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  • Found my old drawings :) They’re pretty dark though’! Also my mind has gone through a dark period at this time... This is one of my first “poems”. I guess I’ve written it when I was around 13 years old... Ich hab meine alten Zeichnungen und Texte gefunden. Ich war ungefähr 13 Jahre alt als ich folgenden Text geschrieben habe ⬇️ und ging durch eine ziemlich dunkle Zeit.
______________________________________________
🇩🇪 it’s in German of course since I couldn’t speak English then... 🙄 as always: for translations just ask ;) : 
______________________________________________ ~ Das Mädchen im Spiegel ~ Part 3: 
Einfach war es nicht.
Ein Kämpfer hat es nicht leicht. Die Schläge waren hart es war eine lange Zeit,
bis ich endlich den Mut hatte zurück zu schlagen.
Nicht aus stolz oder Hass ich konnte es  nur nicht mehr ertragen, das Gefühl in der Nacht, nur schlecht zu sein & zu versagen, mich selbst zu verraten, 
wenn ich nicht für mich einstehe.
Ich trag auch gerne die Konsequenzen für meine Taten, weil ich sonst langsam aber sicher eingehe. 
Und jetzt steh ich hier und ich hab Heimweh, mein Herz ist nicht zu Hause auch wenn ich daheim leb! 
Ich glaub ich brauch ne Pause – ja ich halt das nicht mehr aus! Sie nennen es Familie.
Ich möcht’ hier nur noch raus, hier bekomm ich keine Liebe.
Ich prall meine Faust.
Ich kann mich nicht mehr zügeln.
Die Lichter, sie  geh’n aus!

#darkthoughts #dunklegedanken #childhoodmemories #childhoodabusesuvivor #childhoodabuse #childhoodabuseawareness #häuslichegewalt #kindheitserinnerungen #kindheit #missbrauch #gewalterfahrungen #gewaltgegenkinder #depression #drawing #poesie #gedichte
  • Found my old drawings :) They’re pretty dark though’! Also my mind has gone through a dark period at this time... This is one of my first “poems”. I guess I’ve written it when I was around 13 years old... Ich hab meine alten Zeichnungen und Texte gefunden. Ich war ungefähr 13 Jahre alt als ich folgenden Text geschrieben habe ⬇️ und ging durch eine ziemlich dunkle Zeit.
    ______________________________________________
    🇩🇪 it’s in German of course since I couldn’t speak English then... 🙄 as always: for translations just ask ;) :
    ______________________________________________ ~ Das Mädchen im Spiegel ~ Part 3:
    Einfach war es nicht.
    Ein Kämpfer hat es nicht leicht. Die Schläge waren hart es war eine lange Zeit,
    bis ich endlich den Mut hatte zurück zu schlagen.
    Nicht aus stolz oder Hass ich konnte es nur nicht mehr ertragen, das Gefühl in der Nacht, nur schlecht zu sein & zu versagen, mich selbst zu verraten,
    wenn ich nicht für mich einstehe.
    Ich trag auch gerne die Konsequenzen für meine Taten, weil ich sonst langsam aber sicher eingehe.
    Und jetzt steh ich hier und ich hab Heimweh, mein Herz ist nicht zu Hause auch wenn ich daheim leb!
    Ich glaub ich brauch ne Pause – ja ich halt das nicht mehr aus! Sie nennen es Familie.
    Ich möcht’ hier nur noch raus, hier bekomm ich keine Liebe.
    Ich prall meine Faust.
    Ich kann mich nicht mehr zügeln.
    Die Lichter, sie geh’n aus!

    #darkthoughts #dunklegedanken #childhoodmemories #childhoodabusesuvivor #childhoodabuse #childhoodabuseawareness #häuslichegewalt #kindheitserinnerungen #kindheit #missbrauch #gewalterfahrungen #gewaltgegenkinder #depression #drawing #poesie #gedichte

  •  18  0  1 January, 2020
  • Part 2: ~ Das Mädchen im Spiegel ~ 
______________________________________________

Meine Augen sind feucht und doch sind sie klar, ich erinner‘ mich heut als ob es gestern erst war. 
Ich war noch kleiner als jetzt vielleicht 5/6 Jahre alt, 
ich war verängstigt & entsetzt alles war düster und kalt.
Ich war verletzt und gefallen unter Worten & Schlägen.
2 Wellten die aufeinander prallten der Hass & der Segen. 
Ich war so hilflos so alleine ich löste mich von meinen Träumen , doch tränen liefen keine, es bringt nichts sich zu verkriechen und zu heulen.
Ich hab nachgedacht ich war verwirrt und wusste nicht was passiert.
Ich hab lange nicht gelacht und es dann endlich kapiert. Ich muss mich wehren und eines Tages schaff ich das und ich werde niemanden respektieren der so schwach sich seine Macht verschafft. Ich kann es schaffen auch wenn es physikalisch unmöglich scheint.
Ich muss an mich glauben und die Kraft wird kommen mit der Zeit. 
Ich hab mir in die Augen geseh‘n und gewusst ich muss kämpfen, was auch immer passiert die Welt wird mir nix schenken. 
So lang ich stolz sein kann auf mich selbst & meine Würde, scheiß ich auf Ärger, Schmerzen oder jegliche Hürde.
Im meinen Augen seh ich dieses kleine starke Mädchen, dass beschlossen hat zu kämpfen für sich & für ihr Leben. 
Das die alten Tränen wegwischt und ein stolzes lächeln aufsetzt, durch das jeder Zweifel erlischt egal wie stark man es verletzt.

____... Part 3 folgt... ⬇️ ______________________________________________

#darkthoughts #dunklegedanken #childhoodmemories #childhoodabusesuvivor #childhoodabuse #childhoodabuseawareness #häuslichegewalt #kindheitserinnerungen #kindheit #missbrauch #gewalterfahrungen #gewaltgegenkinder #depression #drawing #poesie #gedichte
  • Part 2: ~ Das Mädchen im Spiegel ~
    ______________________________________________

    Meine Augen sind feucht und doch sind sie klar, ich erinner‘ mich heut als ob es gestern erst war.
    Ich war noch kleiner als jetzt vielleicht 5/6 Jahre alt,
    ich war verängstigt & entsetzt alles war düster und kalt.
    Ich war verletzt und gefallen unter Worten & Schlägen.
    2 Wellten die aufeinander prallten der Hass & der Segen.
    Ich war so hilflos so alleine ich löste mich von meinen Träumen , doch tränen liefen keine, es bringt nichts sich zu verkriechen und zu heulen.
    Ich hab nachgedacht ich war verwirrt und wusste nicht was passiert.
    Ich hab lange nicht gelacht und es dann endlich kapiert. Ich muss mich wehren und eines Tages schaff ich das und ich werde niemanden respektieren der so schwach sich seine Macht verschafft. Ich kann es schaffen auch wenn es physikalisch unmöglich scheint.
    Ich muss an mich glauben und die Kraft wird kommen mit der Zeit.
    Ich hab mir in die Augen geseh‘n und gewusst ich muss kämpfen, was auch immer passiert die Welt wird mir nix schenken.
    So lang ich stolz sein kann auf mich selbst & meine Würde, scheiß ich auf Ärger, Schmerzen oder jegliche Hürde.
    Im meinen Augen seh ich dieses kleine starke Mädchen, dass beschlossen hat zu kämpfen für sich & für ihr Leben.
    Das die alten Tränen wegwischt und ein stolzes lächeln aufsetzt, durch das jeder Zweifel erlischt egal wie stark man es verletzt.

    ____... Part 3 folgt... ⬇️ ______________________________________________

    #darkthoughts #dunklegedanken #childhoodmemories #childhoodabusesuvivor #childhoodabuse #childhoodabuseawareness #häuslichegewalt #kindheitserinnerungen #kindheit #missbrauch #gewalterfahrungen #gewaltgegenkinder #depression #drawing #poesie #gedichte

  •  13  1  1 January, 2020
  • Found my old drawings :) They’re pretty dark though’! Also my mind has gone through a dark period at this time... This is one of my first “poems”. I guess I’ve written it when I was around 13 years old... Ich hab meine alten Zeichnungen und Texte gefunden. Ich war ungefähr 13 Jahre alt als ich folgenden Text geschrieben habe ⬇️ und ging durch eine ziemlich dunkle Zeit.
______________________________________________
🇩🇪 it’s in German of course since I couldn’t speak English then... 🙄 as always: for translations just ask ;) : 
______________________________________________

Part 1:
Das Mädchen im Spiegel

Ich hab die Kopfhörer auf und lieg auf meinem Bett, den Beat den ich brauch, die Probleme fliegen weg. 
Mit jedem Bass schlägt mein Herz & ich lass diesen schmerz endlich los.
Mein Gefühl steckt in jedem Vers. Hört gut zu es geht los… 
Jede Zeile in meinem Kopf, mit der ich meine Seele niederschreibe, was ich träume und was ich mir erhoff,  verdrängt den stress und die Eile. 
Ich hab oft den Glauben an diese Welt verloren doch ich glaube an Gott, 
ich glaube an mich selbst & ich glaub an mein Wort. 
Ich blicke in die Nacht:
sie liegt still einsam und unberührt. 
Ich bin mit einem Schrei aufgewacht, der zu eiskalter Gänsehaut führt. 
Ich fass an meine Wangen, sie sind überströmt mit Tränen. 
Es ist ein schweres unterfangen doch ich hab mir geschworen niemals aufzugeben.

Langsam stehe ich auf und schalt die Nachtischlampe ein. 
Ich mach das Fenster auf lass das Dunkle herein.
Ich habe Angst, doch ich weiß nicht vor was.
Alles ist still. Über der Welt hängt ein Schleier von Schlaf.
Ich gehe zum Spiegel und sehe ängstlich hinein. 
Es erhebt sich ein Nebel.
Dort steh ich nun so schwach und so klein. 
______________________________________________ ... Part 2 folgt... ⬇️ ______________________________________________

#darkthoughts #dunklegedanken #childhoodmemories #childhoodabusesuvivor #childhoodabuse #childhoodabuseawareness #häuslichegewalt #kindheitserinnerungen #kindheit #missbrauch #gewalterfahrungen #gewaltgegenkinder #depression #drawing #poesie #gedichte
  • Found my old drawings :) They’re pretty dark though’! Also my mind has gone through a dark period at this time... This is one of my first “poems”. I guess I’ve written it when I was around 13 years old... Ich hab meine alten Zeichnungen und Texte gefunden. Ich war ungefähr 13 Jahre alt als ich folgenden Text geschrieben habe ⬇️ und ging durch eine ziemlich dunkle Zeit.
    ______________________________________________
    🇩🇪 it’s in German of course since I couldn’t speak English then... 🙄 as always: for translations just ask ;) :
    ______________________________________________

    Part 1:
    Das Mädchen im Spiegel

    Ich hab die Kopfhörer auf und lieg auf meinem Bett, den Beat den ich brauch, die Probleme fliegen weg.
    Mit jedem Bass schlägt mein Herz & ich lass diesen schmerz endlich los.
    Mein Gefühl steckt in jedem Vers. Hört gut zu es geht los…
    Jede Zeile in meinem Kopf, mit der ich meine Seele niederschreibe, was ich träume und was ich mir erhoff, verdrängt den stress und die Eile.
    Ich hab oft den Glauben an diese Welt verloren doch ich glaube an Gott,
    ich glaube an mich selbst & ich glaub an mein Wort.
    Ich blicke in die Nacht:
    sie liegt still einsam und unberührt.
    Ich bin mit einem Schrei aufgewacht, der zu eiskalter Gänsehaut führt.
    Ich fass an meine Wangen, sie sind überströmt mit Tränen.
    Es ist ein schweres unterfangen doch ich hab mir geschworen niemals aufzugeben.

    Langsam stehe ich auf und schalt die Nachtischlampe ein.
    Ich mach das Fenster auf lass das Dunkle herein.
    Ich habe Angst, doch ich weiß nicht vor was.
    Alles ist still. Über der Welt hängt ein Schleier von Schlaf.
    Ich gehe zum Spiegel und sehe ängstlich hinein.
    Es erhebt sich ein Nebel.
    Dort steh ich nun so schwach und so klein.
    ______________________________________________ ... Part 2 folgt... ⬇️ ______________________________________________

    #darkthoughts #dunklegedanken #childhoodmemories #childhoodabusesuvivor #childhoodabuse #childhoodabuseawareness #häuslichegewalt #kindheitserinnerungen #kindheit #missbrauch #gewalterfahrungen #gewaltgegenkinder #depression #drawing #poesie #gedichte

  •  21  0  1 January, 2020
  • Not posted here for a long time. 
Just busy with life and working and keeping my head above water. 
Christmas used to fill me with dread.... the weeks leading up to it I’d get so anxious because if have to see HIM. They last few years I’ve deliberately distanced myself from things so I wouldn’t  have to see HIM. This year is the first year in a long time where I’ve felt less on edge. Don’t get me wrong it’s still tiring and stressful but not as much as it has been previously for me. 
I am starting to struggle without a therapist, just to have that space to talk about anything. 
I know Christmas for many is a happy time of year but I can sympathise with those who struggle, can’t wait for it to be over and to go back to normal routines. Christmas isn’t easy for everyone. 
Police investigations are continue to move forward, it is just a waiting game which I find so very hard; I’m not a patient person. 
I read an article today about a 19year old killing a priest who abused him. It’s sad the 19year old will be done for murder- but I so get that absolute hatred you can have for a person. The boy was let down by people he needed to believe him, so he took matters into his own hands. Justice systems around the world, not just the UK, really need to listen to victims. Abuse really does destroys one life and it’s not fair for the abuser to go free. 
Anyway, a slightly ranty post but as I haven’t been here for so long one I needed to write. 
Everyone take care, keep holding on to hope and having moments for yourself. .
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#abuse #sexualabuse #childhoodabuse #childhoodabusesurvivor #childhoodabuseawareness #survivor #depression #anxiety #mentalhealth #bastards #hate #policeinvestigation #policeuk
  • Not posted here for a long time.
    Just busy with life and working and keeping my head above water.
    Christmas used to fill me with dread.... the weeks leading up to it I’d get so anxious because if have to see HIM. They last few years I’ve deliberately distanced myself from things so I wouldn’t have to see HIM. This year is the first year in a long time where I’ve felt less on edge. Don’t get me wrong it’s still tiring and stressful but not as much as it has been previously for me.
    I am starting to struggle without a therapist, just to have that space to talk about anything.
    I know Christmas for many is a happy time of year but I can sympathise with those who struggle, can’t wait for it to be over and to go back to normal routines. Christmas isn’t easy for everyone.
    Police investigations are continue to move forward, it is just a waiting game which I find so very hard; I’m not a patient person.
    I read an article today about a 19year old killing a priest who abused him. It’s sad the 19year old will be done for murder- but I so get that absolute hatred you can have for a person. The boy was let down by people he needed to believe him, so he took matters into his own hands. Justice systems around the world, not just the UK, really need to listen to victims. Abuse really does destroys one life and it’s not fair for the abuser to go free.
    Anyway, a slightly ranty post but as I haven’t been here for so long one I needed to write.
    Everyone take care, keep holding on to hope and having moments for yourself. .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    #abuse #sexualabuse #childhoodabuse #childhoodabusesurvivor #childhoodabuseawareness #survivor #depression #anxiety #mentalhealth #bastards #hate #policeinvestigation #policeuk

  •  3  0  28 December, 2019
  • I learnt a long time ago to own what I have done and deal with it because I know that there is always someone waiting to use that against me somewhere. So to avoid it I tend to own it and address it ASAP so that by the time anyone thinks of saying anything about it I’m solid and what they say does not affect me in anyway. 
By take control of our own lives we avoid giving others the opportunity to use their words to slow your progress. 
Try it, it really works. 
I am a single parent of two children and most people try to use that to “put me in my place” or to make me feel small. But fortunately I accepted my situation the day my children were born and never looked back. I take full responsibility for my situation and I make it work for us without stressing or feeling less than. And because of that whoever comes at me with that situation has no power or effect on my day or life! I sorted that ages ago I’m now living my life and being grateful for all I have 💃🏽 So remember next time anything happens just deal with it and own it and you’ll be surprised how free and happy you’ll be when someone else speaks on it! 
Have a wonderful day 
From 
Blessings 
#healing #ownit #heal #coach #coachforwomen #mentor #minsetcoachforwomen #mentoring #abusecoach #narcissisticabuserecoverycoach #dontdolifalone #coaching #abusedwomen #childhoodabuseawareness #childhoodabusesurvivor #childhoodabuse #mindsetiseverything #motivation #advice #lifeadvice #tiptuesday #lessonslearnedinlife
  • I learnt a long time ago to own what I have done and deal with it because I know that there is always someone waiting to use that against me somewhere. So to avoid it I tend to own it and address it ASAP so that by the time anyone thinks of saying anything about it I’m solid and what they say does not affect me in anyway.
    By take control of our own lives we avoid giving others the opportunity to use their words to slow your progress.
    Try it, it really works.
    I am a single parent of two children and most people try to use that to “put me in my place” or to make me feel small. But fortunately I accepted my situation the day my children were born and never looked back. I take full responsibility for my situation and I make it work for us without stressing or feeling less than. And because of that whoever comes at me with that situation has no power or effect on my day or life! I sorted that ages ago I’m now living my life and being grateful for all I have 💃🏽 So remember next time anything happens just deal with it and own it and you’ll be surprised how free and happy you’ll be when someone else speaks on it!
    Have a wonderful day
    From
    Blessings
    #healing #ownit #heal #coach #coachforwomen #mentor #minsetcoachforwomen #mentoring #abusecoach #narcissisticabuserecoverycoach #dontdolifalone #coaching #abusedwomen #childhoodabuseawareness #childhoodabusesurvivor #childhoodabuse #mindsetiseverything #motivation #advice #lifeadvice #tiptuesday #lessonslearnedinlife

  •  10  1  29 October, 2019
  • I grabbed this quote from a Shaken Baby Syndrome support group I’m in. These parents have and continue to go through what we went through. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
It’s heart breaking, yet so uplifting to know I’m in a safe place. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
It’s extremely hard to open up and feel all the feelings. Sometimes it’s easier to just survive each day.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
I see you. I’m here for you. You’re safe with me. ❤️⁣⁣
⁣
..........................................⁣
⁣
I see you running your child to therapy when your friends are running their kids to little league or ballet. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
I see you slipping out of the conversation when your friends are all chiming in about milestones and test grades. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
I see you constantly juggling appointments and meetings. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
I see you sitting at your computer for hours researching what your child needs. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
I see you spread thin, but still going the extra mile for your family. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
I see you digging for depths of strength you never dreamed you had. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
I see you showing appreciation to the teachers, therapists, and medical professionals who serve your child with you. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
I see you rising early in the morning to do it all again after another chaotic night. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
I see you when you’re hanging on to the end of your rope for dear life. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
I know you feel invisible, like nobody notices any of it. I want you to know I notice you. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
I see you relentlessly pushing onward. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
I see you keep choosing to do everything in your power to give your child the best possible care at home, in school, at therapy, and at the doctor. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
What you’re doing matters. It’s worth it. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
On those days when you wonder if you can do it another minute, I want you to know I see you. I want you to know you’re beautiful. I want you to know it’s worth it. I want you to know you’re not alone. I want you to know love is what matters most, and you have that nailed. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
And on those days when you have breakthroughs, those times when the hard work pays off and success is yours to cherish, I see you then too, and I am proud of you. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
Whichever day today is, you’re worthy, you’re good, and I see you. — Author Unknown⁣⁣
⁣
⁣⁣
#iseeyou #youresafe #blueribboninitiative
  • I grabbed this quote from a Shaken Baby Syndrome support group I’m in. These parents have and continue to go through what we went through. ⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣
    It’s heart breaking, yet so uplifting to know I’m in a safe place. ⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣
    It’s extremely hard to open up and feel all the feelings. Sometimes it’s easier to just survive each day.⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣
    I see you. I’m here for you. You’re safe with me. ❤️⁣⁣

    ..........................................⁣

    I see you running your child to therapy when your friends are running their kids to little league or ballet. ⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣
    I see you slipping out of the conversation when your friends are all chiming in about milestones and test grades. ⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣
    I see you constantly juggling appointments and meetings. ⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣
    I see you sitting at your computer for hours researching what your child needs. ⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣
    I see you spread thin, but still going the extra mile for your family. ⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣
    I see you digging for depths of strength you never dreamed you had. ⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣
    I see you showing appreciation to the teachers, therapists, and medical professionals who serve your child with you. ⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣
    I see you rising early in the morning to do it all again after another chaotic night. ⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣
    I see you when you’re hanging on to the end of your rope for dear life. ⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣
    I know you feel invisible, like nobody notices any of it. I want you to know I notice you. ⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣
    I see you relentlessly pushing onward. ⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣
    I see you keep choosing to do everything in your power to give your child the best possible care at home, in school, at therapy, and at the doctor. ⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣
    What you’re doing matters. It’s worth it. ⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣
    On those days when you wonder if you can do it another minute, I want you to know I see you. I want you to know you’re beautiful. I want you to know it’s worth it. I want you to know you’re not alone. I want you to know love is what matters most, and you have that nailed. ⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣
    And on those days when you have breakthroughs, those times when the hard work pays off and success is yours to cherish, I see you then too, and I am proud of you. ⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣
    Whichever day today is, you’re worthy, you’re good, and I see you. — Author Unknown⁣⁣

    ⁣⁣
    #iseeyou #youresafe #blueribboninitiative

  •  26  3  11 October, 2019
  • Just because it’s over doesn’t mean it’s over..
We carry the pain with us, although we want to forget it. Abuse in all forms is very damaging and we forget that because we cannot see the scars imprinted in our minds. I still remember the feeling of terror when my mother used to barge into my room like a demon had possessed her as her hand swiped across my dresser. All of my collectibles and keepsakes were smashed to the ground in her fit of rage. The toilet got clogged and immediately I was the one she blamed. But that was the usual; I was blamed for things even when I wasn’t home. She used to randomly smash my belongings when something happened in the house. My siblings watched in terror. They didnt know what to do. Then she’d pull my hair and push me down while I pleaded “no, no stop it wasn’t me!” She couldn’t even hear me at that point because she had to get her aggression out. I was always left to clean up the mess. Once she broke a globe (you know the ones with the water in them and when you shake them, theres glitter) 
I foolishly used to stand there begging for answers from her “why did you do this?” And she seemed to have hated me and would walk away and act like I didn’t matter. I picked up the pieces of glass and all my things off the floor, some broke and some in tact after every episode she had. This went on for years. I cried a lot and didn’t know what I did. Rather than seeing she had the problem, as a child I thought I was bad and wrong. It manifested in me throughout childhood that I was internally defective. 
#childhoodabuseawareness #childhoodabuse #traumabonding #traumarecovery #speakup #childhoodwounds #reflection #horror #psychologicalabuse #emotionalabuse #survivorstories #survivorsspeak #shame #abusiverelationship #education #myexperience #processthepain
  • Just because it’s over doesn’t mean it’s over..
    We carry the pain with us, although we want to forget it. Abuse in all forms is very damaging and we forget that because we cannot see the scars imprinted in our minds. I still remember the feeling of terror when my mother used to barge into my room like a demon had possessed her as her hand swiped across my dresser. All of my collectibles and keepsakes were smashed to the ground in her fit of rage. The toilet got clogged and immediately I was the one she blamed. But that was the usual; I was blamed for things even when I wasn’t home. She used to randomly smash my belongings when something happened in the house. My siblings watched in terror. They didnt know what to do. Then she’d pull my hair and push me down while I pleaded “no, no stop it wasn’t me!” She couldn’t even hear me at that point because she had to get her aggression out. I was always left to clean up the mess. Once she broke a globe (you know the ones with the water in them and when you shake them, theres glitter)
    I foolishly used to stand there begging for answers from her “why did you do this?” And she seemed to have hated me and would walk away and act like I didn’t matter. I picked up the pieces of glass and all my things off the floor, some broke and some in tact after every episode she had. This went on for years. I cried a lot and didn’t know what I did. Rather than seeing she had the problem, as a child I thought I was bad and wrong. It manifested in me throughout childhood that I was internally defective.
    #childhoodabuseawareness #childhoodabuse #traumabonding #traumarecovery #speakup #childhoodwounds #reflection #horror #psychologicalabuse #emotionalabuse #survivorstories #survivorsspeak #shame #abusiverelationship #education #myexperience #processthepain

  •  47  4  6 September, 2019
  • Children who experience four or more traumatic events in childhood 👧🏻🧒🏾👦🏼are 5x more likely to become an alcoholic 🥃🍷🍸, 60% more likely to become obese, and 46x more likely to become an injection-drug 💉user than the general population.  This according to a study done on over 17,000 patients in Kaiser Permanente’s Adverse Childhood Experiences study. ⁣
⁣
Avoiding resolution of these early childhood traumatic experiences will almost guarantee ongoing psychological suffering which can lead to the need to self-medicate using substances. ⁣😕
⁣
At Profound Treatment, we work hard with you to get to the root of your psychological pain through intensive therapy and individualized treatment programs that cater to each individuals emotional, psychological and physical needs.  To find out more about our programs, call us today for a confidential assessment of how we can help you. 🙏🏼✨⁣
  • Children who experience four or more traumatic events in childhood 👧🏻🧒🏾👦🏼are 5x more likely to become an alcoholic 🥃🍷🍸, 60% more likely to become obese, and 46x more likely to become an injection-drug 💉user than the general population. This according to a study done on over 17,000 patients in Kaiser Permanente’s Adverse Childhood Experiences study. ⁣

    Avoiding resolution of these early childhood traumatic experiences will almost guarantee ongoing psychological suffering which can lead to the need to self-medicate using substances. ⁣😕

    At Profound Treatment, we work hard with you to get to the root of your psychological pain through intensive therapy and individualized treatment programs that cater to each individuals emotional, psychological and physical needs. To find out more about our programs, call us today for a confidential assessment of how we can help you. 🙏🏼✨⁣

  •  25  2  19 June, 2019
  • 6.16.19
The calendar reads Fathers Day so I hope everyone who finds that meaningful has a wonderful day. I send hope for peace of mind and tranquil hearts to those who have complicated relationships with parental figures who come to mind on this day. 
In my early years of school we would have to make crafts for our father in preparation for Father’s Day. My teachers would always somehow know that I “don’t have a dad” and would whisper, all too loudly, that my craft was for my mom or grandma. Perhaps I should draw flowers and use the purple crayon. 
Coffee breath injuring my senses, dyed hair against my cheek, causing a symphony of snickers and audience of 7 year old eyes, I’d strain to hear these whispers; I could intake the info at this volume, though what did this mean? 
There was in fact a “man in the house;” I had a collection of men, some would promise a pet if left the room, others would beat me until it was hard to breath. They would be undeservedly gifted with names like Dad and Stepfather when a clueless social worker would scan only my stomach for bruises. 
I was ok “without a dad.” I am ok without a father. I know the calendar inspires others to disagree. 
I celebrate parental figures who have crafted havens of love, care and support in this wild, scary world. I celebrate surviving into adulthood in the midst of all the villains out there. I do this everyday, but esp on days where a calendar tends to inspire deeper and more frequent thoughts of such figures. .
.
.
#fathersday #thoughts #childhoodabuseawareness #life #etc #happyfathersday #family #history #mystory
  • 6.16.19
    The calendar reads Fathers Day so I hope everyone who finds that meaningful has a wonderful day. I send hope for peace of mind and tranquil hearts to those who have complicated relationships with parental figures who come to mind on this day.
    In my early years of school we would have to make crafts for our father in preparation for Father’s Day. My teachers would always somehow know that I “don’t have a dad” and would whisper, all too loudly, that my craft was for my mom or grandma. Perhaps I should draw flowers and use the purple crayon.
    Coffee breath injuring my senses, dyed hair against my cheek, causing a symphony of snickers and audience of 7 year old eyes, I’d strain to hear these whispers; I could intake the info at this volume, though what did this mean?
    There was in fact a “man in the house;” I had a collection of men, some would promise a pet if left the room, others would beat me until it was hard to breath. They would be undeservedly gifted with names like Dad and Stepfather when a clueless social worker would scan only my stomach for bruises.
    I was ok “without a dad.” I am ok without a father. I know the calendar inspires others to disagree.
    I celebrate parental figures who have crafted havens of love, care and support in this wild, scary world. I celebrate surviving into adulthood in the midst of all the villains out there. I do this everyday, but esp on days where a calendar tends to inspire deeper and more frequent thoughts of such figures. .
    .
    .
    #fathersday #thoughts #childhoodabuseawareness #life #etc #happyfathersday #family #history #mystory

  •  8  0  16 June, 2019
  • As I’ve grown into my 20’s it’s been brought to my knowledge that I was not my abusers only victim. 
The first time this was brought to me was 6 years ago. I was drunk in a Main Street parking lot crying to a friend because a guy wasn’t attracted to me enough to have sex with me (this wasn’t true, but it’s what my mind had convinced me) I proceeded to cry about why I had to be this way, and why did “I” have to be the only one that was abused? The person that I was crying to looked at me dead in the eye and said “you weren’t” I immediately connected the dots, and to this day my mind races back to an exact event where the individual that had been abused, had been abused. Of course at the time I had no clue because my abuse had not begun yet (or maybe it had but I was so young). Each time my mind takes me there my heart breaks 💔. Now that I’m at a different stage of my healing, someone else is opening up to me... and to think that all those years ago I was picking up a cross that was NEVER mine to carry. To think that at such a young age I was BRAVE and still so NAIVE enough to believe that I was allowing what happened to me, to happen to me because I thought I was protecting those around me. I had a sister, cousins, and even a mother to protect. THAT WAS NEVER MY JOB, NOT MY ASSIGNMENT. I WAS A CHILD, AND I DID NOT HAVE THAT POWER. Now as an adult I hear these stories of children being abused and all I can think is those poor babies they’re so young, but I’ve never stopped to think how young I was. To think of the multitude of children that currently are doing what I did. That are putting such responsibility on themselves, some even blame themselves. If this is/was you, ask God to help you forgive yourself. Let go of that cross that is not yours to bear. No longer allow yourself to be the victim. You are strong, you have survived, your story... #tobecontinued
  • As I’ve grown into my 20’s it’s been brought to my knowledge that I was not my abusers only victim.
    The first time this was brought to me was 6 years ago. I was drunk in a Main Street parking lot crying to a friend because a guy wasn’t attracted to me enough to have sex with me (this wasn’t true, but it’s what my mind had convinced me) I proceeded to cry about why I had to be this way, and why did “I” have to be the only one that was abused? The person that I was crying to looked at me dead in the eye and said “you weren’t” I immediately connected the dots, and to this day my mind races back to an exact event where the individual that had been abused, had been abused. Of course at the time I had no clue because my abuse had not begun yet (or maybe it had but I was so young). Each time my mind takes me there my heart breaks 💔. Now that I’m at a different stage of my healing, someone else is opening up to me... and to think that all those years ago I was picking up a cross that was NEVER mine to carry. To think that at such a young age I was BRAVE and still so NAIVE enough to believe that I was allowing what happened to me, to happen to me because I thought I was protecting those around me. I had a sister, cousins, and even a mother to protect. THAT WAS NEVER MY JOB, NOT MY ASSIGNMENT. I WAS A CHILD, AND I DID NOT HAVE THAT POWER. Now as an adult I hear these stories of children being abused and all I can think is those poor babies they’re so young, but I’ve never stopped to think how young I was. To think of the multitude of children that currently are doing what I did. That are putting such responsibility on themselves, some even blame themselves. If this is/was you, ask God to help you forgive yourself. Let go of that cross that is not yours to bear. No longer allow yourself to be the victim. You are strong, you have survived, your story... #tobecontinued

  •  23  8  24 May, 2019
  • If you needed motivation today, look no further.⁣ (LINK in bio)⁣
⁣⁣
In our newest episode, Lily Riley (@finding_a_lil_balance) shares her incredible story involving years of abuse from multiple different people.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
The positive mindset that she developed to assist in working through this trauma is something that is insanely inspiring. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
Please check it out, let us know what you think, and shoot Lily’s account a follow!⁣⁣
⁣⁣
PS - shoot @omhc_podcast a follow too if you haven’t already. Thanks!
  • If you needed motivation today, look no further.⁣ (LINK in bio)⁣
    ⁣⁣
    In our newest episode, Lily Riley (@finding_a_lil_balance) shares her incredible story involving years of abuse from multiple different people.⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣
    The positive mindset that she developed to assist in working through this trauma is something that is insanely inspiring. ⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣
    Please check it out, let us know what you think, and shoot Lily’s account a follow!⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣
    PS - shoot @omhc_podcast a follow too if you haven’t already. Thanks!

  •  10  2  30 April, 2019
  • If you needed motivation today, look no further.⁣ (LINK in bio)⁣
⁣⁣
In our newest episode, Lily Riley (@finding_a_lil_balance) shares her incredible story involving years of abuse from multiple different people.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
The positive mindset that she developed to assist in working through this trauma is something that is insanely inspiring. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
Please check it out, let us know what you think, and shoot Lily’s account a follow!⁣⁣
⁣⁣
PS - shoot @omhc_podcast a follow too if you haven’t already. Thanks!
  • If you needed motivation today, look no further.⁣ (LINK in bio)⁣
    ⁣⁣
    In our newest episode, Lily Riley (@finding_a_lil_balance) shares her incredible story involving years of abuse from multiple different people.⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣
    The positive mindset that she developed to assist in working through this trauma is something that is insanely inspiring. ⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣
    Please check it out, let us know what you think, and shoot Lily’s account a follow!⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣
    PS - shoot @omhc_podcast a follow too if you haven’t already. Thanks!

  •  19  6  30 April, 2019
  • The “play is learning fair” today was so much with Haven Family Resource here in LHC.  We let the kiddos decorate cupcakes and parents received useful information for themselves & others 🙌🏻✌🏻 #childhoodabuseawareness
  • The “play is learning fair” today was so much with Haven Family Resource here in LHC. We let the kiddos decorate cupcakes and parents received useful information for themselves & others 🙌🏻✌🏻 #childhoodabuseawareness

  •  22  0  27 April, 2019
  • I just saw this thread on @theshaderoom  and the comments brought tears to my eyes. ⁣
⁣
⁣
From 'comparing their children with other children' to 'not celebrating their children's wins no matter how small', the list goes on on that thread. ⁣
⁣
⁣
We need to do better as parents. That post brought back terrible memories. Lawd!!!!😥😥😥 ⁣
⁣
⁣
That our parents did it some kind of way doesn't mean we should continue the vicious cycle.⁣
⁣
⁣
Maybe it's a Nigerian thing but most of us have been conditioned to think spanking our kids for instance is harmless. ⁣
⁣
⁣
I used to beat the crap out of my kids years ago but now, I'm a firm believer that it's counter-productive. The stories I could tell about how much that has backfired!!! ⁣
⁣
⁣
As for me, one toxic parenting style that I'm NEVER continuing with my children is the absence of any form of bonding and words of endearment. ⁣
⁣
⁣
Till date, I don't remember my father ever hugging me. ⁣
⁣
⁣
That died with my parents. I don't see them as bad people. They did the best they could but I'm doing things differently. ⁣
⁣
⁣
My parenting isn't perfect and my kids are farrr from perfect but I will not be repeating some things with them. ⁣
⁣
⁣
So, over to you. What toxic parenting style are you leaving with your parents??? Please share with us. Let's learn from you.
  • I just saw this thread on @theshaderoom and the comments brought tears to my eyes. ⁣


    From 'comparing their children with other children' to 'not celebrating their children's wins no matter how small', the list goes on on that thread. ⁣


    We need to do better as parents. That post brought back terrible memories. Lawd!!!!😥😥😥 ⁣


    That our parents did it some kind of way doesn't mean we should continue the vicious cycle.⁣


    Maybe it's a Nigerian thing but most of us have been conditioned to think spanking our kids for instance is harmless. ⁣


    I used to beat the crap out of my kids years ago but now, I'm a firm believer that it's counter-productive. The stories I could tell about how much that has backfired!!! ⁣


    As for me, one toxic parenting style that I'm NEVER continuing with my children is the absence of any form of bonding and words of endearment. ⁣


    Till date, I don't remember my father ever hugging me. ⁣


    That died with my parents. I don't see them as bad people. They did the best they could but I'm doing things differently. ⁣


    My parenting isn't perfect and my kids are farrr from perfect but I will not be repeating some things with them. ⁣


    So, over to you. What toxic parenting style are you leaving with your parents??? Please share with us. Let's learn from you.

  •  70  32  10 April, 2019

Top #childhoodabuseawareness Posts

  • I just saw this thread on @theshaderoom  and the comments brought tears to my eyes. ⁣
⁣
⁣
From 'comparing their children with other children' to 'not celebrating their children's wins no matter how small', the list goes on on that thread. ⁣
⁣
⁣
We need to do better as parents. That post brought back terrible memories. Lawd!!!!😥😥😥 ⁣
⁣
⁣
That our parents did it some kind of way doesn't mean we should continue the vicious cycle.⁣
⁣
⁣
Maybe it's a Nigerian thing but most of us have been conditioned to think spanking our kids for instance is harmless. ⁣
⁣
⁣
I used to beat the crap out of my kids years ago but now, I'm a firm believer that it's counter-productive. The stories I could tell about how much that has backfired!!! ⁣
⁣
⁣
As for me, one toxic parenting style that I'm NEVER continuing with my children is the absence of any form of bonding and words of endearment. ⁣
⁣
⁣
Till date, I don't remember my father ever hugging me. ⁣
⁣
⁣
That died with my parents. I don't see them as bad people. They did the best they could but I'm doing things differently. ⁣
⁣
⁣
My parenting isn't perfect and my kids are farrr from perfect but I will not be repeating some things with them. ⁣
⁣
⁣
So, over to you. What toxic parenting style are you leaving with your parents??? Please share with us. Let's learn from you.
  • I just saw this thread on @theshaderoom and the comments brought tears to my eyes. ⁣


    From 'comparing their children with other children' to 'not celebrating their children's wins no matter how small', the list goes on on that thread. ⁣


    We need to do better as parents. That post brought back terrible memories. Lawd!!!!😥😥😥 ⁣


    That our parents did it some kind of way doesn't mean we should continue the vicious cycle.⁣


    Maybe it's a Nigerian thing but most of us have been conditioned to think spanking our kids for instance is harmless. ⁣


    I used to beat the crap out of my kids years ago but now, I'm a firm believer that it's counter-productive. The stories I could tell about how much that has backfired!!! ⁣


    As for me, one toxic parenting style that I'm NEVER continuing with my children is the absence of any form of bonding and words of endearment. ⁣


    Till date, I don't remember my father ever hugging me. ⁣


    That died with my parents. I don't see them as bad people. They did the best they could but I'm doing things differently. ⁣


    My parenting isn't perfect and my kids are farrr from perfect but I will not be repeating some things with them. ⁣


    So, over to you. What toxic parenting style are you leaving with your parents??? Please share with us. Let's learn from you.

  •  70  32  10 April, 2019