#anorexiafighter Instagram Photos & Videos

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  • This old selfie is brought to you by the fact that today I met my dietitian in person for the first time EVER! 
And I don’t know about her, but I left the appt pretty glad that she’s my dietitian. Which is....positive. 
But I also felt oddly... exposed. 
Like much more can be hidden when someone hasn’t seen you in person. 
The way I shift when I’m anxious. 
Or play with my bracelets. 
The fact that some food rituals are just still more powerful than me. 
Just my body in general. 
Like... those are things that can be seen in person. 
And it was weird to suddenly be conscious of them. 
To notice how much my anxiety went down when I acted on a good ritual just a little bit. 
To notice that I chose to wear a literal sack dress to meet her. 
To just....notice. 
To be in my mind and body. ——————————
Here’s to being just a little more present than usual.
  • This old selfie is brought to you by the fact that today I met my dietitian in person for the first time EVER!
    And I don’t know about her, but I left the appt pretty glad that she’s my dietitian. Which is....positive.
    But I also felt oddly... exposed.
    Like much more can be hidden when someone hasn’t seen you in person.
    The way I shift when I’m anxious.
    Or play with my bracelets.
    The fact that some food rituals are just still more powerful than me.
    Just my body in general.
    Like... those are things that can be seen in person.
    And it was weird to suddenly be conscious of them.
    To notice how much my anxiety went down when I acted on a good ritual just a little bit.
    To notice that I chose to wear a literal sack dress to meet her.
    To just....notice.
    To be in my mind and body. ——————————
    Here’s to being just a little more present than usual.
  •  8  1  15 minutes ago
  • Desayuno de hoy, un rico plátano verde majado con queso😋. Me gusto mucho aunque se me pasó un poco la sal. Creo que he perdido el miedo a la sal porque ahora la pongo sin problema en los alimentos que lo requieren y no me refiero a ese poco que ni se siente si no a la cantidad adecuada para que el plato sea súper rico. Recuerdo que tenía un temor enorme a pasarme de sal ya que un plato muy salado no me podía permitir comer y por eso casi ni le ponía o no le ponía haciendo de mis comidas un desastre. 
Ya no me afecta tanto, ni se me derrumba el mundo si en una comida le pongo mucha sal porque así pasa y con eso aprendemos a la próxima ponerle la cantidad adecuada.
Hoy por poner mucha sal, no me paso nada y es más estoy tan feliz por hacer comidas que si le gustarán a las personas ya que tendrán buen sabor. 
El miedo a equivocarse quita tantas oportunidades a las personas y es triste ver como muchos de esos miedos son provocados por personas que cada cosa que hacemos mal nos critican, juzgan, amenazan o castigan. Lamentablemente esas personas no ven que somos humanos y no maquinas, no podemos hacer todo en línea recta pero lo que si podemos hacer es intentarlo de nuevo cada vez que nos caigamos ya que aprendemos cosas nuevas que nos van ayudar a ser más fuertes y enfrentar de nuevo la situación. 
Tenemos la costumbre de olvidar por completo que ese momento malo va a pasar y que nuestro ánimo es solo temporal así que el mundo no se acaba ni se detiene por eso. Hay que aprender aceptar la situación y seguir con la vida tratando de escoger las mejores opciones para superar el momento pero por favor no piensen que la vida se apago porque hay tanto tiempo para cambiar ese pensamiento ❤️. #edrecovery #recovery #edwarrior #recovering #edrecovering #anorexiafighter #anorexiarecovering #edrecovering #anorexiawarrior #edfighter #edfight #anorexiafighter #fuckanorexianervosa #recoverywarrior
  • Desayuno de hoy, un rico plátano verde majado con queso😋. Me gusto mucho aunque se me pasó un poco la sal. Creo que he perdido el miedo a la sal porque ahora la pongo sin problema en los alimentos que lo requieren y no me refiero a ese poco que ni se siente si no a la cantidad adecuada para que el plato sea súper rico. Recuerdo que tenía un temor enorme a pasarme de sal ya que un plato muy salado no me podía permitir comer y por eso casi ni le ponía o no le ponía haciendo de mis comidas un desastre.
    Ya no me afecta tanto, ni se me derrumba el mundo si en una comida le pongo mucha sal porque así pasa y con eso aprendemos a la próxima ponerle la cantidad adecuada.
    Hoy por poner mucha sal, no me paso nada y es más estoy tan feliz por hacer comidas que si le gustarán a las personas ya que tendrán buen sabor.
    El miedo a equivocarse quita tantas oportunidades a las personas y es triste ver como muchos de esos miedos son provocados por personas que cada cosa que hacemos mal nos critican, juzgan, amenazan o castigan. Lamentablemente esas personas no ven que somos humanos y no maquinas, no podemos hacer todo en línea recta pero lo que si podemos hacer es intentarlo de nuevo cada vez que nos caigamos ya que aprendemos cosas nuevas que nos van ayudar a ser más fuertes y enfrentar de nuevo la situación.
    Tenemos la costumbre de olvidar por completo que ese momento malo va a pasar y que nuestro ánimo es solo temporal así que el mundo no se acaba ni se detiene por eso. Hay que aprender aceptar la situación y seguir con la vida tratando de escoger las mejores opciones para superar el momento pero por favor no piensen que la vida se apago porque hay tanto tiempo para cambiar ese pensamiento ❤️. #edrecovery #recovery #edwarrior #recovering #edrecovering #anorexiafighter #anorexiarecovering #edrecovering #anorexiawarrior #edfighter #edfight #anorexiafighter #fuckanorexianervosa #recoverywarrior
  •  36  2  50 minutes ago
  • 🎉 1000 FOLLOWERS CHALLENGE 🎉 A FULL BOX OF MACARONS!!! I can’t thank you all enough for 1k! ❤️I never thought this account would come so far and I know that you’ve supported me when I needed it and we are all strong enough to face any challenge that comes in our way and live the best lives possible! 😁I’ve literally always wanted to try macarons but I’ve never had them before so I thought to celebrate 1k I would treat myself! They were delicious 😍🙌 The flavours were (in order from the left) Raspberry, pistachio, lemon 🍋, vanilla, coffee ☕️ and chocolate! 🍫 Didn’t think I would like the pistachio and coffee ones but I loved them ALL! They were amazing! 😊 And, because 1k is such a huge milestone I wanted to make a change, so starting next week I’ll be doing either a pint party 🍦 or whole chocolate bar party 🍫 every Friday! I think this would be a great way to try everything I’ve wanted to ☺️ I’m thinking about doing a post with facts about me which I was going to put in the post but I don’t want to make it too long, so I might do that in the next post! If there’s anything you want to know please comment! 💕 Once again, thank you times a million for all your support ❤️❤️❤️ #anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #recovery #recoveryispossible #food #foodporn #fooddiary #foodblog #foodblogger #eat #eatittobeatit #edrecovery #tasty #yum #yemek #anoreksiya #strongerthanmyeatingdisorder #anorexiafighter #lezzet #fuckanorexia #aestheticfood #foodphotography #edwarrior #macarons #nightsnack #dessert
  • 🎉 1000 FOLLOWERS CHALLENGE 🎉 A FULL BOX OF MACARONS!!! I can’t thank you all enough for 1k! ❤️I never thought this account would come so far and I know that you’ve supported me when I needed it and we are all strong enough to face any challenge that comes in our way and live the best lives possible! 😁I’ve literally always wanted to try macarons but I’ve never had them before so I thought to celebrate 1k I would treat myself! They were delicious 😍🙌 The flavours were (in order from the left) Raspberry, pistachio, lemon 🍋, vanilla, coffee ☕️ and chocolate! 🍫 Didn’t think I would like the pistachio and coffee ones but I loved them ALL! They were amazing! 😊 And, because 1k is such a huge milestone I wanted to make a change, so starting next week I’ll be doing either a pint party 🍦 or whole chocolate bar party 🍫 every Friday! I think this would be a great way to try everything I’ve wanted to ☺️ I’m thinking about doing a post with facts about me which I was going to put in the post but I don’t want to make it too long, so I might do that in the next post! If there’s anything you want to know please comment! 💕 Once again, thank you times a million for all your support ❤️❤️❤️ #anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #recovery #recoveryispossible #food #foodporn #fooddiary #foodblog #foodblogger #eat #eatittobeatit #edrecovery #tasty #yum #yemek #anoreksiya #strongerthanmyeatingdisorder #anorexiafighter #lezzet #fuckanorexia #aestheticfood #foodphotography #edwarrior #macarons #nightsnack #dessert
  •  39  5  1 hour ago
  • Today I made Taco bowls for dinner with tomato and paprika chicken! They were really good! ❤️🥗🌮
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So it’s finally school holidays, thank goodness! Term 1 was long and stressful. 11 weeks of constant worry about school work. In this long term we did self catering for a week at school which was really cool. Instead of going to the dining we had to cook all our own meals. It was really cool to experiment with its different recipes. Although I ate a lot of avocado on toast due to its convenience and tastiness! Now I’m relaxing doing things I want to do, when I want to do it and not having to follow a structured day is really nice. 🙃😅
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My goal for this holidays is to try new foods. I’ve always stuck to safe foods since getting ill and I want to branch out and try new things. I used to be a real foodie before getting ill, and over the last week, cooking new recipes, I have started to become excited about food again. I love cooking and baking, so the holidays became the perfect time to play around with this. I’ve made multiple different salads which I’ve really enjoyed. Mum also loves not having to cook which I’m glad I can help out with. So do things you love, and that give you pleasure. Don’t drag yourself though life doing things you don’t like. I’ll post some more photos as I experiment and make new things over the next week and a bit! 💖😘
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Stay inventive, and keep going xx
  • Today I made Taco bowls for dinner with tomato and paprika chicken! They were really good! ❤️🥗🌮


    So it’s finally school holidays, thank goodness! Term 1 was long and stressful. 11 weeks of constant worry about school work. In this long term we did self catering for a week at school which was really cool. Instead of going to the dining we had to cook all our own meals. It was really cool to experiment with its different recipes. Although I ate a lot of avocado on toast due to its convenience and tastiness! Now I’m relaxing doing things I want to do, when I want to do it and not having to follow a structured day is really nice. 🙃😅


    My goal for this holidays is to try new foods. I’ve always stuck to safe foods since getting ill and I want to branch out and try new things. I used to be a real foodie before getting ill, and over the last week, cooking new recipes, I have started to become excited about food again. I love cooking and baking, so the holidays became the perfect time to play around with this. I’ve made multiple different salads which I’ve really enjoyed. Mum also loves not having to cook which I’m glad I can help out with. So do things you love, and that give you pleasure. Don’t drag yourself though life doing things you don’t like. I’ll post some more photos as I experiment and make new things over the next week and a bit! 💖😘


    Stay inventive, and keep going xx
  •  15  1  1 hour ago
  • Dinner tonight, post workout, was vegetable soup and a panini with tofu and black bean spread. .
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Earlier today I challenged my fear of having carbs back to back by having oats for breakfast and homemade banana bread as part of lunch. And let me tell y’all something.... CARBS ARE GODSENT. My workout was literally 1000x better than normal, my mood was better, and my belly happier. I can’t believe our minds trick us into thinking they’re bad for us, when actually they give us energy we need. Anorexia can kick my ass if it thinks I’m gonna waste anymore of my life being scared of them, and that folks is today’s tea.
  • Dinner tonight, post workout, was vegetable soup and a panini with tofu and black bean spread. .
    .
    .
    Earlier today I challenged my fear of having carbs back to back by having oats for breakfast and homemade banana bread as part of lunch. And let me tell y’all something.... CARBS ARE GODSENT. My workout was literally 1000x better than normal, my mood was better, and my belly happier. I can’t believe our minds trick us into thinking they’re bad for us, when actually they give us energy we need. Anorexia can kick my ass if it thinks I’m gonna waste anymore of my life being scared of them, and that folks is today’s tea.
  •  11  1  2 hours ago
  • 18/4/19- Had this as a night snack tonight and it was divineee not as good as Halo top though 🙈 second pic is my dinner (couldn't finish the potato's ) tried my hardest to not restrict and it went pretty well I guess!
  • 18/4/19- Had this as a night snack tonight and it was divineee not as good as Halo top though 🙈 second pic is my dinner (couldn't finish the potato's ) tried my hardest to not restrict and it went pretty well I guess!
  •  36  1  2 hours ago
  • Peppers chicken and half a piece of bread with a slice of cheese the latter been a fear I’m trying to overcome still after yesterday I know I can do it so knew I needed to try it again . Feeling a bit stressed today feel like I’m been set up to fail sometimes by my community team as they keep telling me I need more support they want me to think of ip yet what do I think would help in community and I get nowhere with what I know I need I need to just keep fighting and battling through prove people wrong prove I can do this yet the anorexia is so strong I just have to keep fighting . Poured myself half a glass of Prosecco to go with a bubble bath not had alcohol in so long though feeling like I shouldn’t but why ? Why is there rules ? Life is for living ! I need to Live we all deserve a life without anorexia !! Xx #eatingdisorderawareness #eatingdisorderrecovery #edfam #anorexiaruinslives #eatingdisordersupport #anorexia #anorexiafighter #anorexiasucks #anorexiacommunity #edwarrior
  • Peppers chicken and half a piece of bread with a slice of cheese the latter been a fear I’m trying to overcome still after yesterday I know I can do it so knew I needed to try it again . Feeling a bit stressed today feel like I’m been set up to fail sometimes by my community team as they keep telling me I need more support they want me to think of ip yet what do I think would help in community and I get nowhere with what I know I need I need to just keep fighting and battling through prove people wrong prove I can do this yet the anorexia is so strong I just have to keep fighting . Poured myself half a glass of Prosecco to go with a bubble bath not had alcohol in so long though feeling like I shouldn’t but why ? Why is there rules ? Life is for living ! I need to Live we all deserve a life without anorexia !! Xx #eatingdisorderawareness #eatingdisorderrecovery #edfam #anorexiaruinslives #eatingdisordersupport #anorexia #anorexiafighter #anorexiasucks #anorexiacommunity #edwarrior
  •  8  0  2 hours ago
  • New muffin to try 🙌😬 morning tea was half a banana and date! Nothing naughty muffin 😋 it was really good though the dates and banana + banana chips were a bit overwhelming but still managed 👍💪
  • New muffin to try 🙌😬 morning tea was half a banana and date! Nothing naughty muffin 😋 it was really good though the dates and banana + banana chips were a bit overwhelming but still managed 👍💪
  •  48  2  2 hours ago
  • I just randomly got the motivation to make an actual useful post. So here it goes. 
Sometimes I get tempted to create a before and after post. 
I suddenly get the desire to put an image of my malnourished body, and by that I mean a body that was not receiving the proper nutrition. IT DOES NOT MATTER IF A BODY IS BIG OR SNALL, IT CAN STILL BE MALNOURISHED. Next to my new body, which may be at a “healthy” weight. The truth is not much has changed, yes my weight has, yes I am able to eat more often, and I have more support. But I still get the same urges, I continue to hate every inch of my existence. I am sad how treatment is thought as a permanent fix, I know so many people who have had a journey twice as long as mine, done different treatments multiple times. And still aren’t “fixed”. Because really we aren’t a problem to be fixed, we were born with the same brain that we have now, with that same part that has tendency’s to feel different than “normal”. And because of the environment we have lived in, that part of us has developed into what is known as an eating disorder. So no, I will not be comparing two different suits of skin that protect my brain to each other, because what will that do? Sure it might prove how “far you have came”, but will it really? This disorder is not physical, yes it has those side effects BUT IT IS NOT PHYSICAL, and yes I know that you have probably heard that. But one day I hope it sticks.
  • I just randomly got the motivation to make an actual useful post. So here it goes.
    Sometimes I get tempted to create a before and after post.
    I suddenly get the desire to put an image of my malnourished body, and by that I mean a body that was not receiving the proper nutrition. IT DOES NOT MATTER IF A BODY IS BIG OR SNALL, IT CAN STILL BE MALNOURISHED. Next to my new body, which may be at a “healthy” weight. The truth is not much has changed, yes my weight has, yes I am able to eat more often, and I have more support. But I still get the same urges, I continue to hate every inch of my existence. I am sad how treatment is thought as a permanent fix, I know so many people who have had a journey twice as long as mine, done different treatments multiple times. And still aren’t “fixed”. Because really we aren’t a problem to be fixed, we were born with the same brain that we have now, with that same part that has tendency’s to feel different than “normal”. And because of the environment we have lived in, that part of us has developed into what is known as an eating disorder. So no, I will not be comparing two different suits of skin that protect my brain to each other, because what will that do? Sure it might prove how “far you have came”, but will it really? This disorder is not physical, yes it has those side effects BUT IT IS NOT PHYSICAL, and yes I know that you have probably heard that. But one day I hope it sticks.
  •  15  4  3 hours ago
  • Dinner tonight✌😋 Another one done. Got to be in bed soon, early morning tomorrow. Because... surprise surprise! Work 🙄😂😭
I'm on a 12 hour shift tomorrow sadly, but I'm off on Saturday!
I've been very tired today for some reason. Seems like my energy levels have gone to crap lately. Not sure what to have for supper as I'm hungry but feel like I've eaten more than enough today. I'm sure I'll figure it out🤷‍♀️ Sorry I dont have anything interesting to update you guys on. My lifes just not that great atm. 🤷‍♀️
I've been looking into pen pals for people in jail. Lots if people have been talking to me about it. It sounds nice honestly, we all get lonely sometimes and could use a friend❤ So I'm having a think on that!😁 Hope you're all okay!!
#anorexia #anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #mentalillnessrecovery #anorexiafighter #strongnotskinny #selfcare #fearfood #wellness
  • Dinner tonight✌😋 Another one done. Got to be in bed soon, early morning tomorrow. Because... surprise surprise! Work 🙄😂😭
    I'm on a 12 hour shift tomorrow sadly, but I'm off on Saturday!
    I've been very tired today for some reason. Seems like my energy levels have gone to crap lately. Not sure what to have for supper as I'm hungry but feel like I've eaten more than enough today. I'm sure I'll figure it out🤷‍♀️ Sorry I dont have anything interesting to update you guys on. My lifes just not that great atm. 🤷‍♀️
    I've been looking into pen pals for people in jail. Lots if people have been talking to me about it. It sounds nice honestly, we all get lonely sometimes and could use a friend❤ So I'm having a think on that!😁 Hope you're all okay!!
    #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #mentalillnessrecovery #anorexiafighter #strongnotskinny #selfcare #fearfood #wellness
  •  17  0  3 hours ago
  • 🌼 NIGHT SNACK 🌼 ▪️X2  Red Berries Special K Chewy Bar 🍓.. so I pushed myself to have 2 of these delicious snacks to make up for some calories missed today. However, as I was still so full from tonight’s tea (Pizza) I feel like I’ve eaten too much. The voices in my head are telling me I shouldn’t have and the quilt is not leaving my thoughts. I know I haven’t eaten too much, but cannot shift the feeling that I have over consumed. Hopefully one I won’t feel like this at all again but this is the process of recovery and I am determined to get there💪 Tomorrow is a new day..I Hope You’ve All Had A Wonderful Day💫 #onedayatatime #anorexiafighter #timeishealing #anorexiasucks
  • 🌼 NIGHT SNACK 🌼 ▪️X2 Red Berries Special K Chewy Bar 🍓.. so I pushed myself to have 2 of these delicious snacks to make up for some calories missed today. However, as I was still so full from tonight’s tea (Pizza) I feel like I’ve eaten too much. The voices in my head are telling me I shouldn’t have and the quilt is not leaving my thoughts. I know I haven’t eaten too much, but cannot shift the feeling that I have over consumed. Hopefully one I won’t feel like this at all again but this is the process of recovery and I am determined to get there💪 Tomorrow is a new day..I Hope You’ve All Had A Wonderful Day💫 #onedayatatime #anorexiafighter #timeishealing #anorexiasucks
  •  2  1  3 hours ago
  • Dire qui ya pas longtemps ma relation avec la nourriture c'était un gros "no-no" et après avoir fait la paix avec mon anorexie, je vois maintenant la nourriture comme un moyen d'être en santé .
#anorexiafighter
  • Dire qui ya pas longtemps ma relation avec la nourriture c'était un gros "no-no" et après avoir fait la paix avec mon anorexie, je vois maintenant la nourriture comme un moyen d'être en santé .
    #anorexiafighter
  •  10  2  3 hours ago
  • Faire ce genre de post n'est pas dans mes habitudes mais allez savoir, aujourd'hui j'en éprouve le besoin. Peut-être est ce parce que j'ai une angine qui me cloue au lit depuis 3 jours et que de fait, j'ai le temps de réfléchir, de ressasser, de me retourner. En réalité, aujourd'hui j'aimerais fêter quelque chose de spécial: Le changement.

Par changement, il n'est pas nécessairement question de la différence significative, à mon sens, que l'on remarque entre ces deux photos: le changement est avant tout le marqueur d'un cheminement intérieur. Encore aujourd'hui, je crois qu'il y a méconnaissance en ce qui concerne la problématique anorexique: Contrairement à ce que l'on pourrait penser, il ne SUFFIT PAS de manger. La relation conflictuelle qui s'instaure avec la nourriture n'est rien d'autre que la partie immergée de l'iceberg. Rien de plus, rien de moins. Les maux de l'âme sont bien plus complexes, les noeuds bien plus difficiles que cela à dénouer.

Je mentirais si je disais qu'aujourd'hui j'étais guérie. Aujourd'hui, j'ai dit que je fêtais le changement. Et celui-ci s'opère doucement... J'ai compris après des mois de lutte qu'on ne peut pas vivre avec l'anorexie toute sa vie. Au mieux, ce serait se destiner à une vie fatigante, frustrante, douloureuse. Aussi, j'ai compris que vouloir ou non des enfants relevait d'un choix et que l'important, dans le fond, c'était de choisir. Avec l'anorexie, sachez qu'on ne choisi pas.

Moi aujourd'hui, je choisis le changement, je choisis la vie.  #anorexierecovery #anorexiafighter
  • Faire ce genre de post n'est pas dans mes habitudes mais allez savoir, aujourd'hui j'en éprouve le besoin. Peut-être est ce parce que j'ai une angine qui me cloue au lit depuis 3 jours et que de fait, j'ai le temps de réfléchir, de ressasser, de me retourner. En réalité, aujourd'hui j'aimerais fêter quelque chose de spécial: Le changement.

    Par changement, il n'est pas nécessairement question de la différence significative, à mon sens, que l'on remarque entre ces deux photos: le changement est avant tout le marqueur d'un cheminement intérieur. Encore aujourd'hui, je crois qu'il y a méconnaissance en ce qui concerne la problématique anorexique: Contrairement à ce que l'on pourrait penser, il ne SUFFIT PAS de manger. La relation conflictuelle qui s'instaure avec la nourriture n'est rien d'autre que la partie immergée de l'iceberg. Rien de plus, rien de moins. Les maux de l'âme sont bien plus complexes, les noeuds bien plus difficiles que cela à dénouer.

    Je mentirais si je disais qu'aujourd'hui j'étais guérie. Aujourd'hui, j'ai dit que je fêtais le changement. Et celui-ci s'opère doucement... J'ai compris après des mois de lutte qu'on ne peut pas vivre avec l'anorexie toute sa vie. Au mieux, ce serait se destiner à une vie fatigante, frustrante, douloureuse. Aussi, j'ai compris que vouloir ou non des enfants relevait d'un choix et que l'important, dans le fond, c'était de choisir. Avec l'anorexie, sachez qu'on ne choisi pas.

    Moi aujourd'hui, je choisis le changement, je choisis la vie. #anorexierecovery #anorexiafighter
  •  15  6  3 hours ago
  • Weight is but a number and doesn’t define my worth, what matters more is whats going on around me, the world- and all that inhabits it ✨ I often feel like I am not thin enough to be sick even though my body is telling me I am. Its a sick twisted way of thinking that you are worthy of help if you aren’t “sick enough”. Any disordered thinking is being sick and you are worthy of help no matter where you are with your weight. I still am fighting my thoughts but its getting easier 💕
  • Weight is but a number and doesn’t define my worth, what matters more is whats going on around me, the world- and all that inhabits it ✨ I often feel like I am not thin enough to be sick even though my body is telling me I am. Its a sick twisted way of thinking that you are worthy of help if you aren’t “sick enough”. Any disordered thinking is being sick and you are worthy of help no matter where you are with your weight. I still am fighting my thoughts but its getting easier 💕
  •  17  7  3 hours ago
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🧿Ich will nicht in die Therapie gehen. Ich will nicht dahin aber zuhause sein will ich auch nicht. Ich kann nicht zuhause sein. Ich ertrage diese Einsamkeit und das Nichtstun einfach nicht. Ich hab noch bis Anfang mai, dann hab ich’s geschafft. Meinen ersten Klinik Aufenthalt hab ich dann überlebt. Aber was dann? Ich hab keine Perspektive, keinen Antrieb. Ich weiß nicht was ich machen soll und will und für mich gibts da draußen noch keinen Ort an den ich gehöre, außer in mein Bett vielleicht. Alles was ich im Moment gut kann ist weinen, im Bett liegen und mich krank melden sobald ich merke, es wird schwerer. Nichtmal duschen kann ich ohne all meine Energie dafür aufbringen zu müssen. Ich will einfach nicht mehr hier sein müssen. Ich will nicht mehr atmen und es fühlt sich so an als könnte ich das auch gar nicht mehr. Meine Gedanken rauben mir die Luft.🧿
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#recovery #gedanken #gedankenmüll #selfie #goldenhour #glitter #bronze #closeup #photography #makeup #highlight #sunny #essstörungrecovery #edrecovery #depression #anorexiafighter #bpdrecovery #bpd

  • 🧿Ich will nicht in die Therapie gehen. Ich will nicht dahin aber zuhause sein will ich auch nicht. Ich kann nicht zuhause sein. Ich ertrage diese Einsamkeit und das Nichtstun einfach nicht. Ich hab noch bis Anfang mai, dann hab ich’s geschafft. Meinen ersten Klinik Aufenthalt hab ich dann überlebt. Aber was dann? Ich hab keine Perspektive, keinen Antrieb. Ich weiß nicht was ich machen soll und will und für mich gibts da draußen noch keinen Ort an den ich gehöre, außer in mein Bett vielleicht. Alles was ich im Moment gut kann ist weinen, im Bett liegen und mich krank melden sobald ich merke, es wird schwerer. Nichtmal duschen kann ich ohne all meine Energie dafür aufbringen zu müssen. Ich will einfach nicht mehr hier sein müssen. Ich will nicht mehr atmen und es fühlt sich so an als könnte ich das auch gar nicht mehr. Meine Gedanken rauben mir die Luft.🧿

    #recovery #gedanken #gedankenmüll #selfie #goldenhour #glitter #bronze #closeup #photography #makeup #highlight #sunny #essstörungrecovery #edrecovery #depression #anorexiafighter #bpdrecovery #bpd
  •  41  1  3 hours ago
  • |🌞Lunch🌞|🕗 15:30|⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ • Mc Chicken and fries (Mc Donald’s) 🍔🍟⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ | Basically we went to Lisbon and there was everything really full so I end up not going to bounce as I was supposed to ! We passed to a LOT of places to have lunch which made me a@little nervous because all where full of people but another place give me another motive for anxiety and my father end up choosing Mc Donald’s and omg ! In 3 days i had fast food 2 times ! And my biggest fear fried foods! McDonald’s it’s not even close to be my favorite fast food restaurant but I had to have it anyway ! Supposedly I should not have fried foods according with my meal plan! But my father kind of doesn’t understands that and he is with a big depression so he is not ok too ! That way I just get there and although I was really anxious because I don’t want to be in a lifestyle where I eat fast food really often, and I’m afraid people around me will not let me create a clean and healthy lifestyle! Whatever I end up not even saying anything to him because I’m done of arguing! Mainly I’m done of arguing about food!! So I just ate it ! And it was not easy because it was fried stuff as that’s one of my biggest fears, and I had it 2 times in 3 days !!! I end up eating everything and talked with a very special friend of mine! Also after thank god my father decided to go to the mall and he end up buying me a new por of sneakers! An adidas falcon really beautiful! Anyway today was SOOOOO overwhelming and mentally exausting!#anorexiarecovery #edrecovery #fightinganorexia #beatana #anorexiafighter #lunch #eatittobeatit #edworrior #edfamiliy #eatingdisorderecovery #anorexianervosarecovery #mentalhealth #ed #fight #edfam #anorexiafighter #fuckana #fuckoffana #junkfood #edjourney #mcdonalds #mcchicken #foodporn #fries #foodchallenge #edwin #recoverywin #meal #fearfood #fearfoodchallenge for more of my recovery follow me @analesslife Xoxo 😚 if you need ANYTHING slide on my Dm’s and you know #eatitall 💪
  • |🌞Lunch🌞|🕗 15:30|⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ • Mc Chicken and fries (Mc Donald’s) 🍔🍟⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ | Basically we went to Lisbon and there was everything really full so I end up not going to bounce as I was supposed to ! We passed to a LOT of places to have lunch which made me a@little nervous because all where full of people but another place give me another motive for anxiety and my father end up choosing Mc Donald’s and omg ! In 3 days i had fast food 2 times ! And my biggest fear fried foods! McDonald’s it’s not even close to be my favorite fast food restaurant but I had to have it anyway ! Supposedly I should not have fried foods according with my meal plan! But my father kind of doesn’t understands that and he is with a big depression so he is not ok too ! That way I just get there and although I was really anxious because I don’t want to be in a lifestyle where I eat fast food really often, and I’m afraid people around me will not let me create a clean and healthy lifestyle! Whatever I end up not even saying anything to him because I’m done of arguing! Mainly I’m done of arguing about food!! So I just ate it ! And it was not easy because it was fried stuff as that’s one of my biggest fears, and I had it 2 times in 3 days !!! I end up eating everything and talked with a very special friend of mine! Also after thank god my father decided to go to the mall and he end up buying me a new por of sneakers! An adidas falcon really beautiful! Anyway today was SOOOOO overwhelming and mentally exausting! #anorexiarecovery #edrecovery #fightinganorexia #beatana #anorexiafighter #lunch #eatittobeatit #edworrior #edfamiliy #eatingdisorderecovery #anorexianervosarecovery #mentalhealth #ed #fight #edfam #anorexiafighter #fuckana #fuckoffana #junkfood #edjourney #mcdonalds #mcchicken #foodporn #fries #foodchallenge #edwin #recoverywin #meal #fearfood #fearfoodchallenge for more of my recovery follow me @analesslife Xoxo 😚 if you need ANYTHING slide on my Dm’s and you know #eatitall 💪
  •  29  0  3 hours ago
  • Found this old photo of some food... I’m having a lot of troubles staying positive and staying on the right path through my recovery at the time.. And know I have to keep fighting and not lose hope, but it’s so tempting just to give into the disordered thoughts and not upset them anymore than they are atm... Guess I just have to listen to Dory and just keep swimming.... Though I can’t cause I messed up my shoulder during a swim 🤦🏼‍♀️
#swimming #anorexia #anorexiafighter #anorexiarecovery #edrecovery #recoveryjourney #fearfood #beatana
  • Found this old photo of some food... I’m having a lot of troubles staying positive and staying on the right path through my recovery at the time.. And know I have to keep fighting and not lose hope, but it’s so tempting just to give into the disordered thoughts and not upset them anymore than they are atm... Guess I just have to listen to Dory and just keep swimming.... Though I can’t cause I messed up my shoulder during a swim 🤦🏼‍♀️
    #swimming #anorexia #anorexiafighter #anorexiarecovery #edrecovery #recoveryjourney #fearfood #beatana
  •  8  0  3 hours ago
  • Lunch today was a smoothie bowl (mine are just a cup of frozen mixed fruit and 1/2 a cup of coconut milk) and two almond butter nature valley bars😋😍 Honestly feeling a little proud because I haven't had the urge to restrict in a while💪 but, yet again, I'm not too sure I've been eating as much as I should be so i don't know 🤷

Anyway I hope you've all had a great day so far and that you keep fighting even if you feel you're close to giving up! <3

#anorexiawarrior #anorexiafighter #eatingdisorderrecovery #edfam #edrecovery #fightingana #anafamily #eattobeatit
  • Lunch today was a smoothie bowl (mine are just a cup of frozen mixed fruit and 1/2 a cup of coconut milk) and two almond butter nature valley bars😋😍 Honestly feeling a little proud because I haven't had the urge to restrict in a while💪 but, yet again, I'm not too sure I've been eating as much as I should be so i don't know 🤷

    Anyway I hope you've all had a great day so far and that you keep fighting even if you feel you're close to giving up! <3

    #anorexiawarrior #anorexiafighter #eatingdisorderrecovery #edfam #edrecovery #fightingana #anafamily #eattobeatit
  •  18  0  3 hours ago
  • 🌼 TONIGHTS TEA 🌼 ▪️ Sweet Chilli Pizza ( A whole one roughly 10inch ) and I finished the whole pizza. Crazy I could manage but my appetite is definitely expanding as I could have ate more💪 pizza is one of my favourite foods that I denied myself so much for so long..but last week I had my first ever since my ED..it crippled me to finish but tonight I decided as I’ve had a really good day so far with food I would have another and I am so glad I did! It was delicious🍕. Unfortunately..I haven’t stopped calorie counting as of yet and although I have consumed 2 meals today I am still under my daily consumption..so as I am in high spirits today for the first time in a long time I am considering an evening snack.(although I’m still very full)...wish me luck guys 💫 #recovery #anorexiaawareness #anorexiafighter #challengingmyself #anorexiarecover
  • 🌼 TONIGHTS TEA 🌼 ▪️ Sweet Chilli Pizza ( A whole one roughly 10inch ) and I finished the whole pizza. Crazy I could manage but my appetite is definitely expanding as I could have ate more💪 pizza is one of my favourite foods that I denied myself so much for so long..but last week I had my first ever since my ED..it crippled me to finish but tonight I decided as I’ve had a really good day so far with food I would have another and I am so glad I did! It was delicious🍕. Unfortunately..I haven’t stopped calorie counting as of yet and although I have consumed 2 meals today I am still under my daily consumption..so as I am in high spirits today for the first time in a long time I am considering an evening snack.(although I’m still very full)...wish me luck guys 💫 #recovery #anorexiaawareness #anorexiafighter #challengingmyself #anorexiarecover
  •  1  0  4 hours ago
  • new YouTube video up on my channel about my journey with anorexia. it’s a personal one but also one I’m proud of so please give it a watch 💛 link in bio x
  • new YouTube video up on my channel about my journey with anorexia. it’s a personal one but also one I’m proud of so please give it a watch 💛 link in bio x
  •  86  2  4 hours ago
  • recovery is hard. it’s eating even when it’s the last thing you want to do. i’m struggling at the moment and that’s okay. i shouldn’t beat myself up for finding things a bit tough at the moment. we are allowed to struggle - it’s normal and does not make us weak. temptations to skip a snack, restrict where i can, choose the lowest cal option, over-exercise are all so strong. ed thoughts are slowly creeping their way back into my mind and trying to bring me backwards. however i cannot let this happen, i must keep fighting them. i’ve come too far to fall backwards, even though it feels like the easy way out - my only option. i need to talk to someone before things get too bad and i do end up giving into those irrational thoughts. i haven’t seen any of my team this week but i’m seeing someone on tuesday, it’s not my therapist but at least it’s someone who will listen to me. i have my family, especially my mum, to talk to but i just find it difficult to open up to them as i hate admitting that i’m struggling and i hate the thought of making them worry. however i can’t do this on my own, i have proven to myself that things never end well when i try to deal with them myself. so, here it is, i’m struggling right now and that is okay. i’m struggling but i must push through.
  • recovery is hard. it’s eating even when it’s the last thing you want to do. i’m struggling at the moment and that’s okay. i shouldn’t beat myself up for finding things a bit tough at the moment. we are allowed to struggle - it’s normal and does not make us weak. temptations to skip a snack, restrict where i can, choose the lowest cal option, over-exercise are all so strong. ed thoughts are slowly creeping their way back into my mind and trying to bring me backwards. however i cannot let this happen, i must keep fighting them. i’ve come too far to fall backwards, even though it feels like the easy way out - my only option. i need to talk to someone before things get too bad and i do end up giving into those irrational thoughts. i haven’t seen any of my team this week but i’m seeing someone on tuesday, it’s not my therapist but at least it’s someone who will listen to me. i have my family, especially my mum, to talk to but i just find it difficult to open up to them as i hate admitting that i’m struggling and i hate the thought of making them worry. however i can’t do this on my own, i have proven to myself that things never end well when i try to deal with them myself. so, here it is, i’m struggling right now and that is okay. i’m struggling but i must push through.
  •  81  6  4 hours ago
  • 18.4.
🌼 SNÍDANĚ 🌼 Meruňkovo-broskvový proteinový jogurt, borůvky, hoodně skořicového müsli
🌼 SVAČINA 🌼 Jablko, kokosová rýžová tyčinka
🌼 OBĚD 🌼 z Loving Hutu- wrap plněný sójovým masem, paprikou, mrkví, okurkou, salátem, fazolová směs se seitanem, žampiony, mrkví, hráškem, brokolice, rajčata, tofu a další fazole
🌼 SVAČINA 🌼 Kokosový proteinový puding

Ze dneška mám celkem smíšené pocity... U té doktorky jsem měla 40kilo... Ale díky vodě... Byla jsem přecpaná z oběda, měla jsem opravdu obří porci a pak jsem ještě vypila ten litr a půl vody... Prostě pro jistotu.. na jednu stranu jsem ráda, že jsem to jakoby splnila, ale na druhou mě trochu děsí to, že abych těch čtyřiceti opravdu poctivě dosáhla, tak budu muset snad jíst ještě víc.. jenže už teď mám pocit, že jím až až... A ty výčitky jsou hrozné... Proto jsem dneska i vynechala večeři... Nedokázala jsem se přinutit... Někdy jsou holt špatné dny a já ho měla právě dneska... zítra to ale bude určitě lepší 💪💪 #weightrestoration #weightgain #weightgaining #edfighter #ed #edfamily #eatingdisorderrecover #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderecovery #anorexiafight #anawho #anorexiarecover #anorexiawarrior #anorexiafighter #anorexierecovery
  • 18.4.
    🌼 SNÍDANĚ 🌼 Meruňkovo-broskvový proteinový jogurt, borůvky, hoodně skořicového müsli
    🌼 SVAČINA 🌼 Jablko, kokosová rýžová tyčinka
    🌼 OBĚD 🌼 z Loving Hutu- wrap plněný sójovým masem, paprikou, mrkví, okurkou, salátem, fazolová směs se seitanem, žampiony, mrkví, hráškem, brokolice, rajčata, tofu a další fazole
    🌼 SVAČINA 🌼 Kokosový proteinový puding

    Ze dneška mám celkem smíšené pocity... U té doktorky jsem měla 40kilo... Ale díky vodě... Byla jsem přecpaná z oběda, měla jsem opravdu obří porci a pak jsem ještě vypila ten litr a půl vody... Prostě pro jistotu.. na jednu stranu jsem ráda, že jsem to jakoby splnila, ale na druhou mě trochu děsí to, že abych těch čtyřiceti opravdu poctivě dosáhla, tak budu muset snad jíst ještě víc.. jenže už teď mám pocit, že jím až až... A ty výčitky jsou hrozné... Proto jsem dneska i vynechala večeři... Nedokázala jsem se přinutit... Někdy jsou holt špatné dny a já ho měla právě dneska... zítra to ale bude určitě lepší 💪💪 #weightrestoration #weightgain #weightgaining #edfighter #ed #edfamily #eatingdisorderrecover #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderecovery #anorexiafight #anawho #anorexiarecover #anorexiawarrior #anorexiafighter #anorexierecovery
  •  8  0  4 hours ago
  • 📷 A little behind the scenes at the Brave Box office 📷 ⁣
⁣
We know that fighting for recovery is hard; that sometimes you want to call it quits when it feels unbearable. ⁣
⁣
We also know that not everyone has the conventional support system. That sometimes, it’s just you and your treatment team, working on your recovery. Maybe you’ve been blessed with friends and family that are involved; and maybe, that’s not the case. ⁣
⁣
Either way-that’s so okay. ⁣
⁣
And to be frank, that’s one of the many reasons #thebravebox came into existence: to join you on your journey. ⁣
⁣
It’s with the deepest hope, that this box gives you something to hold on to and allows you to keep going even when the days feel unbearable. ⁣
⁣
So from us, to you, please remember, you are not alone. ⁣
⁣
  • 📷 A little behind the scenes at the Brave Box office 📷 ⁣

    We know that fighting for recovery is hard; that sometimes you want to call it quits when it feels unbearable. ⁣

    We also know that not everyone has the conventional support system. That sometimes, it’s just you and your treatment team, working on your recovery. Maybe you’ve been blessed with friends and family that are involved; and maybe, that’s not the case. ⁣

    Either way-that’s so okay. ⁣

    And to be frank, that’s one of the many reasons #thebravebox came into existence: to join you on your journey. ⁣

    It’s with the deepest hope, that this box gives you something to hold on to and allows you to keep going even when the days feel unbearable. ⁣

    So from us, to you, please remember, you are not alone. ⁣
  •  25  1  4 hours ago
  • Tag 293:
#Frühstück Clafoutis mit Erdbeeren, Mandarine, Lions
#Mittagessen Nudeln, Käse, Gurke, Hähnchenstreifen, Gewürze, Sonnenblumenkerne 
#Snack Paradies Creme, Himbeeren, Mandarine, Pulver 
#Abendessen Toast, Käse, Lachsschinken, Joghurt, Müsli, Flohsamen ●Mein Tag heut war mal so und mal so. Frühs war ich einkaufen. Um Mittagszeit haben meine Großeltern erneut unangemeldet an unserer Tür sturm geklingelt. Das hat mich extrem gestresst und mir das Essen sowas von schwer gefallen. Hab trotzdem versucht weiter zu machen. Am Nachmittag war mein Dad kurz da. Am Smastag wird er meine Mum und mich nach Lichtenfels zum einkaufen fahren und am Abend nimmt er mich zu nem Handball Spiel vom HSC 2000 mit. Wird wie immer ne Challenge wegen den vielen Menschen. Aber muss ich in kauf nehmen wenn ich Handball mag. Wie meine Stimmung ist weiss ich net. Die ist so undifinirbar. 
#anorexiarecovery #anorexiafighter #fdoe
  • Tag 293:
    #Frühstück Clafoutis mit Erdbeeren, Mandarine, Lions
    #Mittagessen Nudeln, Käse, Gurke, Hähnchenstreifen, Gewürze, Sonnenblumenkerne
    #Snack Paradies Creme, Himbeeren, Mandarine, Pulver
    #Abendessen Toast, Käse, Lachsschinken, Joghurt, Müsli, Flohsamen ●Mein Tag heut war mal so und mal so. Frühs war ich einkaufen. Um Mittagszeit haben meine Großeltern erneut unangemeldet an unserer Tür sturm geklingelt. Das hat mich extrem gestresst und mir das Essen sowas von schwer gefallen. Hab trotzdem versucht weiter zu machen. Am Nachmittag war mein Dad kurz da. Am Smastag wird er meine Mum und mich nach Lichtenfels zum einkaufen fahren und am Abend nimmt er mich zu nem Handball Spiel vom HSC 2000 mit. Wird wie immer ne Challenge wegen den vielen Menschen. Aber muss ich in kauf nehmen wenn ich Handball mag. Wie meine Stimmung ist weiss ich net. Die ist so undifinirbar.
    #anorexiarecovery #anorexiafighter #fdoe
  •  30  0  4 hours ago