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  • Came across this and wanted to share it with you all. •
My eating disorder served a purpose for me. It helped me make it through a lot of tough stuff that I wasn’t ready to deal with. It diverted my attention away from those scary things and gave me a way to have control over something in my life at a time when I felt powerless.
•
At first I didn’t even realize that what I was doing was wrong. But as time went by, I couldn’t deny that my body was ultimately shutting down and I was deteriorating. Walking to class was a struggle. I was scared to walk down steps in fear that my legs would give out. Sleep was a foreign concept to me. And yet I always told myself “I’m fine.”
•
My ED made false promises to me and I always thought that I was the one in control. I thought I could stop whenever I wanted to. I truly believed it was a switch I could flip until my mom put a bowl of pasta in front of me, told me to eat it, and I screamed and cried from panic and anxiety. This was the moment I knew that I had lost all control. It hit me that I never was the one in control.
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That was not too long ago. Today I’m working on getting to the root of my problems. This is so hard for me to do because I’m not someone who likes to share things. I’d rather listen to my friends and give advice than have to be the one who opens up. I’d rather push someone away than have to take that next step and allow them deeper into my life. Eventually I had to sit back and ask myself why. Why am I like this? How can I heal myself? Why do I want to shrink myself and hide?
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The most important relationship I have to mend is the one with myself❤️
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#healthyfood #fitness #healthy #food #healthylifestyle #fit #gym #motivation #workout #health #foodie #fitnessmotivation #bodybuilding #instafood #edrecovery #recovery #anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #mentalhealth #anorexia #anarecovery #ed #edwarrior #mentalhealthawareness #food #prorecovery #eatingdisorder #edfighter
  • Came across this and wanted to share it with you all. •
    My eating disorder served a purpose for me. It helped me make it through a lot of tough stuff that I wasn’t ready to deal with. It diverted my attention away from those scary things and gave me a way to have control over something in my life at a time when I felt powerless.

    At first I didn’t even realize that what I was doing was wrong. But as time went by, I couldn’t deny that my body was ultimately shutting down and I was deteriorating. Walking to class was a struggle. I was scared to walk down steps in fear that my legs would give out. Sleep was a foreign concept to me. And yet I always told myself “I’m fine.”

    My ED made false promises to me and I always thought that I was the one in control. I thought I could stop whenever I wanted to. I truly believed it was a switch I could flip until my mom put a bowl of pasta in front of me, told me to eat it, and I screamed and cried from panic and anxiety. This was the moment I knew that I had lost all control. It hit me that I never was the one in control.

    That was not too long ago. Today I’m working on getting to the root of my problems. This is so hard for me to do because I’m not someone who likes to share things. I’d rather listen to my friends and give advice than have to be the one who opens up. I’d rather push someone away than have to take that next step and allow them deeper into my life. Eventually I had to sit back and ask myself why. Why am I like this? How can I heal myself? Why do I want to shrink myself and hide?

    The most important relationship I have to mend is the one with myself❤️



    #healthyfood #fitness #healthy #food #healthylifestyle #fit #gym #motivation #workout #health #foodie #fitnessmotivation #bodybuilding #instafood #edrecovery #recovery #anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #mentalhealth #anorexia #anarecovery #ed #edwarrior #mentalhealthawareness #food #prorecovery #eatingdisorder #edfighter
  •  5  0  7 minutes ago
  • Just a reminder to anyone that is having body image issues this week. ⁣
You are so much more than a body. Leave your body alone. It keeps you safe and works perfectly every damn day. ⁣
⁣
I am experiencing body loathing and disgust in a major freaking way.  I know that the voices are a familiar trance that had been keeping me company for an entire lifetime but I still believe them. When is this crap going to stop? Grrrr... ⁣🦁
⁣
Im getting curious about the trance though because I want to understand its origin. ⁣
⁣
I know that my mom was in town and the voices get louder when she is around. It’s not her fault, but it’s the story I’ve told myself is that ‘I have to be small and sick to get love’ so now that I’m not super skinny, I feel like I’m not worthy of her love. ⁣
⁣
Ding ding ding. Wow, thanks for letting me talk that out.⁣
⁣
The hateful thoughts that I have directed toward my body make total sense if I subconsciously or an any way believe that my mom’s love would be in jeopardy. ⁣
⁣
For today, I am focusing on separating myself from the thoughts about my thighs, arms and stomach and accepting the way my body is today. As it is. That feels manageable. ⁣
⁣
If you’re struggling, can you do that too? I  promise, it’s not about the body. It’s an emotion I don’t want to feel. And if I want to heal it,,I’ve got to feel it. Right?!?⁣
⁣
Here’s to loving all of you and all of of me. It’s an up and down - this self love journey. We got this! 💕⁣
⁣
  • Just a reminder to anyone that is having body image issues this week. ⁣
    You are so much more than a body. Leave your body alone. It keeps you safe and works perfectly every damn day. ⁣

    I am experiencing body loathing and disgust in a major freaking way. I know that the voices are a familiar trance that had been keeping me company for an entire lifetime but I still believe them. When is this crap going to stop? Grrrr... ⁣🦁

    Im getting curious about the trance though because I want to understand its origin. ⁣

    I know that my mom was in town and the voices get louder when she is around. It’s not her fault, but it’s the story I’ve told myself is that ‘I have to be small and sick to get love’ so now that I’m not super skinny, I feel like I’m not worthy of her love. ⁣

    Ding ding ding. Wow, thanks for letting me talk that out.⁣

    The hateful thoughts that I have directed toward my body make total sense if I subconsciously or an any way believe that my mom’s love would be in jeopardy. ⁣

    For today, I am focusing on separating myself from the thoughts about my thighs, arms and stomach and accepting the way my body is today. As it is. That feels manageable. ⁣

    If you’re struggling, can you do that too? I promise, it’s not about the body. It’s an emotion I don’t want to feel. And if I want to heal it,,I’ve got to feel it. Right?!?⁣

    Here’s to loving all of you and all of of me. It’s an up and down - this self love journey. We got this! 💕⁣
  •  81  3  1 hour ago
  • Every season has its own particular set of assets. Winter brings holiday gatherings and fun with family, spring brings sunshine and more opportunities to be active outdoors. Do your symptoms change with the seasons, and if so, how?
#AlsanaQandA
  • Every season has its own particular set of assets. Winter brings holiday gatherings and fun with family, spring brings sunshine and more opportunities to be active outdoors. Do your symptoms change with the seasons, and if so, how?
    #AlsanaQandA
  •  11  2  1 hour ago
  • Hey there. I have a thesis to write. But I’d rather keep watching impractical jokers. A feel?
Anyway. Breakfast was a banana and a chocolate chocolate chip muffin. Twas delicious. 
Lunch was some mini sandwiches, carrots, grapes , a string cheese, and a chocolate chip cookie. Thanks mom haha. 
Dinner was a stuffed pepper, then a couple halves of mini bundt cakes. Also yummy. 
And yup. Then some sour patch kids later. 
Today didn’t suck as much as my recent days have. I kept myself busy at the store, and people actually came in so I got to do stuff, plus I worked with a coworker for an hour, so that was fun. The school wasn’t bad either, cause it’s the last day before spring break, so ya can’t really be mad. So I feel good. Minus the thesis paper looming over me. Hah. Oh well. 
How has your day been?
  • Hey there. I have a thesis to write. But I’d rather keep watching impractical jokers. A feel?
    Anyway. Breakfast was a banana and a chocolate chocolate chip muffin. Twas delicious.
    Lunch was some mini sandwiches, carrots, grapes , a string cheese, and a chocolate chip cookie. Thanks mom haha.
    Dinner was a stuffed pepper, then a couple halves of mini bundt cakes. Also yummy.
    And yup. Then some sour patch kids later.
    Today didn’t suck as much as my recent days have. I kept myself busy at the store, and people actually came in so I got to do stuff, plus I worked with a coworker for an hour, so that was fun. The school wasn’t bad either, cause it’s the last day before spring break, so ya can’t really be mad. So I feel good. Minus the thesis paper looming over me. Hah. Oh well.
    How has your day been?
  •  167  7  1 hour ago
  • Past birthday inner dialogue: “Okay all eyes are on you, be perfect. Suck in. Don’t indulge until dinner. It’s not a big deal, don’t be selfish. Ugh you have to wear a swimsuit. Don’t allow pictures unless you approve. Just get it over with.”
Current birthday dialogue:
“F*ck yes it’s my birthday!!! Time to celebrate and make a huge deal because I deserve it and it’s my special day! Bathing suits all day, cinnamon role for breakfast, rose all day, fries for lunch and silly pictures on the beach! Just have fun, it’s about time you relax... you deserve it!”
Cheers to another year!! We ALL deserve to celebrate life! #recoveryloveandcare #birthdaygirl👑
  • Past birthday inner dialogue: “Okay all eyes are on you, be perfect. Suck in. Don’t indulge until dinner. It’s not a big deal, don’t be selfish. Ugh you have to wear a swimsuit. Don’t allow pictures unless you approve. Just get it over with.”
    Current birthday dialogue:
    “F*ck yes it’s my birthday!!! Time to celebrate and make a huge deal because I deserve it and it’s my special day! Bathing suits all day, cinnamon role for breakfast, rose all day, fries for lunch and silly pictures on the beach! Just have fun, it’s about time you relax... you deserve it!”
    Cheers to another year!! We ALL deserve to celebrate life! #recoveryloveandcare #birthdaygirl👑
  •  59  9  1 hour ago
  • Recovery is the best choice you could ever make 🌼
  • Recovery is the best choice you could ever make 🌼
  •  231  6  1 hour ago
  • one of my friends wanted to take me to applebees tonight as a late birthday gift. i was terrified, but i accepted and i got a kids meal of chicken tenders and broccoli AND i challenged myself to get a birthday dessert too! once again it was a kids menu dessert but it’s something and i’m beyond proud of myself ♡
  • one of my friends wanted to take me to applebees tonight as a late birthday gift. i was terrified, but i accepted and i got a kids meal of chicken tenders and broccoli AND i challenged myself to get a birthday dessert too! once again it was a kids menu dessert but it’s something and i’m beyond proud of myself ♡
  •  105  14  2 hours ago
  • Desayuno de hoy, un rico plátano verde majado con queso😋. Me gusto mucho aunque se me pasó un poco la sal. Creo que he perdido el miedo a la sal porque ahora la pongo sin problema en los alimentos que lo requieren y no me refiero a ese poco que ni se siente si no a la cantidad adecuada para que el plato sea súper rico. Recuerdo que tenía un temor enorme a pasarme de sal ya que un plato muy salado no me podía permitir comer y por eso casi ni le ponía o no le ponía haciendo de mis comidas un desastre. 
Ya no me afecta tanto, ni se me derrumba el mundo si en una comida le pongo mucha sal porque así pasa y con eso aprendemos a la próxima ponerle la cantidad adecuada.
Hoy por poner mucha sal, no me paso nada y es más estoy tan feliz por hacer comidas que si le gustarán a las personas ya que tendrán buen sabor. 
El miedo a equivocarse quita tantas oportunidades a las personas y es triste ver como muchos de esos miedos son provocados por personas que cada cosa que hacemos mal nos critican, juzgan, amenazan o castigan. Lamentablemente esas personas no ven que somos humanos y no maquinas, no podemos hacer todo en línea recta pero lo que si podemos hacer es intentarlo de nuevo cada vez que nos caigamos ya que aprendemos cosas nuevas que nos van ayudar a ser más fuertes y enfrentar de nuevo la situación. 
Tenemos la costumbre de olvidar por completo que ese momento malo va a pasar y que nuestro ánimo es solo temporal así que el mundo no se acaba ni se detiene por eso. Hay que aprender aceptar la situación y seguir con la vida tratando de escoger las mejores opciones para superar el momento pero por favor no piensen que la vida se apago porque hay tanto tiempo para cambiar ese pensamiento ❤️. #edrecovery #recovery #edwarrior #recovering #edrecovering #anorexiafighter #anorexiarecovering #edrecovering #anorexiawarrior #edfighter #edfight #anorexiafighter #fuckanorexianervosa #recoverywarrior
  • Desayuno de hoy, un rico plátano verde majado con queso😋. Me gusto mucho aunque se me pasó un poco la sal. Creo que he perdido el miedo a la sal porque ahora la pongo sin problema en los alimentos que lo requieren y no me refiero a ese poco que ni se siente si no a la cantidad adecuada para que el plato sea súper rico. Recuerdo que tenía un temor enorme a pasarme de sal ya que un plato muy salado no me podía permitir comer y por eso casi ni le ponía o no le ponía haciendo de mis comidas un desastre.
    Ya no me afecta tanto, ni se me derrumba el mundo si en una comida le pongo mucha sal porque así pasa y con eso aprendemos a la próxima ponerle la cantidad adecuada.
    Hoy por poner mucha sal, no me paso nada y es más estoy tan feliz por hacer comidas que si le gustarán a las personas ya que tendrán buen sabor.
    El miedo a equivocarse quita tantas oportunidades a las personas y es triste ver como muchos de esos miedos son provocados por personas que cada cosa que hacemos mal nos critican, juzgan, amenazan o castigan. Lamentablemente esas personas no ven que somos humanos y no maquinas, no podemos hacer todo en línea recta pero lo que si podemos hacer es intentarlo de nuevo cada vez que nos caigamos ya que aprendemos cosas nuevas que nos van ayudar a ser más fuertes y enfrentar de nuevo la situación.
    Tenemos la costumbre de olvidar por completo que ese momento malo va a pasar y que nuestro ánimo es solo temporal así que el mundo no se acaba ni se detiene por eso. Hay que aprender aceptar la situación y seguir con la vida tratando de escoger las mejores opciones para superar el momento pero por favor no piensen que la vida se apago porque hay tanto tiempo para cambiar ese pensamiento ❤️. #edrecovery #recovery #edwarrior #recovering #edrecovering #anorexiafighter #anorexiarecovering #edrecovering #anorexiawarrior #edfighter #edfight #anorexiafighter #fuckanorexianervosa #recoverywarrior
  •  52  6  2 hours ago
  • Buenas noches! 🌙 ya se va acabando el día y yo mientras tanto les entretengo un rato contándoles sobre mi merienda...
Hoy en la mañana, muy cerca ya del mediodía me llega un mensaje que proponía una juntada de amigas imprevista. Me llené de miedo, la espontaneidad de la situación me generó un montón de preguntas, tales como: habrá algo para mi? Y que voy a hacer si todas quieren ir a Starbucks? 
Dudosa acepté, primero averigüé en un par de locales de comida que sabía que se encontraban allí por Pedidos Ya o Rappi, viendo que si tenían opciones de Yogurt y demás. 
Cuando llegó la hora claramente todas quisieron ir a Starbucks tal y como lo supuse, me calmé y les dije que quería otra cosa. Me dirigí a Green&Company mostrándole a la empleada de la caja la alternativa de Yogurt con granola que ofrecían, está me respondió que ese menú era exclusivo de la sucursal de Devoto. Me asusté pero al calmarme fui a @labrioche_doree donde sabía que tenían un Yogurt del estilo. Al verlo no le tentó para nada, pero no tenía escapatoria. Lo pedí y comí esto:
• “Verrine yogurt de frutilla”: dulce de frambuesas, Mousse de yogurt de frutilla y granola.
• Melón que venía en las frutas de estación.

Decepcionada es la palabra, Verrine muy poco sabrosa, carente de sabor y textura aireada como promete pero demasiado blanda a la vez. Fruta correcta y granola adecuada también.
Me siento muy culpable porque creo que desperdicié calorías en mierda💕
En un rato respondo los tells
\\\\\\\
⭐️//PREGUNTA\\⭐️
Fuiste alguna vez a @labrioche_doree ? Si es así, que pediste? 
_____________
#anorexianerviosa #anarecovery #anorexiarecovery #edfighter #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatforlife #eatingdisorder #fight #fightforrecovery #beatingana #beatana #fuckana #fuckyouana #fearfood #foodstagram #foodporn #eat #beatinganorexia #nomeloprohibo #nodiet #nofit #bodyrecovery #body #norestrictions #recoverywin
#icecream #yogurt #cupcakes #pastries
  • Buenas noches! 🌙 ya se va acabando el día y yo mientras tanto les entretengo un rato contándoles sobre mi merienda...
    Hoy en la mañana, muy cerca ya del mediodía me llega un mensaje que proponía una juntada de amigas imprevista. Me llené de miedo, la espontaneidad de la situación me generó un montón de preguntas, tales como: habrá algo para mi? Y que voy a hacer si todas quieren ir a Starbucks?
    Dudosa acepté, primero averigüé en un par de locales de comida que sabía que se encontraban allí por Pedidos Ya o Rappi, viendo que si tenían opciones de Yogurt y demás.
    Cuando llegó la hora claramente todas quisieron ir a Starbucks tal y como lo supuse, me calmé y les dije que quería otra cosa. Me dirigí a Green&Company mostrándole a la empleada de la caja la alternativa de Yogurt con granola que ofrecían, está me respondió que ese menú era exclusivo de la sucursal de Devoto. Me asusté pero al calmarme fui a @labrioche_doree donde sabía que tenían un Yogurt del estilo. Al verlo no le tentó para nada, pero no tenía escapatoria. Lo pedí y comí esto:
    • “Verrine yogurt de frutilla”: dulce de frambuesas, Mousse de yogurt de frutilla y granola.
    • Melón que venía en las frutas de estación.

    Decepcionada es la palabra, Verrine muy poco sabrosa, carente de sabor y textura aireada como promete pero demasiado blanda a la vez. Fruta correcta y granola adecuada también.
    Me siento muy culpable porque creo que desperdicié calorías en mierda💕
    En un rato respondo los tells
    \\\\\\\
    ⭐️//PREGUNTA\\⭐️
    Fuiste alguna vez a @labrioche_doree ? Si es así, que pediste?
    _____________
    #anorexianerviosa #anarecovery #anorexiarecovery #edfighter #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatforlife #eatingdisorder #fight #fightforrecovery #beatingana #beatana #fuckana #fuckyouana #fearfood #foodstagram #foodporn #eat #beatinganorexia #nomeloprohibo #nodiet #nofit #bodyrecovery #body #norestrictions #recoverywin
    #icecream #yogurt #cupcakes #pastries
  •  50  1  3 hours ago
  • Maybe there is light 💡
  • Maybe there is light 💡
  •  34  1  3 hours ago
  • Dinner tonight, post workout, was vegetable soup and a panini with tofu and black bean spread. .
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Earlier today I challenged my fear of having carbs back to back by having oats for breakfast and homemade banana bread as part of lunch. And let me tell y’all something.... CARBS ARE GODSENT. My workout was literally 1000x better than normal, my mood was better, and my belly happier. I can’t believe our minds trick us into thinking they’re bad for us, when actually they give us energy we need. Anorexia can kick my ass if it thinks I’m gonna waste anymore of my life being scared of them, and that folks is today’s tea.
  • Dinner tonight, post workout, was vegetable soup and a panini with tofu and black bean spread. .
    .
    .
    Earlier today I challenged my fear of having carbs back to back by having oats for breakfast and homemade banana bread as part of lunch. And let me tell y’all something.... CARBS ARE GODSENT. My workout was literally 1000x better than normal, my mood was better, and my belly happier. I can’t believe our minds trick us into thinking they’re bad for us, when actually they give us energy we need. Anorexia can kick my ass if it thinks I’m gonna waste anymore of my life being scared of them, and that folks is today’s tea.
  •  11  1  4 hours ago
  • Who was your body positive role model when you were growing up? Let us know below ⬇️
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Conversely, did anyone promote body negativity in your life? Let’s talk about it!
  • Who was your body positive role model when you were growing up? Let us know below ⬇️
    .
    Conversely, did anyone promote body negativity in your life? Let’s talk about it!
  •  75  1  4 hours ago
  • New muffin to try 🙌😬 morning tea was half a banana and date! Nothing naughty muffin 😋 it was really good though the dates and banana + banana chips were a bit overwhelming but still managed 👍💪
  • New muffin to try 🙌😬 morning tea was half a banana and date! Nothing naughty muffin 😋 it was really good though the dates and banana + banana chips were a bit overwhelming but still managed 👍💪
  •  59  2  5 hours ago
  • Just out here recovering day by day. Thanks to everyone who believed in me when I couldn't believe in myself. It has been one hell of a journey but after a long debate on wanting to recover I'm proud to say I fought for my life in a war against myself and slowly started winning.  #recovering #anorexiarecovery #edfighter #gaininglifenotlbs #youcandoittoo
  • Just out here recovering day by day. Thanks to everyone who believed in me when I couldn't believe in myself. It has been one hell of a journey but after a long debate on wanting to recover I'm proud to say I fought for my life in a war against myself and slowly started winning. #recovering #anorexiarecovery #edfighter #gaininglifenotlbs #youcandoittoo
  •  28  3  5 hours ago