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  • SEJARAH HARI INI : 21 MEI 1998
Hari ini tepat 20 tahun silam, 21 Mei 1998, tercatat sebagai salah satu momen penting dalam sejarah bangsa Indonesia. Sebab, pada Kamis pagi itu, Soeharto menyatakan berhenti dari jabatannya sebagai Presiden Republik Indonesia.
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Presiden Soeharto menyatakan mundur setelah berkuasa selama 32 tahun, terhitung sejak dia mendapat "mandat" Surat Perintah 11 Maret 1966.
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Pidato pengunduran diri Soeharto dibacakan di Istana Merdeka sekitar pukul 09.00 WIB.
Dalam pidatonya, Soeharto mengakui bahwa langkah ini dia ambil setelah melihat "perkembangan situasi nasional" saat itu.
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Tuntutan rakyat untuk mengadakan reformasi di segala bidang, terutama permintaan pergantian kepemimpinan nasional, menjadi alasan utama mundurnya Soeharto.
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"Saya memutuskan untuk menyatakan berhenti dari jabatan saya sebagai Presiden Republik Indonesia, terhitung sejak saya bacakan pernyataan ini pada hari ini, kamis 21 Mei 1998," ujar Soeharto, dilansir dari buku Detik-detik yang Menentukan, Jalan Panjang Indonesia Menuju Demokrasi (2006) yang ditulis Bacharuddin Jusuf Habibie.
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Gerakan reformasi merupakan penyebab utama yang menjatuhkan Soeharto dari kekuasaannya. Aksi demonstrasi ini mulai terjadi sejak Soeharto menyatakan bersedia untuk dipilih kembali sebagai presiden setelah Golkar memenangkan Pemilu 1997.
#binjaiyoungstars #indonesia #instagood #photooftheday #beautiful #family #happy #fashion #selfie #cinta #travel #summer #friends #instadaily #love #tagforlikes #jakarta #bali #repost #igers #sejarah #conflict #insta #family #likeforlike #kekinian #instamood #style #nofilter #smiles #reforma
  • SEJARAH HARI INI : 21 MEI 1998
    Hari ini tepat 20 tahun silam, 21 Mei 1998, tercatat sebagai salah satu momen penting dalam sejarah bangsa Indonesia. Sebab, pada Kamis pagi itu, Soeharto menyatakan berhenti dari jabatannya sebagai Presiden Republik Indonesia.
    -----
    Presiden Soeharto menyatakan mundur setelah berkuasa selama 32 tahun, terhitung sejak dia mendapat "mandat" Surat Perintah 11 Maret 1966.
    -----
    Pidato pengunduran diri Soeharto dibacakan di Istana Merdeka sekitar pukul 09.00 WIB.
    Dalam pidatonya, Soeharto mengakui bahwa langkah ini dia ambil setelah melihat "perkembangan situasi nasional" saat itu.
    -----
    Tuntutan rakyat untuk mengadakan reformasi di segala bidang, terutama permintaan pergantian kepemimpinan nasional, menjadi alasan utama mundurnya Soeharto.
    -----
    "Saya memutuskan untuk menyatakan berhenti dari jabatan saya sebagai Presiden Republik Indonesia, terhitung sejak saya bacakan pernyataan ini pada hari ini, kamis 21 Mei 1998," ujar Soeharto, dilansir dari buku Detik-detik yang Menentukan, Jalan Panjang Indonesia Menuju Demokrasi (2006) yang ditulis Bacharuddin Jusuf Habibie.
    -----
    Gerakan reformasi merupakan penyebab utama yang menjatuhkan Soeharto dari kekuasaannya. Aksi demonstrasi ini mulai terjadi sejak Soeharto menyatakan bersedia untuk dipilih kembali sebagai presiden setelah Golkar memenangkan Pemilu 1997.
    #binjaiyoungstars #indonesia #instagood #photooftheday #beautiful #family #happy #fashion #selfie #cinta #travel #summer #friends #instadaily #love #tagforlikes #jakarta #bali #repost #igers #sejarah #conflict #insta #family #likeforlike #kekinian #instamood #style #nofilter #smiles #reforma
  •  10  0  4 minutes ago
  • The College of Europe implemented the second Policy Dialogue of the EU-funded project El-Hiwar II on 4 April in Brussels. The event focused on “Women and Conflict: Diagnosis and Proposals for Action”. The Dialogue brought together EU and LAS officials with representatives from academia, international and national organizations working on gender and women rights. Key conclusions emphasized the need to develop networks of female mediators and support the preparation of National Action Plans for the implementation of UN Resolution 1325 on Women, Peace and  Security.

More: Link in the bio

#elhiwar #dialogue #Women #Conflict #EU #LAS #euproject #coleurope

@europeancommission @eu_near
  • The College of Europe implemented the second Policy Dialogue of the EU-funded project El-Hiwar II on 4 April in Brussels. The event focused on “Women and Conflict: Diagnosis and Proposals for Action”. The Dialogue brought together EU and LAS officials with representatives from academia, international and national organizations working on gender and women rights. Key conclusions emphasized the need to develop networks of female mediators and support the preparation of National Action Plans for the implementation of UN Resolution 1325 on Women, Peace and  Security.

    More: Link in the bio

    #elhiwar #dialogue #Women #Conflict #EU #LAS #euproject #coleurope

    @europeancommission @eu_near
  •  1  0  9 minutes ago
  • Jason and Alisha talk about how to be a PEACE MAKER.
  • Jason and Alisha talk about how to be a PEACE MAKER.
  •  1  1  12 minutes ago

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  • Marawi was once one of the most picturesque cities in the Philippines.

Nearly two years after pro-Islamic State militants took over, about half of it is now charred concrete and skeletons of buildings, the effects of 154 days of air strikes and artillery by the military, and booby traps the rebels laid everywhere to keep them at bay.

My latest work for @reuters Wider Image as the battle for Marawi marks its 2nd anniversary on May 23. #marawi #mindanao #conflict #philippines
  • Marawi was once one of the most picturesque cities in the Philippines.

    Nearly two years after pro-Islamic State militants took over, about half of it is now charred concrete and skeletons of buildings, the effects of 154 days of air strikes and artillery by the military, and booby traps the rebels laid everywhere to keep them at bay.

    My latest work for @reuters Wider Image as the battle for Marawi marks its 2nd anniversary on May 23. #marawi #mindanao #conflict #philippines
  •  89  1  39 minutes ago
  • Negative Nellie? Cynical Chad?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Yep, we know them. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Before you continue banging your head against your desk, try this:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER THEIR BEHAVIOR. You can only control how you respond to it. Ain't easy, but it CAN and NEEDS to be done!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Walk away. Physically remover yourself from the situation. If you can't, focus on YOU and your task at hand.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Get OUT of your own head: or analysis paralysis will set in. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ If you would like to learn more tips & tricks to have a better work experience, schedule a call with me. Link in bio
  • Negative Nellie? Cynical Chad?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
    Yep, we know them. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
    .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
    Before you continue banging your head against your desk, try this:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
    YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER THEIR BEHAVIOR. You can only control how you respond to it. Ain't easy, but it CAN and NEEDS to be done!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
    .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
    Walk away. Physically remover yourself from the situation. If you can't, focus on YOU and your task at hand.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
    .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
    Get OUT of your own head: or analysis paralysis will set in. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
    .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ If you would like to learn more tips & tricks to have a better work experience, schedule a call with me. Link in bio
  •  6  2  40 minutes ago

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  • POLICEMAN, ST ANTHONY’S SHRINE, KOCHCHIKADE, COLOMBO #2
— A policeman walks away from the bomb-damaged St Anthony’s Shrine in Sri Lanka’s capital, Colombo. On 21st April 2019, Easter Sunday, a suicide bomber blew himself up during morning mass, killing over a hundred worshippers. Simultaneous suicide bombings at three churches and three 5-star hotels, all but one in or close to Colombo, killed over 250 people and wounded more than 500. ISIS claimed credit for the terrorist attacks, carried out by an affiliated Sri Lankan extremist Islamic group, the National Thowheed Jamaath (NTJ). The Sri Lankan police and military quickly cracked down on the hitherto little-known NTJ, raiding safehouses and training bases, killing scores and arresting over 75 suspects. Though the bombings targeted Sri Lanka’s small Christian minority and western visitors, it added fuel to the simmering ethnic unrest between the Sinhalese Buddhist majority and the country’s minority Muslims, which has occasionally flared up in the decade since Sri Lanka ended its civil war by defeating the separatist Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam in 2009. This Buddhist-Muslim tension came to a head last year with weeks of violence in the hill city of Kandy in early 2018, when Buddhist mobs looted and burned Muslim homes and businesses. This time, with many in the Sri Lankan public accusing the government of inaction against Muslim extremists, ineptitude, and a lack of leadership, Buddhist mobs once more went on the rampage in towns north and northeast of the capital, forcing the police to declare curfew to stop the violence against Muslim communities. Sri Lanka, May 21st 2019. Licensed to @polarisimages .
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#photojournalism #streetphoto #candidportrait #streetsofcolombo #srilankaattacks #prayforsrilanka #police #terrorism #srilanka #600D #18_200mm
  • POLICEMAN, ST ANTHONY’S SHRINE, KOCHCHIKADE, COLOMBO #2
    — A policeman walks away from the bomb-damaged St Anthony’s Shrine in Sri Lanka’s capital, Colombo. On 21st April 2019, Easter Sunday, a suicide bomber blew himself up during morning mass, killing over a hundred worshippers. Simultaneous suicide bombings at three churches and three 5-star hotels, all but one in or close to Colombo, killed over 250 people and wounded more than 500. ISIS claimed credit for the terrorist attacks, carried out by an affiliated Sri Lankan extremist Islamic group, the National Thowheed Jamaath (NTJ). The Sri Lankan police and military quickly cracked down on the hitherto little-known NTJ, raiding safehouses and training bases, killing scores and arresting over 75 suspects. Though the bombings targeted Sri Lanka’s small Christian minority and western visitors, it added fuel to the simmering ethnic unrest between the Sinhalese Buddhist majority and the country’s minority Muslims, which has occasionally flared up in the decade since Sri Lanka ended its civil war by defeating the separatist Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam in 2009. This Buddhist-Muslim tension came to a head last year with weeks of violence in the hill city of Kandy in early 2018, when Buddhist mobs looted and burned Muslim homes and businesses. This time, with many in the Sri Lankan public accusing the government of inaction against Muslim extremists, ineptitude, and a lack of leadership, Buddhist mobs once more went on the rampage in towns north and northeast of the capital, forcing the police to declare curfew to stop the violence against Muslim communities. Sri Lanka, May 21st 2019. Licensed to @polarisimages .
    .
    #photojournalism #streetphoto #candidportrait #streetsofcolombo #srilankaattacks #prayforsrilanka #police #terrorism #srilanka #600D #18_200mm
  •  13  1  1 hour ago
  • Productive Midlands Mediation Network Management Group Meeting this morning planning future network events.

Why not get involved? Everyone on the the management group volunteers their time, travel expenses are paid and we meet 3 times a year. The Midlands Mediation Network committee are always in need of new ideas & support.

Next event - 19 June in Dudley - “Becoming A Better Mediator”. Book now.

#networks #mediation #mediator #adr #disputeresolution #conflictresolution #business #conflict #training
  • Productive Midlands Mediation Network Management Group Meeting this morning planning future network events.

    Why not get involved? Everyone on the the management group volunteers their time, travel expenses are paid and we meet 3 times a year. The Midlands Mediation Network committee are always in need of new ideas & support.

    Next event - 19 June in Dudley - “Becoming A Better Mediator”. Book now.

    #networks #mediation #mediator #adr #disputeresolution #conflictresolution #business #conflict #training
  •  9  1  1 hour ago
  • 👩‍👧‍👧STAYING at home to raise a child(ren),👶🏾 CARE for an elderly or sick family member is a FULL time job. 🏡 🤷🏽‍♀️How do you prepare for RE-ENTRY into today's JOB market? 👨🏽‍💻1. Stay current with #technology & #training in your field. 👩🏻‍💼2. Regain CONFIDENCE: Hold your head high and don't feel guilty or apologize for the gap in your work. 💌 3. Update WORD GAME on your RESUME!!! Include ALL of the duties, titles & responsibilities while MANAGING your HOME. (📊 #Accounting, Budgeting, #Coach,  #Conflict Resolution, 📅#Planner, #Teacher, #Organizational Management, #Chef, etc.)
4. NETWORK: Actively MAKE calls, schedule IN PERSON meetings with local Chambers, Community Orgs, LinkedIn connections, join social media groups) ASK your network for HELP. ➡️ Return the favor!
5. Connect with a RECRUITER. They are FREE, will critique your resume, offer market statistics,  training resources & JOB SEARCH on your behalf.
6. NEVER leave the interview without asking for the job!  Suggest working on a contract to hire basis. This allows BOTH you & the employer an opportunity to show what each party can bring to the table while determining the potential for a future role. 
7. BE PATIENT. ⚠️ Raising children/family members wasn't always a walk in the park... searching for work might not be either.
  • 👩‍👧‍👧STAYING at home to raise a child(ren),👶🏾 CARE for an elderly or sick family member is a FULL time job. 🏡 🤷🏽‍♀️How do you prepare for RE-ENTRY into today's JOB market? 👨🏽‍💻1. Stay current with #technology & #training in your field. 👩🏻‍💼2. Regain CONFIDENCE: Hold your head high and don't feel guilty or apologize for the gap in your work. 💌 3. Update WORD GAME on your RESUME!!! Include ALL of the duties, titles & responsibilities while MANAGING your HOME. (📊 #Accounting, Budgeting, #Coach, #Conflict Resolution, 📅 #Planner, #Teacher, #Organizational Management, #Chef, etc.)
    4. NETWORK: Actively MAKE calls, schedule IN PERSON meetings with local Chambers, Community Orgs, LinkedIn connections, join social media groups) ASK your network for HELP. ➡️ Return the favor!
    5. Connect with a RECRUITER. They are FREE, will critique your resume, offer market statistics, training resources & JOB SEARCH on your behalf.
    6. NEVER leave the interview without asking for the job! Suggest working on a contract to hire basis. This allows BOTH you & the employer an opportunity to show what each party can bring to the table while determining the potential for a future role.
    7. BE PATIENT. ⚠️ Raising children/family members wasn't always a walk in the park... searching for work might not be either.
  •  8  0  2 hours ago
  • Come tradurre al meglio gli studi e i risultati della ricerca scientifica ai fini dell'informazione ai cittadini, senza rinunciare alla complessità delle questioni che tratta? Il Festival della sostenibilità ambientale, economica e sociale di Pavia è una bella occasione per ragionare anche sul ruolo della scienza nell’informazione. Lo abbiamo fatto martedì scorso, 14 maggio, inaugurando la mostra fotografica “Migranti ambientali: l’ultima illusione” del fotoreporter Alessandro Grassani, che espone fino a domenica 26 maggio a Palazzo Broletto. 
Il prossimo appuntamento con la scienza, l’informazione e l’impegno per il futuro del nostro pianeta sarà per dopodomani, giovedì 23 maggio, alle ore 21 presso l’Aula Disegno dell’Università di Pavia, dove il nostro professor Mario Martina, preside della Classe di Scienze, Tecnologie e Società della Scuola IUSS e docente di Costruzioni Idrauliche, Marittime ed Idrologia (nelle foto insieme ad Alessandro Grassani durante l'inaugurazione), introdurrà la conferenza "La grande crisi climatica e ambientale è tra noi: il coraggio di affrontarla" di Luca Mercalli, climatologo, direttore della rivista Nimbus, presidente della Società Meteorologica Italiana, che sarà a Pavia per parlarci dei grandi cambiamenti ambientali e sociali in atto, e per invitarci a riflettere su un futuro più sostenibile. Moderano la serata Camilla De Luca e Marta Cusa della Divisione Studenti della Coop. Cambiamo, tra i promotori del Festival.
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#climatechange #future #futuro #ambiente #pianeta #cambiamenticlimatici #health #migrazioni #migration #conflict #conflitti #research #ricerca #scienza #science #climatologia #sostenibilità #pavia
  • Come tradurre al meglio gli studi e i risultati della ricerca scientifica ai fini dell'informazione ai cittadini, senza rinunciare alla complessità delle questioni che tratta? Il Festival della sostenibilità ambientale, economica e sociale di Pavia è una bella occasione per ragionare anche sul ruolo della scienza nell’informazione. Lo abbiamo fatto martedì scorso, 14 maggio, inaugurando la mostra fotografica “Migranti ambientali: l’ultima illusione” del fotoreporter Alessandro Grassani, che espone fino a domenica 26 maggio a Palazzo Broletto. 
Il prossimo appuntamento con la scienza, l’informazione e l’impegno per il futuro del nostro pianeta sarà per dopodomani, giovedì 23 maggio, alle ore 21 presso l’Aula Disegno dell’Università di Pavia, dove il nostro professor Mario Martina, preside della Classe di Scienze, Tecnologie e Società della Scuola IUSS e docente di Costruzioni Idrauliche, Marittime ed Idrologia (nelle foto insieme ad Alessandro Grassani durante l'inaugurazione), introdurrà la conferenza "La grande crisi climatica e ambientale è tra noi: il coraggio di affrontarla" di Luca Mercalli, climatologo, direttore della rivista Nimbus, presidente della Società Meteorologica Italiana, che sarà a Pavia per parlarci dei grandi cambiamenti ambientali e sociali in atto, e per invitarci a riflettere su un futuro più sostenibile. Moderano la serata Camilla De Luca e Marta Cusa della Divisione Studenti della Coop. Cambiamo, tra i promotori del Festival.
    .
    .
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    #climatechange #future #futuro #ambiente #pianeta #cambiamenticlimatici #health #migrazioni #migration #conflict #conflitti #research #ricerca #scienza #science #climatologia #sostenibilità #pavia
  •  23  0  2 hours ago
  • "Don't cut, what you can untie...but if you have to, don't hesitate. " © Jiken Trivedi

We often follow some principles in good faith and trust that it will deliver as promised. 
It works most of the time, but there are always exceptions to the rule. 
You must try your best to save the day when tricky situation occurs. Instead of having an emotional reaction to everything ( which happens normally), learn to pause for a moment and try to understand why this has happened and what's the root cause. 
Forming this habit will save you a lot of heartache that occurs from rash decisions taken in the heat of the moment. Most conflicts can be solved with an open and honest conversation - it just takes a little longer but the outcome will be beneficial to all. 
Both parties need to be ready to give in, adjust and compromise. If only one person has to align to the whims of another, it is better to walk out of the situation and cut ties instead of trying to untie.

It sounds harsh and ruthless but when dealing with certain behaviour types, principles work against us and only leads to the creation of further complexities in the future.

#writersofinstagram #wordsofwisdom #wordstoliveby #quotestoliveby #quoteoftheday #instaquotes #deepquotes #relationships #relationshipquotes #relationshipgoals #knot #untie #end #compromise #decisions #conflict #principles #trust #faith #jikentrivedi #rootcause
  • "Don't cut, what you can untie...but if you have to, don't hesitate. " © Jiken Trivedi

    We often follow some principles in good faith and trust that it will deliver as promised.
    It works most of the time, but there are always exceptions to the rule.
    You must try your best to save the day when tricky situation occurs. Instead of having an emotional reaction to everything ( which happens normally), learn to pause for a moment and try to understand why this has happened and what's the root cause.
    Forming this habit will save you a lot of heartache that occurs from rash decisions taken in the heat of the moment. Most conflicts can be solved with an open and honest conversation - it just takes a little longer but the outcome will be beneficial to all.
    Both parties need to be ready to give in, adjust and compromise. If only one person has to align to the whims of another, it is better to walk out of the situation and cut ties instead of trying to untie.

    It sounds harsh and ruthless but when dealing with certain behaviour types, principles work against us and only leads to the creation of further complexities in the future.

    #writersofinstagram #wordsofwisdom #wordstoliveby #quotestoliveby #quoteoftheday #instaquotes #deepquotes #relationships #relationshipquotes #relationshipgoals #knot #untie #end #compromise #decisions #conflict #principles #trust #faith #jikentrivedi #rootcause
  •  7  0  2 hours ago
  • Thank you to those of you that wrote letters and made phone calls. After the House passage of the Global Fragility Act, we’re looking forward to consideration in the Senate!
  • Thank you to those of you that wrote letters and made phone calls. After the House passage of the Global Fragility Act, we’re looking forward to consideration in the Senate!
  •  10  1  3 hours ago
  •  45  3  3 hours ago
  • Dilapidated structures are seen at the most affected war-torn area of Marawi City, Lanao del Sur province, Philippines, May 11, 2019. The area remains abandoned two years since pro-Islamic State militants began their attacks on May 23, 2017. Marawi was once one of the most picturesque cities in the Philippines. About half of it is now charred concrete and skeletons of buildings, the effects of 154 days of air strikes and artillery by the military, and booby traps the rebels laid everywhere to keep them at bay. REUTERS/Eloisa Lopez  #philippines #marawi #reuters #reutersphotos #conflict
  • Dilapidated structures are seen at the most affected war-torn area of Marawi City, Lanao del Sur province, Philippines, May 11, 2019. The area remains abandoned two years since pro-Islamic State militants began their attacks on May 23, 2017. Marawi was once one of the most picturesque cities in the Philippines. About half of it is now charred concrete and skeletons of buildings, the effects of 154 days of air strikes and artillery by the military, and booby traps the rebels laid everywhere to keep them at bay. REUTERS/Eloisa Lopez #philippines #marawi #reuters #reutersphotos #conflict
  •  2,252  6  3 hours ago
  • #StandAsOne for #Marawi two years on...
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Osnia Atingan is one of the those displaced by the Marawi crisis in 2017. Together with her parents and her baby sister, Osnia stayed in a cramped evacuation center in Saguiaran, Lanao del Sur.
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“I just want to go back to how it was before, back home. I miss the comfort of my own bed and, most importantly, I miss going to school. I dream of becoming a nurse one day and help the sick and the needy. Some day, I am sure we can all go after our dreams, peacefully.”
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📸 Rhea Catada/Oxfam
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#conflict #disaster #humanitarian #Marawi #twoyears #twoyearsago #throwback
  • #StandAsOne for #Marawi two years on...
    .
    Osnia Atingan is one of the those displaced by the Marawi crisis in 2017. Together with her parents and her baby sister, Osnia stayed in a cramped evacuation center in Saguiaran, Lanao del Sur.
    .
    “I just want to go back to how it was before, back home. I miss the comfort of my own bed and, most importantly, I miss going to school. I dream of becoming a nurse one day and help the sick and the needy. Some day, I am sure we can all go after our dreams, peacefully.”
    .
    📸 Rhea Catada/Oxfam
    .
    #conflict #disaster #humanitarian #Marawi #twoyears #twoyearsago #throwback
  •  6  0  3 hours ago
  • PORTIONS OF SHARE - PUBLICATION

Besides the three artists’ books, Portions of Share presents a publication with essays on these notions through the lenses of the artistic proposals of invited participating artists. The invited participating artists of Portions of Share are Rita GT, Nuno Nunes-Ferreira, Kristina Müntzing and Kalle Brolin (Sunshine Socialist Cinema). @portionsofshare
@rita.gt 
@nunonunesferreira 
#sunshinesocialistcinema
  • PORTIONS OF SHARE - PUBLICATION

    Besides the three artists’ books, Portions of Share presents a publication with essays on these notions through the lenses of the artistic proposals of invited participating artists. The invited participating artists of Portions of Share are Rita GT, Nuno Nunes-Ferreira, Kristina Müntzing and Kalle Brolin (Sunshine Socialist Cinema). @portionsofshare
    @rita.gt
    @nunonunesferreira
    #sunshinesocialistcinema
  •  5  5  3 hours ago
  • If the “four horsemen” signal doom in your relationship, their antidotes can help you to turn things around.
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@gottmaninstitute has found in their research that the 4 communication styles on the left signal the eventual demise of a relationship if they go unchecked. In fact, it can be predicted with 93% accuracy that these behaviors left unchanged result in divorce.
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Learning to replace them with what @gottmaninstitute calls their “antidotes” can help redirect the relationship into something that’s healthier & more fulfilling.
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Criticism occurs when you have a problem and you attribute this problem to your partner. “You never do the dishes! You never care about me or our house!”
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The antidote to criticism is called gentle startup. It sounds like this “When I come into the house and the dishes are still in the sink I feel stressed and angry. I need you to help with the dishes”.
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Defensiveness often occurs in response to a perceived criticism. When people are defensive they respond by explaining themselves, playing a martyr, or punting criticism back. “Well, you never help me with the yard!”
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The antidote to defensiveness is responsibility taking. Even for the smallest part of your contribution. “You’re right, the dishes are a mess and I haven’t been doing them lately.”
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Stonewalling when a person withdraws, shuts down, and closes off from the other person because they are overwhelmed or physiologically flooded (heart rate over 95 BPM). It looks like someone that isn’t listening. They build a “stone wall” between themselves and their partner. They will respond with evasiveness.
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When someone is flooded it is impossible to continue a conversation. The antidote is stopping the conversation, self soothing, and returning no less than 20 minutes later.
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Contempt is the king of the horsemen. It is criticism supercharged. Not only does the person find flaw in their partner, they begin to state it from a space of “superiority”. This results in belittling, scoffing at, making fun of, mimicking, eye rolling, being mean, name calling, and sneering.
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It is the number one predictor of divorce. It conveys disgust.
.
(Continued in comments)
  • If the “four horsemen” signal doom in your relationship, their antidotes can help you to turn things around.
    .
    @gottmaninstitute has found in their research that the 4 communication styles on the left signal the eventual demise of a relationship if they go unchecked. In fact, it can be predicted with 93% accuracy that these behaviors left unchanged result in divorce.
    .
    Learning to replace them with what @gottmaninstitute calls their “antidotes” can help redirect the relationship into something that’s healthier & more fulfilling.
    .
    Criticism occurs when you have a problem and you attribute this problem to your partner. “You never do the dishes! You never care about me or our house!”
    .
    The antidote to criticism is called gentle startup. It sounds like this “When I come into the house and the dishes are still in the sink I feel stressed and angry. I need you to help with the dishes”.
    .
    Defensiveness often occurs in response to a perceived criticism. When people are defensive they respond by explaining themselves, playing a martyr, or punting criticism back. “Well, you never help me with the yard!”
    .
    The antidote to defensiveness is responsibility taking. Even for the smallest part of your contribution. “You’re right, the dishes are a mess and I haven’t been doing them lately.”
    .
    Stonewalling when a person withdraws, shuts down, and closes off from the other person because they are overwhelmed or physiologically flooded (heart rate over 95 BPM). It looks like someone that isn’t listening. They build a “stone wall” between themselves and their partner. They will respond with evasiveness.
    .
    When someone is flooded it is impossible to continue a conversation. The antidote is stopping the conversation, self soothing, and returning no less than 20 minutes later.
    .
    Contempt is the king of the horsemen. It is criticism supercharged. Not only does the person find flaw in their partner, they begin to state it from a space of “superiority”. This results in belittling, scoffing at, making fun of, mimicking, eye rolling, being mean, name calling, and sneering.
    .
    It is the number one predictor of divorce. It conveys disgust.
    .
    (Continued in comments)
  •  761  25  4 hours ago
  • PBC Book of the week:

The authors of this book concentrate less on how to make sense of our differences and more on winning at conflict without losing at love.

When couples fight, tempers flare, tongues loosen, and behavior occurs that can cause major damage to the relationship. Fight Fair! teaches couples how to have healthy disagreements. It is a candid and realistic "rulebook" for married couples to ensure that their conflict is God-honoring and respectful of their partner. There is also plenty of immediate application to ensure that future conflicts don't create permanent scars.

Surely a great read! 
#Bookoftheweek #Love #Conflict #Communication #Marriage #Couples #LifePartners #Relationships #PBC #PleasureBoxConcepts
  • PBC Book of the week:

    The authors of this book concentrate less on how to make sense of our differences and more on winning at conflict without losing at love.

    When couples fight, tempers flare, tongues loosen, and behavior occurs that can cause major damage to the relationship. Fight Fair! teaches couples how to have healthy disagreements. It is a candid and realistic "rulebook" for married couples to ensure that their conflict is God-honoring and respectful of their partner. There is also plenty of immediate application to ensure that future conflicts don't create permanent scars.

    Surely a great read!
    #Bookoftheweek #Love #Conflict #Communication #Marriage #Couples #LifePartners #Relationships #PBC #PleasureBoxConcepts
  •  9  0  4 hours ago

Top #conflict Posts

  • U N L E A S H E D // The second second coming 👾👜💕🌍🙏🏼🥳 #wehere
  • U N L E A S H E D // The second second coming 👾👜💕🌍🙏🏼🥳 #wehere
  •  786  37  17 May, 2019

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  • We don’t often realize that we can set boundaries (during) conflict. 
Most of us think that if we don’t like what is happening, we have to either internally shut down, or walk out of the room.
But there are other choices. 
If things start to become too intense for us to handle, we can let our partner know.
.
.
We can communicate that we need to take a “pause.”
We can ask our partner to soften their “tone” if we become scared. 
We can ask for our emotions or our perspective to be acknowledged so that we feel safe to continue.
We can also suggest a (time out) if we have gone beyond our window of tolerance. 
The @gottmaninstitute suggests we take a minimum of 20 minutes if we do take a time out. 
Their research shows that’s the (minimum) amount of time required to get our nervous system back to a regulated state.
.
.
I also want to make a note that in order for these boundaries and limits to work well, we have to have a willing partner. 
If our partner continues to speak loudly after we have communicated our boundary, then we must take care of ourselves. 
If our partner is not willing or (capable) of validating our perspective alongside of theirs, then they may need a time out themselves. 
We can also suggest that.
.
.
“Hey I can tell you seem a bit overwhelmed. Let’s take a break.”
.
.
“Lets just good hands for a few minutes without speaking okay?”
.
.
“I want to remind you that we are on the same team.”
.
.
We are all sensitive to different things during conflict. 
Some of us will be more sensitive to loud voices.
Some of us will respond anxiously to certain words. 
Some of us will feel terror at any kind of emotional or intellectual invalidation.
They are all important.
They are all valid. 
And it’s ultimately up to each of us to (own) the validity of these things for ourselves .. so that we can then teach them to our partner.
#coachingwithsilvy
  • We don’t often realize that we can set boundaries (during) conflict.
    Most of us think that if we don’t like what is happening, we have to either internally shut down, or walk out of the room.
    But there are other choices.
    If things start to become too intense for us to handle, we can let our partner know.
    .
    .
    We can communicate that we need to take a “pause.”
    We can ask our partner to soften their “tone” if we become scared.
    We can ask for our emotions or our perspective to be acknowledged so that we feel safe to continue.
    We can also suggest a (time out) if we have gone beyond our window of tolerance.
    The @gottmaninstitute suggests we take a minimum of 20 minutes if we do take a time out.
    Their research shows that’s the (minimum) amount of time required to get our nervous system back to a regulated state.
    .
    .
    I also want to make a note that in order for these boundaries and limits to work well, we have to have a willing partner.
    If our partner continues to speak loudly after we have communicated our boundary, then we must take care of ourselves.
    If our partner is not willing or (capable) of validating our perspective alongside of theirs, then they may need a time out themselves.
    We can also suggest that.
    .
    .
    “Hey I can tell you seem a bit overwhelmed. Let’s take a break.”
    .
    .
    “Lets just good hands for a few minutes without speaking okay?”
    .
    .
    “I want to remind you that we are on the same team.”
    .
    .
    We are all sensitive to different things during conflict.
    Some of us will be more sensitive to loud voices.
    Some of us will respond anxiously to certain words.
    Some of us will feel terror at any kind of emotional or intellectual invalidation.
    They are all important.
    They are all valid.
    And it’s ultimately up to each of us to (own) the validity of these things for ourselves .. so that we can then teach them to our partner.
    #coachingwithsilvy
  •  5,036  170  4 May, 2019
  • When our partner approaches us with something that hurts them, they are seeking love, compassion, they are seeking to be lovingly held in a moment that is very real for them.
.
.
When we get caught up in our own defenses, we can really screw this up.
What matters is not trying to understand the logic, but showing them that their feelings are important to us.
.
.
The way we look at them, turn towards them with our body language, the way we touch them in those highly sensitive and charged moments matter.
Our responses to those moments either build the relationship bridge .. or they destroy it.
.
.
If we fight to be right as our partner sits in their pain, we have lost the most important element of intimate relationship.
If we fight to be right as our partner continues to share and expose their deepest sensitivity to us, we push away and crush their safety with us.
.
.
Relationships require us to check in with ourselves and notice all the small ways we can unknowingly invalidate our partner.
They invite us to make space for our partner’s pain .. even if their logic doesn’t make sense to us.
They invite us to see all the disconnected ways we may have responded in the past .. and challenge us to learn (new ways) that preserve the safety of the  relationship.
They challenge us to use moments of conflict as opportunities to better understand our partner .. even as they struggle to understand themselves.
#coachingwithsilvy
  • When our partner approaches us with something that hurts them, they are seeking love, compassion, they are seeking to be lovingly held in a moment that is very real for them.
    .
    .
    When we get caught up in our own defenses, we can really screw this up.
    What matters is not trying to understand the logic, but showing them that their feelings are important to us.
    .
    .
    The way we look at them, turn towards them with our body language, the way we touch them in those highly sensitive and charged moments matter.
    Our responses to those moments either build the relationship bridge .. or they destroy it.
    .
    .
    If we fight to be right as our partner sits in their pain, we have lost the most important element of intimate relationship.
    If we fight to be right as our partner continues to share and expose their deepest sensitivity to us, we push away and crush their safety with us.
    .
    .
    Relationships require us to check in with ourselves and notice all the small ways we can unknowingly invalidate our partner.
    They invite us to make space for our partner’s pain .. even if their logic doesn’t make sense to us.
    They invite us to see all the disconnected ways we may have responded in the past .. and challenge us to learn (new ways) that preserve the safety of the relationship.
    They challenge us to use moments of conflict as opportunities to better understand our partner .. even as they struggle to understand themselves.
    #coachingwithsilvy
  •  3,921  100  25 April, 2019
  • Don't forget: war affects children.⁣
⁣
The war in Yemen displaced this child and his family from Taizz. They fled to the city of Dhamar. We are supplying them with basic goods such as mattresses.⁣
⁣
In early 2019 the @unitednations estimated 24 million people - 80% of the population - required humanitarian assistance or protection due to Yemen's conflict. ⁣
⁣
We are providing humanitarian support for both the internally displaced as well as 274,000 refugees and asylum seekers in Yemen.⁣
⁣
Photo: © UNHCR/Samar Al Marhabi⁣
⁣
#Yemen #families #baby #food #shelter #war #conflict⁣
  • Don't forget: war affects children.⁣

    The war in Yemen displaced this child and his family from Taizz. They fled to the city of Dhamar. We are supplying them with basic goods such as mattresses.⁣

    In early 2019 the @unitednations estimated 24 million people - 80% of the population - required humanitarian assistance or protection due to Yemen's conflict. ⁣

    We are providing humanitarian support for both the internally displaced as well as 274,000 refugees and asylum seekers in Yemen.⁣

    Photo: © UNHCR/Samar Al Marhabi⁣

    #Yemen #families #baby #food #shelter #war #conflict
  •  6,781  47  26 April, 2019

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  • 1️⃣ SET A BOUNDARY TO ONLY DISCUSS IMPORTANT ISSUES IN PERSON.
.
.
We are extremely limited in our ability to help regulate our partner via phone or text.
Unless we know both parties sensitivities deeply and can communicate to them in ways that work sufficiently for both partner’s, I would highly suggest keeping heated talks in person. 
Why?
Because when we bring up important conversations, we can spike up our own or our partner’s arousal system without realizing it, which can then cause us to stay flooded long after conversations have ended.
.
.
2️⃣ HAVE YOUR BODIES FACE EACH OTHER WHENEVER YOU SHARE CONCERNS.
.
.
Our eyes are extremely regulating during conflict. They help to humanize one another in moments when our brains want to turn our partner into our enemy.
.
.
3️⃣ TAKE A (PAUSE) WHENEVER YOU OR YOUR PARTNER HITS YOUR EMOTIONAL (LIMIT).
.
.
We all have a “window of tolerance” for emotional experiences. If you grew up in a family system where conflict was handled in a healthy way, you likely have a wider window of tolerance to handle difficult feelings. 
If you grew up in a family where conflict was handled aggressively or avoided, you probably have a smaller window of tolerance. 
The good news .. is that taking breaks during intense conversations at the (beginning sign) of discomfort can help us grow this window. 
If we try to push ourselves or our partner to “stay in it” even when they begin to dissociate or get overwhelmed, we are doing a major disservice.
.
.
4️⃣ FOCUS ON (CONNECTING) and (COMFORTING) BEFORE GOING INTO PROBLEM-SOLVING.
.
.
This is a (big) one.
When we focus on creating mutual safety and understanding (first) .. healthy solutions come much more naturally as a byproduct of that context. 
It’s normal to want to jump into “fixing” things in the middle of a Conflict. 
But I suggest you wait on that. 
Allow the focus to be on mutual vulnerability, and on mutual caring and concern for just a little while longer, even if it feels counterintuitive or uncomfortable. 
Once you feel connected, you can go into practical problem solving mode.
#coachingwithsilvy
.
.
What am I missing? 
What else helps you stay connected during conflict?
  • 1️⃣ SET A BOUNDARY TO ONLY DISCUSS IMPORTANT ISSUES IN PERSON.
    .
    .
    We are extremely limited in our ability to help regulate our partner via phone or text.
    Unless we know both parties sensitivities deeply and can communicate to them in ways that work sufficiently for both partner’s, I would highly suggest keeping heated talks in person.
    Why?
    Because when we bring up important conversations, we can spike up our own or our partner’s arousal system without realizing it, which can then cause us to stay flooded long after conversations have ended.
    .
    .
    2️⃣ HAVE YOUR BODIES FACE EACH OTHER WHENEVER YOU SHARE CONCERNS.
    .
    .
    Our eyes are extremely regulating during conflict. They help to humanize one another in moments when our brains want to turn our partner into our enemy.
    .
    .
    3️⃣ TAKE A (PAUSE) WHENEVER YOU OR YOUR PARTNER HITS YOUR EMOTIONAL (LIMIT).
    .
    .
    We all have a “window of tolerance” for emotional experiences. If you grew up in a family system where conflict was handled in a healthy way, you likely have a wider window of tolerance to handle difficult feelings.
    If you grew up in a family where conflict was handled aggressively or avoided, you probably have a smaller window of tolerance.
    The good news .. is that taking breaks during intense conversations at the (beginning sign) of discomfort can help us grow this window.
    If we try to push ourselves or our partner to “stay in it” even when they begin to dissociate or get overwhelmed, we are doing a major disservice.
    .
    .
    4️⃣ FOCUS ON (CONNECTING) and (COMFORTING) BEFORE GOING INTO PROBLEM-SOLVING.
    .
    .
    This is a (big) one.
    When we focus on creating mutual safety and understanding (first) .. healthy solutions come much more naturally as a byproduct of that context.
    It’s normal to want to jump into “fixing” things in the middle of a Conflict.
    But I suggest you wait on that.
    Allow the focus to be on mutual vulnerability, and on mutual caring and concern for just a little while longer, even if it feels counterintuitive or uncomfortable.
    Once you feel connected, you can go into practical problem solving mode.
    #coachingwithsilvy
    .
    .
    What am I missing?
    What else helps you stay connected during conflict?
  •  2,401  74  26 April, 2019