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Latest #conflictresolution Posts

  • One benefit of working with me is I help my clients Nip poor or toxic workplace communications in the bud. 
Many people I work with are able to have authentic communication, effective communication, communication that resolves conflict
#communication #conflictresolution #workproblems
  • @iam_william_brown Profile picture

    @iam_william_brown

    One benefit of working with me is I help my clients Nip poor or toxic workplace communications in the bud.
    Many people I work with are able to have authentic communication, effective communication, communication that resolves conflict
    #communication #conflictresolution #workproblems

  •  0  0  54 minutes ago
  • REMINDER: Join our next two day CoResolve Leadership training in JHB on 19 & 20 SEPTEMBER 2019.

If you would like to find out more, including prices, please email jenny@shine.global

MORE ABOUT SHINE www.shine.global
We believe that people, like diamonds, all have the potential to shine; and it is through the pressure and friction of being in healthy relationships that we become our best authentic selves. When people’s relationships work, then they shine. In order for relationships to work, you need to constantly work at them, and this is our area of expertise. We work with the whole person, in the organisational context across all of life’s domains: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. We create safe spaces for people and teams to grow.

hashtag#relationships hashtag#leadership hashtag#decisionmaking hashtag#training hashtag#teamwork hashtag#workshop hashtag#conflictresolution hashtag#personaldevelopment
  • @shine_consulting Profile picture

    @shine_consulting

    Johannesburg

    REMINDER: Join our next two day CoResolve Leadership training in JHB on 19 & 20 SEPTEMBER 2019.

    If you would like to find out more, including prices, please email jenny@shine.global

    MORE ABOUT SHINE www.shine.global
    We believe that people, like diamonds, all have the potential to shine; and it is through the pressure and friction of being in healthy relationships that we become our best authentic selves. When people’s relationships work, then they shine. In order for relationships to work, you need to constantly work at them, and this is our area of expertise. We work with the whole person, in the organisational context across all of life’s domains: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. We create safe spaces for people and teams to grow.

    hashtag #relationships hashtag #leadership hashtag #decisionmaking hashtag #training hashtag #teamwork hashtag #workshop hashtag #conflictresolution hashtag #personaldevelopment

  •  1  0  4 hours ago
  • In the heat of an argument with your spouse, it can be easy to let harsh words spill out. But don’t add fuel to the flame— instead, focus on relational resolution.
  • @heart4families Profile picture

    @heart4families

    In the heat of an argument with your spouse, it can be easy to let harsh words spill out. But don’t add fuel to the flame— instead, focus on relational resolution.

  •  4  1  4 hours ago
  • A lot of people are experiencing things and people falling away in their life right now. ⁣
⁣
Whether they thought they were ready or not. ⁣
⁣
It feels like a lot of huge change is happening.⁣
⁣
And rather than losing things or people that I felt were important to me...⁣
⁣
I’m just saying they are being rearranged my solar system right now.⁣
⁣
Wishing you all only the best in perspective and heart,⁣
June ⁣
  • @junesyndesi Profile picture

    @junesyndesi

    West Sedona, Arizona

    A lot of people are experiencing things and people falling away in their life right now. ⁣

    Whether they thought they were ready or not. ⁣

    It feels like a lot of huge change is happening.⁣

    And rather than losing things or people that I felt were important to me...⁣

    I’m just saying they are being rearranged my solar system right now.⁣

    Wishing you all only the best in perspective and heart,⁣
    June ⁣

  •  5  1  5 hours ago
  • Control is our way of keeping safe. There is a false assumption that if we are perfect, if we can predict with greater certainty, that we can stay safe. That we can remain comfortable.
🌪
Yet in nature, there is no true safety. Not one that is infinite and certain. In fact, we can predict with 99.99999 percent certainty the sun will rise tomorrow. But what if it didn’t? There is a possibility, however small, that isn’t the case.
🌪
Now in the context of relationships, there are three needs that must be met:
1 my needs
2 your needs
3 the relationships needs
🌪
It’s assumed that in a healthy relationship that is well differentiated, I can accept that your needs are as important as mine. However, in a controlling relationship, we want our needs and our relationship needs met BEFORE our partner.  It implies: “my wants and desires supersede yours. I need you to show up for me before yourself.”
🌪
How batshit crazy is that though?? We’ve all felt it: someone who wants their needs met before you. How sucky does that feel? It feels horrible. It indicates emotional fusion and poor boundaries in your ability to take ownership for your own needs.
🌪
We must learn to love and surrender to ourselves. To learn how to trust ourselves to make the right decisions for us. We can only do that when we practice making decisions for ourselves and honouring them, above sacrificing our own needs for the needs of others. In doing this for other people, we are avoiding our ability to nurture our needs and self-validate. This is how we build self esteem and feelings of self worth.
🌪
So how do you practice surrender? Comment below! 👇👇👇
  • @amandarassam Profile picture

    @amandarassam

    Control is our way of keeping safe. There is a false assumption that if we are perfect, if we can predict with greater certainty, that we can stay safe. That we can remain comfortable.
    🌪
    Yet in nature, there is no true safety. Not one that is infinite and certain. In fact, we can predict with 99.99999 percent certainty the sun will rise tomorrow. But what if it didn’t? There is a possibility, however small, that isn’t the case.
    🌪
    Now in the context of relationships, there are three needs that must be met:
    1 my needs
    2 your needs
    3 the relationships needs
    🌪
    It’s assumed that in a healthy relationship that is well differentiated, I can accept that your needs are as important as mine. However, in a controlling relationship, we want our needs and our relationship needs met BEFORE our partner. It implies: “my wants and desires supersede yours. I need you to show up for me before yourself.”
    🌪
    How batshit crazy is that though?? We’ve all felt it: someone who wants their needs met before you. How sucky does that feel? It feels horrible. It indicates emotional fusion and poor boundaries in your ability to take ownership for your own needs.
    🌪
    We must learn to love and surrender to ourselves. To learn how to trust ourselves to make the right decisions for us. We can only do that when we practice making decisions for ourselves and honouring them, above sacrificing our own needs for the needs of others. In doing this for other people, we are avoiding our ability to nurture our needs and self-validate. This is how we build self esteem and feelings of self worth.
    🌪
    So how do you practice surrender? Comment below! 👇👇👇

  •  21  1  6 hours ago
  • Hear this.
·
·
#BeTeachable - As you climb we ALL must never lose our ability to be open to sharpening. ·
·
Creating dialogue increases the likelihood an error is understood as an error. ✨
·
·
There's no profit in competing with members of the same suppressed group. #Win & Shine together! ✨
·
If you find value in God (placed appropriately FIRST in your life) -- as you strive, vitriolic perspectives in others within YOUR #workplace or industry would rarely be seen or valued.
·
You'd see #LIGHT.
Get out of that dark cave -- pull others out as you elevate as well.
·
·
#Purpose #Work #ConflictResolution #IronSharpensIron #Promotion #360Feedback #ISOP
  • @newcareerwhodis Profile picture

    @newcareerwhodis

    Hear this.
    ·
    ·
    #BeTeachable - As you climb we ALL must never lose our ability to be open to sharpening. ·
    ·
    Creating dialogue increases the likelihood an error is understood as an error. ✨
    ·
    ·
    There's no profit in competing with members of the same suppressed group. #Win & Shine together! ✨
    ·
    If you find value in God (placed appropriately FIRST in your life) -- as you strive, vitriolic perspectives in others within YOUR #workplace or industry would rarely be seen or valued.
    ·
    You'd see #LIGHT.
    Get out of that dark cave -- pull others out as you elevate as well.
    ·
    ·
    #Purpose #Work #ConflictResolution #IronSharpensIron #Promotion #360Feedback #ISOP

  •  1  0  6 hours ago

Top #conflictresolution Posts

  • The Gottman-Rapoport technique is a helpful template for couples to work through conflict. The initial goal for the conflict discussion is for each partner to understand the other’s position on the topic.
.
You’ll know that you have an understanding of your partner’s perspective when you can summarize it back to them to their satisfaction.
.
Choose one conflict subject at a time. Take turns being the speaker and listener.
.
When you’re the speaker:
.
➰Talk about your own feelings and perspective.
➰Use “I” statements.
➰State your positive need (what you DO need, not what you don’t need).
➰Avoid the use of criticism, contempt, or blame.
.
When you’re the listener:
.
➰Postpone your own agenda.
➰Manage defensiveness and stonewalling (shutting down/emotional flooding).
➰You might take notes so that you can summarize your partner’s perspective and recall what they shared with you.
➰Provide validation and empathy.
.
A note about validation. Validation does not mean that you agree wholeheartedly with your partner’s perspective. Validation communicates that you can see where they’re coming from.
.
To learn more about the Gottman-Rapoport technique, consider reading the book, What Makes Love Last? by Dr. John Gottman and Nan Silver.
.
Scroll ➡️ for the rules.
.
#conflict #conflictresolution #conflictmanagement #gottmaninstitute #gottman #gottmanmethod #johngottman #speaker #listener #listening #validate #validation #fourhorseman #couples #relationships #marriage #couplestherapy #maritaltherapy #couplestherapist #counseling #strategies #therapy #therapist #mentalhealth #communication #communicate
  • @drlaurenfogelmersy Profile picture

    @drlaurenfogelmersy

    The Gottman-Rapoport technique is a helpful template for couples to work through conflict. The initial goal for the conflict discussion is for each partner to understand the other’s position on the topic.
    .
    You’ll know that you have an understanding of your partner’s perspective when you can summarize it back to them to their satisfaction.
    .
    Choose one conflict subject at a time. Take turns being the speaker and listener.
    .
    When you’re the speaker:
    .
    ➰Talk about your own feelings and perspective.
    ➰Use “I” statements.
    ➰State your positive need (what you DO need, not what you don’t need).
    ➰Avoid the use of criticism, contempt, or blame.
    .
    When you’re the listener:
    .
    ➰Postpone your own agenda.
    ➰Manage defensiveness and stonewalling (shutting down/emotional flooding).
    ➰You might take notes so that you can summarize your partner’s perspective and recall what they shared with you.
    ➰Provide validation and empathy.
    .
    A note about validation. Validation does not mean that you agree wholeheartedly with your partner’s perspective. Validation communicates that you can see where they’re coming from.
    .
    To learn more about the Gottman-Rapoport technique, consider reading the book, What Makes Love Last? by Dr. John Gottman and Nan Silver.
    .
    Scroll ➡️ for the rules.
    .
    #conflict #conflictresolution #conflictmanagement #gottmaninstitute #gottman #gottmanmethod #johngottman #speaker #listener #listening #validate #validation #fourhorseman #couples #relationships #marriage #couplestherapy #maritaltherapy #couplestherapist #counseling #strategies #therapy #therapist #mentalhealth #communication #communicate

  •  1,712  18  4 July, 2019
  • There are a few preventative measures all you legends looking for love can take to avoid the potential land mines of woundmate connections. 
The first being- DO. YOUR. WORK. 
Learn yourself, get familiar with your relational patterns. Be honest about your communication skills (*note* if you’ve ever had a persistent complaint of past partners being shitty communicators, bad listeners, not “getting” you etc...then it’s likely there are a few communication and emotional intimacy tools you can add to your toolbox to either be more effective or fine tune your discernment to filter out people who are legit shit at communicating who will indeed be a relational nightmare to be with). Out your shadow material to yourself (the stuff you don’t like to admit about yourself that is there whether you acknowledge or deny it? The stuff that feels gross to admit. The stuff in the blind spot that comes out in projection, criticism and complaints- ya all that stuff is your shadow material and it will hijack your relationships if you’re not aware and working with it more intentionally). The second thing you can do is pump the brakes on the fast tracking relationships, slow down your vetting process and PAY ATTENTION to the REALITY of who someone is not the FANTASY you want them to be. 
Part of this reality check includes knowing how they navigate extreme stress and how they do conflict. 
It is always my recommendation that people hang tight on officially committing to a relationship until they see who they personally become in conflict with this person (is it a compatible attachment system pairing or is it a terrible one that causes you to become someone you don’t recognize in conflict?) and who the other person becomes in conflict. 
How do they navigate challenges, stress and conflict tells you everything about how a life with them could be. 
If they dismiss, avoid, run away, criticism, stonewall, character attack, blame, turn verbally abusive...that shit isn’t going to change once you’re in a relationship. But it will intensify. 
When you know what you’re dealing with and if it works for you before official committing you save so much drama down the line!
  • @radicalselflove Profile picture

    @radicalselflove

    Canada Vancouver

    There are a few preventative measures all you legends looking for love can take to avoid the potential land mines of woundmate connections.
    The first being- DO. YOUR. WORK.
    Learn yourself, get familiar with your relational patterns. Be honest about your communication skills (*note* if you’ve ever had a persistent complaint of past partners being shitty communicators, bad listeners, not “getting” you etc...then it’s likely there are a few communication and emotional intimacy tools you can add to your toolbox to either be more effective or fine tune your discernment to filter out people who are legit shit at communicating who will indeed be a relational nightmare to be with). Out your shadow material to yourself (the stuff you don’t like to admit about yourself that is there whether you acknowledge or deny it? The stuff that feels gross to admit. The stuff in the blind spot that comes out in projection, criticism and complaints- ya all that stuff is your shadow material and it will hijack your relationships if you’re not aware and working with it more intentionally). The second thing you can do is pump the brakes on the fast tracking relationships, slow down your vetting process and PAY ATTENTION to the REALITY of who someone is not the FANTASY you want them to be.
    Part of this reality check includes knowing how they navigate extreme stress and how they do conflict.
    It is always my recommendation that people hang tight on officially committing to a relationship until they see who they personally become in conflict with this person (is it a compatible attachment system pairing or is it a terrible one that causes you to become someone you don’t recognize in conflict?) and who the other person becomes in conflict.
    How do they navigate challenges, stress and conflict tells you everything about how a life with them could be.
    If they dismiss, avoid, run away, criticism, stonewall, character attack, blame, turn verbally abusive...that shit isn’t going to change once you’re in a relationship. But it will intensify.
    When you know what you’re dealing with and if it works for you before official committing you save so much drama down the line!

  •  2,739  77  8 July, 2019
  • Self care is so much more than lush bubble baths. It’s also consists of you doing something for you such as speaking up about an issue that you have been avoiding. It’s important to acknowledge your own avoidance behaviors in order to heal. I’ve been speaking a lot about avoidance lately because it’s a huge issue with us getting stuck in our comfort zones. If we think that there is no point to stand up for ourselves then we get resentful and frustrated. Question the excuses that you feed yourself. Instead speak to yourself from a place of honesty.
  • @theblacksheepsurvives Profile picture

    @theblacksheepsurvives

    The Woodlands, Texas

    Self care is so much more than lush bubble baths. It’s also consists of you doing something for you such as speaking up about an issue that you have been avoiding. It’s important to acknowledge your own avoidance behaviors in order to heal. I’ve been speaking a lot about avoidance lately because it’s a huge issue with us getting stuck in our comfort zones. If we think that there is no point to stand up for ourselves then we get resentful and frustrated. Question the excuses that you feed yourself. Instead speak to yourself from a place of honesty.

  •  898  20  19 June, 2019
  • After conflict comes up with our kids (or anyone really) it can be hard to know what to say to make them feel better and make us feel better. Here’s some examples of helping mend the relationship after conflict in a way that doesn’t necessarily mean we agree with the other person, but is supportive and will help you grow together through conflict instead of apart.💖
  • @ourmamavillage Profile picture

    @ourmamavillage

    After conflict comes up with our kids (or anyone really) it can be hard to know what to say to make them feel better and make us feel better. Here’s some examples of helping mend the relationship after conflict in a way that doesn’t necessarily mean we agree with the other person, but is supportive and will help you grow together through conflict instead of apart.💖

  •  823  21  7 June, 2019
  • The seed for my self-trust was planted after two adult friendships ended suddenly; there was no conscious uncoupling, no honouring of our bond, or the promises we had made each other.

I was shocked at how deep these ‘sister-wounds’ cut, how confused and betrayed and tender this left me feeling, for years.

But out of that grief came the recognition that I was also grieving for their belief in me.

I realised that I could treat myself with the respect and love and encouragement I was missing.

And from me, it could be truly unconditional, I could make room for disappointment and conflict as well as success and joy.

Self-trust means having my own back. Me, myself and I are in this together.

Other people can judge, criticise or reject me, but I never do that to me. I am my soft place to land. I am my own biggest cheerleader.

And this isn’t a deluded ‘everything is awesome!’ kind of support - it’s robust. I am always thinking critically about how I am doing, seeing where I could be braver, where I am learning.

It means that whatever happens, I will never abandon myself.
  • @saspetherick Profile picture

    @saspetherick

    The seed for my self-trust was planted after two adult friendships ended suddenly; there was no conscious uncoupling, no honouring of our bond, or the promises we had made each other.

    I was shocked at how deep these ‘sister-wounds’ cut, how confused and betrayed and tender this left me feeling, for years.

    But out of that grief came the recognition that I was also grieving for their belief in me.

    I realised that I could treat myself with the respect and love and encouragement I was missing.

    And from me, it could be truly unconditional, I could make room for disappointment and conflict as well as success and joy.

    Self-trust means having my own back. Me, myself and I are in this together.

    Other people can judge, criticise or reject me, but I never do that to me. I am my soft place to land. I am my own biggest cheerleader.

    And this isn’t a deluded ‘everything is awesome!’ kind of support - it’s robust. I am always thinking critically about how I am doing, seeing where I could be braver, where I am learning.

    It means that whatever happens, I will never abandon myself.

  •  645  51  8 June, 2019
  • love protects, my dear. don't brush grenades under the rug, and then be shell-shocked when things blow up again.
.
it feels so much easier to ignore the weaker, more painful sides of people. it's more convenient to ignore the parts that hurt once the tension subsides.
.
i always wondered who the *real* him was-- the one who played nice or the guy who came out when the gloves came off. .
.
the difference is the heart of it. the difference is in the reconciliation. in the ownership. in the confession. the forgiveness. the difference is in the choice: me or us. my good or *our* good.
.
this is love: he who lays down his life for his friend. (john fifteen three)
.
be careful with your heart, my love. it's the only one you've got. .
.
love protects. love protects. love protects. ♥️
  • @subtle.elephants Profile picture

    @subtle.elephants

    *caption

    love protects, my dear. don't brush grenades under the rug, and then be shell-shocked when things blow up again.
    .
    it feels so much easier to ignore the weaker, more painful sides of people. it's more convenient to ignore the parts that hurt once the tension subsides.
    .
    i always wondered who the *real* him was-- the one who played nice or the guy who came out when the gloves came off. .
    .
    the difference is the heart of it. the difference is in the reconciliation. in the ownership. in the confession. the forgiveness. the difference is in the choice: me or us. my good or *our* good.
    .
    this is love: he who lays down his life for his friend. (john fifteen three)
    .
    be careful with your heart, my love. it's the only one you've got. .
    .
    love protects. love protects. love protects. ♥️

  •  508  20  18 April, 2019