Latest #breadcrumbing Posts
- Recently I posted about breadcrumbing, and I had comments and PMs asking what it meant. I thought I’d share my own story as it might help you...one night, a guy popped up in my PMs. He was super 🔥 so being flattered, I responded. It was all a flurry of messages for a few weeks, then I discovered he had a girlfriend. Against all the alarms ringing, I believed him when he said she wasn’t his partner, just “someone”. (I know 🙄). I did ask why all he did was message me and never call and he said it was because he was “shy”, and yes you guessed it, I accepted that. A few times I suggested we meet up and that was met with excuses, but I was so wrapped up in the messages that I kept responding. Sometimes I would receive a lot of messages in one day, then silence for a few days, then one or two messages, then silence. Are you seeing a pattern yet? It was a roller coaster🎢 of anxiety them happiness, then panic then relief 🎢. This is breadcrumbing. Where someone gives you attention and you lap it up, then zero communication, then they might message a few days later wanting to make plans to meet, then silence again and on and on it goes. Give a little, and we lick the crumbs and actually convince ourselves it’s enough. The day it all ended was when I questioned the authenticity. Then like a true Breadcrumber, I received a tonne of messages in quick succession making out I was an untrusting psycho, deleting and blocking me. All within 30 seconds of my question. THIS is how you know. When they react with aggression and accusations, then disappear off the face of the earth after weeks or months of being in contact. This is super common with online dating, Facebook and Instagram according to a mate who’s a therapist. So if you feel in the bottom of your stomach that you’re being breadcrumbed or strung along, you probably are. I could’ve saved myself a tonne of time, if someone had explained to me what breadcrumbing is. It’s cruel, it’s upsetting and you may be broken hearted if you’re in deep enough 💔 I’d love to know if you’ve been breadcrumbed? 📸 @1.spiritual
#love #relationships #onlinedating #narcissist #singlemum #singlemom #dating #redflags #sunday #breadcrumbing
- Accontentarsi delle briciole. Cadere vittima del breadcrumbing
Il termine inglese breadcrumbing significa spargere briciole di pane ed indica il classico gesto che, ad esempio, si fa al parco con i piccioni.
In psicologia si tratta di un atteggiamento di manipolazione usato, più o meno intenzionalmente, da un soggetto, a volte semplicemente immaturo ed insicuro, più spesso anche egocentrico e narcisista, per attirare l’attenzione dell’altro e legarlo a sé senza nessuna intenzione di iniziare una vera e propria relazione.
Il breadcrumber, uomo o donna che sia (il fenomeno riguarda entrambi), adotta comportamenti poco chiari, ambigui, superficiali ed imprevedibili per evitare in ogni modo di legarsi, responsabilizzarsi e coinvolgersi affettivamente in un rapporto reale e concreto.
Compare nella vita dell’altro per breve tempo (ad esempio, attraverso like e commenti sui social) e scompare subito dopo. Ha sempre una scusa per tirarsi indietro, magari all’ultimo minuto, e non mantenere promesse fatte e accordi presi.
Un comportamento del genere è una vera e propria tortura per l’altro ed è finalizzato, più o meno consapevolmente, a controllarlo e a tenerlo in pugno.
La vittima, incoraggiata da piccoli, discontinui ed intermittenti segnali e gesti di attenzione ed interesse, sviluppa attaccamento, desideri ed aspettative e vive, in uno stato di tensione, ansia e confusione, disorientata e nell’impossibilità di capire l’altro, perennemente in sospeso e in attesa, nella continua speranza che gli sporadici contatti e le interazioni, quasi sempre esclusivamente on line (il breadcrumber evita, di solito, l’incontro e la frequentazione reale), sfocino in una relazione effettiva e concreta.
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#psiche #psicologia #articolidipsicologia #breadcrumbing #narcisismo #autostima #relazioni #torturapsicologica #manipolazione #teneresullacorda
- I never understood the concept of pets, even as a child. It always struck me as a #paradox to claim ‘to love’ something so much you’d want to imprison it. Similar to a bird in a cage, that’s you whilst with the #narcissist . The #breadcrumbing keeps you singing higher for the narcissist’s entertainment, like a caged bird sings for its owner while forgetting your own majestic beauty and ability to fly away from being captive. If you don’t break out of that cage, you’ll be like the bird that even when the door is left open it remains inside. You need to be mentally free from what has happened, otherwise the door is open but you are still trapped believing all the #gaslighting , the #projection and the what ifs, just as the narcissist meant to be. P.s: if you know the author of this image, please tag her/him. Thanks.
- While there are lot of pros about the the increase in #narcissisticabuseawareness , such as light on misinformation about #narcissism for the general public as well as for #survivors to realize and understand what’s happening to them, it doesn’t come without some cons unfortunately. #narcissists are realizing that people are catching on their manipulative tactics and consequently they are having access to the same information. The consequence? They’re adapting in order to preserve their supply. Narcissists will go to ANY lengths to guarantee supply. Remember they don’t have #empathy or #consciousness . They are adapting and revising their tactics as the target starts to catch up to the #abuse . The #covertnarcissist is the most #insidious and will give a #fauxpology as a form of #breadcrumbing and it’s essentially a sophisticated way of #gaslighting as it will confuse many people about what’s really going on.
- Are you as excited for the final as we are?! We are opening the SKYbar for a special Love Island Final viewing! #itiswhatitis
From 7pm, join us and other fans of the show to enjoy some cocktails, a BBQ in Casa Amor (the terrace) and watch the epic final of the TV show of the summer! £6 a ticket, includes a welcome cocktail ❤️🏝🌅🏖 Upgrades available - contact firstname.lastname@example.org for more information on our VIP packages!
Ticket link in comments ❤️🥂💕🏖🏝🌅
- Part of discovering who I am has been coming to terms with who I thought I was, and the things I did based off those thoughts. I made space in my heart for those I shouldn't have loved, who weren't worth the affection and care that I had, who were poison for me, and who at my very core I had little respect for... and vice versa.
Part of making the stand to be myself has been acknowledging those feelings, but also making sure to cut my heart off from those people, to stop giving them the power to gaslight, to breadcrumb, and to use and abuse me by manipulating my feelings for their own ends.
We can't control who we love, but we can choose what to do with those feelings, and we can always choose to reevaluate those feelings at any time. For me, I often found it was a combination of a person's low moral compass, their lack of will to be their best self, and most of all the false empathy of the narcissist that would help me cut that tie.
I'm done with those people, I'm done with them haunting my heart and mind, so this is my formal way of saying "Fuck off, I'm done, I'm taking away your permission to hurt me anymore"
#fineartphotography #fineart #queerartist #gayartist #heartbreak #breadcrumbing #gaslighting #makeastand #notforyou #imdonewithyou #myheartnotyours
- #disney cast this gorgeous and talented young lady as Ariel and the internet has lost they dam minds. #halleybailey keep your head up. But shout out to Disney who realized they didn't have to be as aggressive as Gucci/Prada etc to cash in on racism for their marketing. We busy commenting/celebrating/protesting while they busy getting in everybody pockets. Well played. #capitalism #breadcrumbing #stillblackgirlmagictho
- Check out my new post: Bread-Crumbing: Ghosting’s Second Cousin on the blog NOW!
- מפה יפה וזכרונות של לחם
- When you’re type is a guy named Casper who likes to take you on weekend kitten fishing trips and feed your breadcrumbs. 👻 🎣 🍞
Top #breadcrumbing Posts
- 🇫🇷Le “Breadcrumbing”
Traduit littéralement ça veut dire «semer des miettes de pain».
Au sens figuré, ça veut dire qu’un.e Petit.e Poucet.te joue avec tes sentiments. Je m’explique.
Ça se traduit cmt dans la vraie vie ?
- Des messages honteusement courts à des heures tardives : Salut ça va ? / Tu fais quoi ?
- 2-3 « J’aime » sur tes photos de vacances 2015
- Un tag sur un article à la con
- Un message avec un lien vers une vidéo ou une photo hyper bateau accompagnés de « ça m’a fait penser à toi ;) »
- Un message bidon pour annuler à la dernière minute
Dans une relation romantique et sexuelle, le Petit Poucet est celui ou celle qui te donne assez pour que tu espères, mais sans au fond vouloir de vraie relation avec toi.
Et ça peut durer longtemps, et piquer très fort.
C’est pas nécessairement une volonté de nuire… C’est juste que des fois, notre cerveau de primate a besoin de combler une faille, mais on ne sait pas forcément laquelle, ni comment… Et dans un élan de survie, la chose la plus facile à faire c’est de se tourner vers cet.te autre. On l’a tous.tes fait une fois sans forcément vouloir de mal.
Alors faut faire quoi ?
Si on est le pigeon, il faut s’exprimer, défendre son petit self, en parlant haut et fort. Assumer qu’on veut plus et qu’on mérite mieux. Ça passe ou ça casse.
On peut pas blâmer quelqu’un qui continue à nous charger comme une petite mule si on lui a pas dit clairement qu’on avait mal au dos (Chantal Métaphore on m’appelle).
Et si on a l’impression d’être le/la Petit.e Poucet.te ? Et bien on peut, par exemple, trouvez quelqu’un sur la même longueur d’ondes, pour s’amuser sans nuire. Sinon, je vous promets que rester un peu seul.e n’a jamais buté personne, et que soit notre ego est assez fort pour y survivre, soit ce sera un bon test :-)
J’ai pas toujours été un exemple ni dans la Team Poucet ni dans la Team Pigeon. Mais on a le droit de se tromper, de décider qu’on en a marre des miettes et qu’on veut une vraie tartine. Avec du beurre et de la confiture. Merde à la fin.
Et toi t’as connu quoi ? #TeamPigeon #TeamPoucet #TeamTartine ?
(🇺🇸translated on my blog sophielambda.com, « Breadcrumbing, what the frack? »)
- I got so many responses to my story about setting boundaries with a dude yesterday🙅🏼♀️, I decided to immortalize my rant by posting about it (also immortalized in my highlights, if you missed it👆🏻).
I have many thoughts on the power and gender dynamics of boundary-setting and rejecting, but I'll spare you and save those for my date tonight 😜 #luckyguy
The point I really want to hammer home, here, is that we're living in a highly avoidant culture where we don't know how to have difficult conversations 🙈 (because we don’t know how to sit with our uncomfortable emotions and avoidance is easy bc of technology). .
And sometimes, by avoiding guilt or anxiety we think we're doing ourselves or another a favor (not bringing up our dissatisfaction with a friend, partner or colleague; ghosting or breadcrumbing someone, etc.). In reality, though, we actually EXTEND our (or another's) period of discomfort and create anxiety, resentment, blurred boundaries, confusion, and so on 🤦🏼♀️. .
Depending on your gender, culture, relational history, familial rules, etc., inviting in the discomfort of conflict and difficult conversations is HARD 😳. But remind yourself the temporary discomfort is likely worth the resultant comfort/relief, and know it does get easier (not comfortable, but easier and actually super fucking empowering 💪🏻). .
So let's all get uncomfortable together and have awkward convos and ask for what we need and reject peeps with integrity and collectively high-five and keep society functioning a little longer ☺️🙏🏻.
- Have you heard of breadcrumbing, orbiting, kittenfishing or tindstagramming?
Being across the latest dating lingo isn't just about keeping up with the cool kids, it can also be healing and empowering to know what happened to you has a label — and that you're not alone.
Thank you, next!
See our full list of dating terms at abc.net.au/life
#ghosting #breadcrumbing #dating #datingstruggles #tinderfails
- Have you been a victim of “e-maintaining” or “breadcrumbing”? It’s when someone you are/were interested in, texts you randomly “hey” “thinking of you” “happy new year” or sends a selfie, just so you respond, confirming to them you are still an “option” and still “into them” in some way, but they have no intention of actually seeing you, or truly care how you are. It’s just a way to boost their ego. Don’t let anyone do that to you and don’t be the one doing it- it’s just mean. Don’t ever scarf down the breadcrumbs that are being thrown your way. Most likely, you are being one of many who’s receiving that same text and selfie. If someone sends you a nude selfie, your name better be written on one of their private parts! Haha! It really leads to nothing and makes you invest your time and energy into someone who’s literally desperate for attention and has no ability to be happy, so they won’t be able to bring anything valuable into your life. If they keep doing it, they need therapy, if you keep letting them do it to you- you need therapy too. #emaintaining #breadcrumbing Pix are taken from my awesome play @dwiepolowkipomaranczy by #dareksenkowski