it💕
  • When I was on this field 11 years ago I was 30 lbs heavier than I am now. ⁣

    If you’re giving the look of surprise, I wouldn’t be surprised and I’m used to it. ⁣

    I was roughly 170lbs in middle school and I distinctly remembered the day they had to weigh us and I was so embarrassed of the number they told me. I didn’t need to be reminded of how I was using food to cope. My doctor kept telling me to lose weight and a chiropractor even told me flat out that my back hurt because I was fat. You wouldn’t believe how many adults told me “your face and legs are great. It’s just your gut.” Running this track was my worst memory. ⁣

    Since everyone kept saying to lose weight and I was dealing with trauma and stress, boy did I ever. My coping mechanism of food became the thing I feared more than anything. Running became my addiction and I dropped over 70lbs by junior year of high school. A whopping 95lbs of bones and flesh was left. I’d given up on myself and didn’t want to be here. ⁣

    It’s amusing because people still tell me how small I am now and I don’t think they realize just how small I once was. 00/0 were almost too big at times and now my thigh won’t even fit in them. I don’t fear food, I hate running (but I’m doing it because of quarantine lol), and I’m in the best place I’ve ever been in life. Even through all the EDs, trauma, PTSD, anxiety, surgery, and depression I came out on top and stay trying new things and improving my life. ⁣

    Enjoy my leg day from today💪🏼 My legs were shaking by the end when I had to carry all my shit back to the car lol ⁣

    Let me know if you try it and may you remember that if your life isn’t too hot right now, it will get better. Work for it💕

  •  29  3  5 hours ago

Top #edwarrior Posts

  • Just filmed a core workout for all of my Empower ladies! These past two weeks I’ve taught myself a lot. I’ve learnt how to design and write my own wellness E-book and recipe book, I’ve taught myself to use different editing programmes, I’ve learnt how to manage an online coaching app with over 70 woman in it, I’ve learnt how to use a friends top notch camera (honestly the hardest thing out of the whole lot) Im not the most techy person and I hold my hands up and say that I don’t have the greatest amount of self confidence in my own ability and I knock myself down before I start some times but I guess the point I’m trying to make is that, We have the opportunity to LEARN. To GROW. To ADAPT. To view change differently. YES I’m missing my clients like crazy and I’m SO eager to get back into that gym, seeing my clients progress is the why I got into this industry after all.. but don’t be afraid of branching out and sometimes maybe that’s where you will find you truly do have more potential! 💕 PS THANKYOU to each and every one of you who have joined on the App! My heart is SO full xx
  • Just filmed a core workout for all of my Empower ladies! These past two weeks I’ve taught myself a lot. I’ve learnt how to design and write my own wellness E-book and recipe book, I’ve taught myself to use different editing programmes, I’ve learnt how to manage an online coaching app with over 70 woman in it, I’ve learnt how to use a friends top notch camera (honestly the hardest thing out of the whole lot) Im not the most techy person and I hold my hands up and say that I don’t have the greatest amount of self confidence in my own ability and I knock myself down before I start some times but I guess the point I’m trying to make is that, We have the opportunity to LEARN. To GROW. To ADAPT. To view change differently. YES I’m missing my clients like crazy and I’m SO eager to get back into that gym, seeing my clients progress is the why I got into this industry after all.. but don’t be afraid of branching out and sometimes maybe that’s where you will find you truly do have more potential! 💕 PS THANKYOU to each and every one of you who have joined on the App! My heart is SO full xx

  •  113  9  23 hours ago
  • What’s your favorite fruit?😋I love love love berries, especially rasberries and blueberies😻 but I eat dragonfruit and watermelon the most, as it’s local here. What’s local where you’re from?❤️
//
Jaké je vaše nejoblíbenější ovoce? 😋Já miluju miluju miluju maliny a borůvky, ale nejčastěji tady jim dračí ovoce a meloun, protože to tady roste.😻 kdybyste si na zahradě mohli zasadit cokoliv, co by to bylo?
  • What’s your favorite fruit?😋I love love love berries, especially rasberries and blueberies😻 but I eat dragonfruit and watermelon the most, as it’s local here. What’s local where you’re from?❤️
    //
    Jaké je vaše nejoblíbenější ovoce? 😋Já miluju miluju miluju maliny a borůvky, ale nejčastěji tady jim dračí ovoce a meloun, protože to tady roste.😻 kdybyste si na zahradě mohli zasadit cokoliv, co by to bylo?

  •  426  15  6 April, 2020
  • Oats are my favorite food😋 but recently I’ve noticed, that they don’t make me feel very good, and I often have a stomach ache after. So I’m experimenting with eating less and seeing if it affects my stomach. But it’s been hard, because oats are my love😂💔does anyone feel the same?
//
Vločky jsou moje nejoblíbenější jídlo😋ale poslední dobou mě po nich často bolí břicho. Zkouším jich teď jíst méně a uvidíme no🤷🏼‍♀️máte to někdo podobně?
  • Oats are my favorite food😋 but recently I’ve noticed, that they don’t make me feel very good, and I often have a stomach ache after. So I’m experimenting with eating less and seeing if it affects my stomach. But it’s been hard, because oats are my love😂💔does anyone feel the same?
    //
    Vločky jsou moje nejoblíbenější jídlo😋ale poslední dobou mě po nich často bolí břicho. Zkouším jich teď jíst méně a uvidíme no🤷🏼‍♀️máte to někdo podobně?

  •  281  9  21 hours ago
  • The only way to beat the fear is to eat the fear. Pasta, oily veggies, and a larger serving of protein than “necessary” for my meal plan - all huge fears. But I finished my meal and nothing bad happened. Every time you finish a challenge meal, the ED voice gets a little weaker 🙌🏻 #edfighter #edwarrior #edrecovery #recoverywarrior
  • The only way to beat the fear is to eat the fear. Pasta, oily veggies, and a larger serving of protein than “necessary” for my meal plan - all huge fears. But I finished my meal and nothing bad happened. Every time you finish a challenge meal, the ED voice gets a little weaker 🙌🏻 #edfighter #edwarrior #edrecovery #recoverywarrior

  •  123  2  5 April, 2020
  • Hands up if you want food to be EASY 🙋🏻‍♀️🙌🏻⁣
•⁣
•⁣
👉🏻You know those people who can eat what they want and not seem bothered by it? ⁣
👉🏻The ones who can have a few slices of pizza and just move on with their lives? ⁣
👉🏻The people who DON’T feel like food takes up all their brain space? ⁣
👉🏻The ones who are ‘normal eaters’? ⁣
⁣
That can be you, too ✨⁣
⁣
Right now, you probably feel obsessed with food. It’s on your mind what feels like 24/7. It takes up WAY too much of your mental energy- not only the decision itself, but the guilt and shame that comes with making the ‘wrong’ decision. It’s overwhelming 😱⁣
⁣
Even worse, stepping away from that obsession requires you to tackle your relationship with food (and body) from a thousand different perspectives that just feels like way too much to handle 😬 You’ve tried to allow all foods, but you ended up bingeing and feeling even more out of control than before. Where do you even start? It’s messy, and not as simple as just following 10 magic steps.⁣
⁣
Healing your relationship with food and body will have it’s messy moments - but navigating it with someone who understands & can support you through the process can make that mess less stressful and more empowering 🌈⁣
⁣
I help my clients understand their relationship with food from their own unique perspectives (hint: it often isn’t about the food). We work to decode their patterns and challenge their food rules so they can get through the messy middle in a way thats allows them to be comfortable with the discomfort of it all. Most importantly, we make sense of their relationship with their bodies so they can work towards neutrality and acceptance and heal their relationship with food along the way 🥰⁣
⁣
If you’re feeling like your messy middle is causing you increased guilt and you don’t know how to effectively tackle healing your relationship with food and body, click the link in my bio to apply for 1:1 coaching ✨⁣
⁣
⁣
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⁣
  • Hands up if you want food to be EASY 🙋🏻‍♀️🙌🏻⁣
    •⁣
    •⁣
    👉🏻You know those people who can eat what they want and not seem bothered by it? ⁣
    👉🏻The ones who can have a few slices of pizza and just move on with their lives? ⁣
    👉🏻The people who DON’T feel like food takes up all their brain space? ⁣
    👉🏻The ones who are ‘normal eaters’? ⁣

    That can be you, too ✨⁣

    Right now, you probably feel obsessed with food. It’s on your mind what feels like 24/7. It takes up WAY too much of your mental energy- not only the decision itself, but the guilt and shame that comes with making the ‘wrong’ decision. It’s overwhelming 😱⁣

    Even worse, stepping away from that obsession requires you to tackle your relationship with food (and body) from a thousand different perspectives that just feels like way too much to handle 😬 You’ve tried to allow all foods, but you ended up bingeing and feeling even more out of control than before. Where do you even start? It’s messy, and not as simple as just following 10 magic steps.⁣

    Healing your relationship with food and body will have it’s messy moments - but navigating it with someone who understands & can support you through the process can make that mess less stressful and more empowering 🌈⁣

    I help my clients understand their relationship with food from their own unique perspectives (hint: it often isn’t about the food). We work to decode their patterns and challenge their food rules so they can get through the messy middle in a way thats allows them to be comfortable with the discomfort of it all. Most importantly, we make sense of their relationship with their bodies so they can work towards neutrality and acceptance and heal their relationship with food along the way 🥰⁣

    If you’re feeling like your messy middle is causing you increased guilt and you don’t know how to effectively tackle healing your relationship with food and body, click the link in my bio to apply for 1:1 coaching ✨⁣


    ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⁣

  •  391  21  13 hours ago
  • VIRTUAL RECOVERY RETREAT! SAY WHAAAAT?!
.
Last week, we sent out an email to all you warriors asking what you needed help and support with most. And the questions poured in.
.
How do I continue making progress towards recovery under the current circumstances? 😬
.
How do I maintain balance, structure, and a positive routine during this time of quarantine? 😧
.
How do I combat loneliness? 😪
.
How do I manage high anxiety from all the uncertainty and sudden change? 😫
.
How can I be okay with not being able to exercise like I use to and having all my safe foods? 🥺
.
So we took action. 💪
.
Today, we’re opening registration to the Wholehearted Recovery Retreat 💛 It’s free and full of amazing sessions from world renowned food and body experts to inspire and motivate you to stand strong in the face of fear.
.
This 5 day virtual retreat is an offering for you to take time to connect with yourself and the deeper calling of your heart.
.
A lot has changed externally over the past few weeks, and there is no better time then now to check-in internally.
.
We want the Wholehearted Recovery Retreat to be a special experience for you. That's why we’re doing something we've never done before...
.
Grab your FREE pass to get in on all have planned for you. Link in bio to sign up!! 💌
.
.
#recoverywarriors #recoveryretreat #riseup #prorecovery #edrecovery #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #anorexia #anafamily #anafighter #anorexiarecovery #miafamily #bulimiarecovery #bulimia #ednos #bingeeating #edfighters #edwarrior #edfam #healthybodyimage #strong  #recoverywarrior
  • VIRTUAL RECOVERY RETREAT! SAY WHAAAAT?!
    .
    Last week, we sent out an email to all you warriors asking what you needed help and support with most. And the questions poured in.
    .
    How do I continue making progress towards recovery under the current circumstances? 😬
    .
    How do I maintain balance, structure, and a positive routine during this time of quarantine? 😧
    .
    How do I combat loneliness? 😪
    .
    How do I manage high anxiety from all the uncertainty and sudden change? 😫
    .
    How can I be okay with not being able to exercise like I use to and having all my safe foods? 🥺
    .
    So we took action. 💪
    .
    Today, we’re opening registration to the Wholehearted Recovery Retreat 💛 It’s free and full of amazing sessions from world renowned food and body experts to inspire and motivate you to stand strong in the face of fear.
    .
    This 5 day virtual retreat is an offering for you to take time to connect with yourself and the deeper calling of your heart.
    .
    A lot has changed externally over the past few weeks, and there is no better time then now to check-in internally.
    .
    We want the Wholehearted Recovery Retreat to be a special experience for you. That's why we’re doing something we've never done before...
    .
    Grab your FREE pass to get in on all have planned for you. Link in bio to sign up!! 💌
    .
    .
    #recoverywarriors #recoveryretreat #riseup #prorecovery #edrecovery #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #anorexia #anafamily #anafighter #anorexiarecovery #miafamily #bulimiarecovery #bulimia #ednos #bingeeating #edfighters #edwarrior #edfam #healthybodyimage #strong #recoverywarrior

  •  1,384  32  20 hours ago
  • This lockdown got me climin’ the walls like... More seriously though, I believe that being able to make lockdown into a time of nourishment, spaciousness and growth is probably rooted in privilege. Maybe you are just surviving day to day. Maybe your mental health was already struggling and this makes it all harder. Maybe you are appreciating some of the benefits of disruption - no one size fits all. 
However you are, try and find even the tiniest bits of space to care for yourself. Even if that means moving other things around, being creative with your resources, or pushing down walls! 
#yoga #yogapractice #yogapants #yogaeverydamnday #yogainspiration #yogaoutside #lockdownyoga #lockdown #covid_19 #corona #selfcare #mentalhealth #recovery #recoveryispossible #recoveryjourney #mentalhealthawareness #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorderawareness #edwarrior #yogadudes #yogaguys #yogaboy #instayoga #yogagram #namaste #yogachallenge #yogaeverywhere #armbalance #namastebitches
  • This lockdown got me climin’ the walls like... More seriously though, I believe that being able to make lockdown into a time of nourishment, spaciousness and growth is probably rooted in privilege. Maybe you are just surviving day to day. Maybe your mental health was already struggling and this makes it all harder. Maybe you are appreciating some of the benefits of disruption - no one size fits all.
    However you are, try and find even the tiniest bits of space to care for yourself. Even if that means moving other things around, being creative with your resources, or pushing down walls!
    #yoga #yogapractice #yogapants #yogaeverydamnday #yogainspiration #yogaoutside #lockdownyoga #lockdown #covid_19 #corona #selfcare #mentalhealth #recovery #recoveryispossible #recoveryjourney #mentalhealthawareness #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorderawareness #edwarrior #yogadudes #yogaguys #yogaboy #instayoga #yogagram #namaste #yogachallenge #yogaeverywhere #armbalance #namastebitches

  •  278  3  22 hours ago
  • This morning, @actually_alexandra made a post about how being in your ED is like being in your own self-imposed quarantine, and that really resonated with me. When I’m in my ED, I say no to nights out with friends, no to special dinners with family, no to connecting with anyone on a deeper level, all out of fear. Fear that I’m too much, that no one would love the “real me” if they got close to me, that I’m too broken to deserve friendship and fun.

But fuck that! Being in your ED is being is a self-imposed prison, and I’m not willing to lock myself in out of fear anymore. And I’m not waiting until the quarantine is over; I’m connecting now, I’m nourishing myself now, and I’m absorbing the love and care from my people now. Life is too short and tenuous to be stuck in this ED brain any longer.

#edfighter #edwarrior #edrecovery #recoverywarrior #recoveryfighter #anorexiawarrior
  • This morning, @actually_alexandra made a post about how being in your ED is like being in your own self-imposed quarantine, and that really resonated with me. When I’m in my ED, I say no to nights out with friends, no to special dinners with family, no to connecting with anyone on a deeper level, all out of fear. Fear that I’m too much, that no one would love the “real me” if they got close to me, that I’m too broken to deserve friendship and fun.

    But fuck that! Being in your ED is being is a self-imposed prison, and I’m not willing to lock myself in out of fear anymore. And I’m not waiting until the quarantine is over; I’m connecting now, I’m nourishing myself now, and I’m absorbing the love and care from my people now. Life is too short and tenuous to be stuck in this ED brain any longer.

    #edfighter #edwarrior #edrecovery #recoverywarrior #recoveryfighter #anorexiawarrior

  •  160  4  6 April, 2020
  • Project ~GLOW~ underway
.
.
It’s been a hot minute since I made a personal update, so here ‘tis: I’ve surpassed limits I didn’t even know existed and my soul is shining. .
.
I’ve: gained weight, gained interests, gained concentration, gained relationships, gained hobbies and gained hope 🌈🌿
.
.
I’ve reclaimed so many aspects of my life I thought were gone forever 🌸
.
.
I deferred uni for a semester to channel my focus into healing ✨ I cannot exaggerate how thankful I am for directing my energy to seeing myself grow. At the time, I felt as though I had taken a step backwards, but upon reflection, it was a leap towards health 🤍. .
.
I’ve not needed medical intervention for the longest duration in my personal history 🌿 deeming me finally eligible for inpatient treatment to receive Repetitive Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation at the end of this month. I’ve been working towards this goal with my wonderful treatment team for a long time 🕊 I’m proud. .
.
Especially amidst the ever-evolving chaos of the world, I am grateful for the life in my own breath and those around me. .
.
Although I still have my own struggles, they don’t have the same all-consuming nature about them that they used to. I can look to the future with excitement for the prosperity it offers and not dread for what it might hold. .
.
Light is shining through the clouds that once clouded the horizon of my life 🌟 and I’m learning of the truly remarkable beauty that blooms with everyday we grace this earth 🦋 .
.
If you’re out there and you’re struggling; If clouds occupy your vision; hear this: your time will come. Trust in the process. Healing is coming. You will move through this and you will be an enlightened version of your current self. Slowly but surely 🐢 you light will return. .
.
  • Project ~GLOW~ underway
    .
    .
    It’s been a hot minute since I made a personal update, so here ‘tis: I’ve surpassed limits I didn’t even know existed and my soul is shining. .
    .
    I’ve: gained weight, gained interests, gained concentration, gained relationships, gained hobbies and gained hope 🌈🌿
    .
    .
    I’ve reclaimed so many aspects of my life I thought were gone forever 🌸
    .
    .
    I deferred uni for a semester to channel my focus into healing ✨ I cannot exaggerate how thankful I am for directing my energy to seeing myself grow. At the time, I felt as though I had taken a step backwards, but upon reflection, it was a leap towards health 🤍. .
    .
    I’ve not needed medical intervention for the longest duration in my personal history 🌿 deeming me finally eligible for inpatient treatment to receive Repetitive Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation at the end of this month. I’ve been working towards this goal with my wonderful treatment team for a long time 🕊 I’m proud. .
    .
    Especially amidst the ever-evolving chaos of the world, I am grateful for the life in my own breath and those around me. .
    .
    Although I still have my own struggles, they don’t have the same all-consuming nature about them that they used to. I can look to the future with excitement for the prosperity it offers and not dread for what it might hold. .
    .
    Light is shining through the clouds that once clouded the horizon of my life 🌟 and I’m learning of the truly remarkable beauty that blooms with everyday we grace this earth 🦋 .
    .
    If you’re out there and you’re struggling; If clouds occupy your vision; hear this: your time will come. Trust in the process. Healing is coming. You will move through this and you will be an enlightened version of your current self. Slowly but surely 🐢 you light will return. .
    .

  •  488  52  4 April, 2020