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  • It's kinda hard to write this.
The first pic is showing me and my maman two years ago, the second one was taken today.
The girl two years ago smiled for the picture, the girl now smiles cause she's happy; she survived and was able to come back to this beautiful place.
They're both at the same weight, their both caring way too much about food, weight, how they look and how they act. They're both wearing a Michael Kors kid jacket and fleece thights. There both stuck in the ED.
But there's a difference between them, a huge one.
The girl on the first pic wants to die, she's slowly fading, she doesn't eat and every bite she takes and every laugh she fakes are too much, she's got no energy.
The girl in the second pic smiles. She doesn't feel well at all, she's still slowly fading, but she's fighting against it. She eats delicious foods all day long, she's able to take long walks at the beach. She's getting happier every freaking day. There both stuck in ED, but they are at a different point of life.✨✌🏼
While realizing this at the beach, I had a really emotional moment, I cried a lot. But in a good way. I never thought I'd be able to stand at this beach again, smiling, not freezing (too much). I'm happy and blessed that I was able to come back. After all that has happend, I never thought I'd have a second chance, to be honest. But I got one and this shows me again; I also have a second chance to live. A second chance th finally beat this illness⚡️ And all of you, got it, too.🕊♥️ Lots of love, M🕊♥️
#ed #anorexia #edfamily #anorexiafighter #anorexiafood #againstanorexia #recovery #recoveryjourney #edfighter #lifewtihed #lifesftered #fuckanorexia #eatingdisorder #survive #food #foodblogger #anorexiaandfood #foodcraving #cravings #lifestyle #recipe #healthy #healthyfood #kickanasass
  • It's kinda hard to write this.
    The first pic is showing me and my maman two years ago, the second one was taken today.
    The girl two years ago smiled for the picture, the girl now smiles cause she's happy; she survived and was able to come back to this beautiful place.
    They're both at the same weight, their both caring way too much about food, weight, how they look and how they act. They're both wearing a Michael Kors kid jacket and fleece thights. There both stuck in the ED.
    But there's a difference between them, a huge one.
    The girl on the first pic wants to die, she's slowly fading, she doesn't eat and every bite she takes and every laugh she fakes are too much, she's got no energy.
    The girl in the second pic smiles. She doesn't feel well at all, she's still slowly fading, but she's fighting against it. She eats delicious foods all day long, she's able to take long walks at the beach. She's getting happier every freaking day. There both stuck in ED, but they are at a different point of life.✨✌🏼
    While realizing this at the beach, I had a really emotional moment, I cried a lot. But in a good way. I never thought I'd be able to stand at this beach again, smiling, not freezing (too much). I'm happy and blessed that I was able to come back. After all that has happend, I never thought I'd have a second chance, to be honest. But I got one and this shows me again; I also have a second chance to live. A second chance th finally beat this illness⚡️ And all of you, got it, too.🕊♥️ Lots of love, M🕊♥️
    #ed #anorexia #edfamily #anorexiafighter #anorexiafood #againstanorexia #recovery #recoveryjourney #edfighter #lifewtihed #lifesftered #fuckanorexia #eatingdisorder #survive #food #foodblogger #anorexiaandfood #foodcraving #cravings #lifestyle #recipe #healthy #healthyfood #kickanasass
  •  20  4  12 hours ago

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  • { #ad ; but bought on my own}
Good morning guyyz✨
Today I wanna talk about a huge and struggling problem during recovery✌🏼
ADVICES from other people⚡️ We all know them, we all get them🌩
"Just eat more" or "add more choc, whipped crem, just more calories" are words, everybody gets to hear at least once during their recovery.
But are they really needed and helpful? ⚡️
First of all; I know there ment to be nice, but it's kinda hard to deal with these comments.. We're all fighting, and every battle with ED looks different and depends on the person struggling with ED. There some people eating just sweets during recovery. And there are also people who eating just healthy stuff or balanced🌩 Everyone needs to find their own way to fight, depending on how much they can take. And just cause one person is eating just healthy stuff during their recovery, doesn't mean their intake can't be the same like another one eating just sweets and fast food✌🏼
This battle is huge, takes a lot of strength and ofc a lot of tears. And at the end it's [partly] the decision of the one who's recovering how they wanna recover and what kinda foods they want [and crave].
There are always so many people trying to put pressure on somebody who's recovering. I even think you get more judged during recovery than during ED. 🙃
I know it's hard to understand for people surrounding us, that we can't eat like others. But is this a reason to judge us? Can't they be as thankful as we are, that we're finally able to eat anything at all? 
Those judgements make everything so complicated and it's NOT easy saying: "Just carry on doing your thing and stop listening to them" They make recovery even worse, it's kinda even harder to eat sth when somebody is always looking at your food [that you're proud of, cause you're eating] and telling you what's wrong about it⚡️ Those words are those things, that make eating with other people even more uncomfortable! 🌩
How should we deal with them? Without our minds getting filled with tons of negative, weird thoughts.⚡️
Here's a reminder for everyone [cause there are also people struggling with ED themselves and saying comments like this];⬇️
  • { #ad ; but bought on my own}
    Good morning guyyz✨
    Today I wanna talk about a huge and struggling problem during recovery✌🏼
    ADVICES from other people⚡️ We all know them, we all get them🌩
    "Just eat more" or "add more choc, whipped crem, just more calories" are words, everybody gets to hear at least once during their recovery.
    But are they really needed and helpful? ⚡️
    First of all; I know there ment to be nice, but it's kinda hard to deal with these comments.. We're all fighting, and every battle with ED looks different and depends on the person struggling with ED. There some people eating just sweets during recovery. And there are also people who eating just healthy stuff or balanced🌩 Everyone needs to find their own way to fight, depending on how much they can take. And just cause one person is eating just healthy stuff during their recovery, doesn't mean their intake can't be the same like another one eating just sweets and fast food✌🏼
    This battle is huge, takes a lot of strength and ofc a lot of tears. And at the end it's [partly] the decision of the one who's recovering how they wanna recover and what kinda foods they want [and crave].
    There are always so many people trying to put pressure on somebody who's recovering. I even think you get more judged during recovery than during ED. 🙃
    I know it's hard to understand for people surrounding us, that we can't eat like others. But is this a reason to judge us? Can't they be as thankful as we are, that we're finally able to eat anything at all?
    Those judgements make everything so complicated and it's NOT easy saying: "Just carry on doing your thing and stop listening to them" They make recovery even worse, it's kinda even harder to eat sth when somebody is always looking at your food [that you're proud of, cause you're eating] and telling you what's wrong about it⚡️ Those words are those things, that make eating with other people even more uncomfortable! 🌩
    How should we deal with them? Without our minds getting filled with tons of negative, weird thoughts.⚡️
    Here's a reminder for everyone [cause there are also people struggling with ED themselves and saying comments like this];⬇️
  •  35  3  22 hours ago
  • Good evening guyyz🌙
First day in Egmond aan Zee is soon over✌🏼
1st two pics are showing our heavenly #dinner : ratatouille with northsea shrimps🤤
Recipe:
-2cups potatoes
-1 large eggplant
-1 large zucchini
-2 cups mushrooms
- 1 large onion
-3 cups tomato sauce
-olive oil
1. start frying the onion and the eggplant
2. add the potatoes and zucchini
3. add the mushrooms
4. when the ingredients are fried, pour in the tomato sauce
5. let the ingredients boil, add your spices (salt, pepper, french herbals etc.)
✨ 3rd pic is my dessert, high fat vanilla curd (my new addiction🤤) and a gf kinda kitkat bar🤤
[4th pic was part of my #afternoonsnack : a sourdough sandwich, cottage cheese and this huge bowl of vanilla curd]
Our first day was pretty much chilled, we went to the beach and I collected some seashells. Idk even why, I'm not a kid anymore; but everytime I come to a beach, I start collecting some. It's calming me down and in those moments my mind is free. No bad thoughts, no ED telling me what I should be doing or not; just a happy & blessed Maria🤞🏼 And that's a huge reminder for me, cause this is the side of me, I'm fighting for every freaking day💪🏼🕊
This vacay is showing me over and over again, that there's more to me than just my ED. There's a little girl, who wants to grow up and become a young women, filled with energy and strength.🤞🏼
The last time I was here, I wasn't at that point of life and that was rly sad, cause I always loved coming back to Egmond, but I just couldn't enjoy life and the vacay. 
But now I got another chance, I survived and I'm might still fighting, but I'm at another point at least🤞🏼 [gonna update a post bout those topics the next days✌🏼]
Rn I'm just gonna relax and enjoy the heavenly good wheather! Anorexia nervosa, who?! I'm more than this illness!💪🏼🕊⚡️
Hope you all have a blessed evening as well✌🏼✨
Lots of love, M🕊♥️
#ed #anorexia #edfamily #anorexiafighter #anorexiafood #againstanorexia #recovery #recoveryjourney #edfighter #lifewtihed #lifesftered #fuckanorexia #eatingdisorder #survive #food #foodblogger #anorexiaandfood #foodcraving #cravings #lifestyle #easter #easterlove #spreadlove #lovefood #kickanasass
  • Good evening guyyz🌙
    First day in Egmond aan Zee is soon over✌🏼
    1st two pics are showing our heavenly #dinner : ratatouille with northsea shrimps🤤
    Recipe:
    -2cups potatoes
    -1 large eggplant
    -1 large zucchini
    -2 cups mushrooms
    - 1 large onion
    -3 cups tomato sauce
    -olive oil
    1. start frying the onion and the eggplant
    2. add the potatoes and zucchini
    3. add the mushrooms
    4. when the ingredients are fried, pour in the tomato sauce
    5. let the ingredients boil, add your spices (salt, pepper, french herbals etc.)
    ✨ 3rd pic is my dessert, high fat vanilla curd (my new addiction🤤) and a gf kinda kitkat bar🤤
    [4th pic was part of my #afternoonsnack : a sourdough sandwich, cottage cheese and this huge bowl of vanilla curd]
    Our first day was pretty much chilled, we went to the beach and I collected some seashells. Idk even why, I'm not a kid anymore; but everytime I come to a beach, I start collecting some. It's calming me down and in those moments my mind is free. No bad thoughts, no ED telling me what I should be doing or not; just a happy & blessed Maria🤞🏼 And that's a huge reminder for me, cause this is the side of me, I'm fighting for every freaking day💪🏼🕊
    This vacay is showing me over and over again, that there's more to me than just my ED. There's a little girl, who wants to grow up and become a young women, filled with energy and strength.🤞🏼
    The last time I was here, I wasn't at that point of life and that was rly sad, cause I always loved coming back to Egmond, but I just couldn't enjoy life and the vacay.
    But now I got another chance, I survived and I'm might still fighting, but I'm at another point at least🤞🏼 [gonna update a post bout those topics the next days✌🏼]
    Rn I'm just gonna relax and enjoy the heavenly good wheather! Anorexia nervosa, who?! I'm more than this illness!💪🏼🕊⚡️
    Hope you all have a blessed evening as well✌🏼✨
    Lots of love, M🕊♥️
    #ed #anorexia #edfamily #anorexiafighter #anorexiafood #againstanorexia #recovery #recoveryjourney #edfighter #lifewtihed #lifesftered #fuckanorexia #eatingdisorder #survive #food #foodblogger #anorexiaandfood #foodcraving #cravings #lifestyle #easter #easterlove #spreadlove #lovefood #kickanasass
  •  24  2  22 April, 2019

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  • [#ad ,but bought on my own]
Good morning guyzz🌤
I know it's pretty early, and to be honest I'm in a rush✌🏼
(that's why the pics today aren't that pretty🐣)
We're soon gonna be on or way to the Netherlands✌🏼✨ It's kinda a tradition in my fam to go to the Netherlands during easter holidays⚡️I'm already excited, eating during holdiays is way much easier for me😏 I don't know why; probably cause there are not much people I know, around me✌🏼 Adding up to this the food (especially the glutenfree) is rly amazing there🤞🏼🌩
We'll have to drive round about 5 hours and my maman is already preparing some food cause we're probably gonna miss out lunch✌🏼🤤
But I'm also gonna take some with me; two granola bars, a banana and some cookies😏✌🏼
We're always listing to audiobooks during long car rides...Do you also do sth with your fam while car rides? Or are you doing stuff on your own?✨🐣
Anyways; Wishing you all a great easter monday✌🏼♥️
Lots of love, M🕊♥️
#ed #anorexia #edfamily #anorexiafighter #anorexiafood #againstanorexia #recovery #recoveryjourney #edfighter #lifewtihed #lifesftered #fuckanorexia #eatingdisorder #survive #food #foodblogger #anorexiaandfood #foodcraving #cravings #lifestyle #easter #easterlove #spreadlove
  • [ #ad ,but bought on my own]
    Good morning guyzz🌤
    I know it's pretty early, and to be honest I'm in a rush✌🏼
    (that's why the pics today aren't that pretty🐣)
    We're soon gonna be on or way to the Netherlands✌🏼✨ It's kinda a tradition in my fam to go to the Netherlands during easter holidays⚡️I'm already excited, eating during holdiays is way much easier for me😏 I don't know why; probably cause there are not much people I know, around me✌🏼 Adding up to this the food (especially the glutenfree) is rly amazing there🤞🏼🌩
    We'll have to drive round about 5 hours and my maman is already preparing some food cause we're probably gonna miss out lunch✌🏼🤤
    But I'm also gonna take some with me; two granola bars, a banana and some cookies😏✌🏼
    We're always listing to audiobooks during long car rides...Do you also do sth with your fam while car rides? Or are you doing stuff on your own?✨🐣
    Anyways; Wishing you all a great easter monday✌🏼♥️
    Lots of love, M🕊♥️
    #ed #anorexia #edfamily #anorexiafighter #anorexiafood #againstanorexia #recovery #recoveryjourney #edfighter #lifewtihed #lifesftered #fuckanorexia #eatingdisorder #survive #food #foodblogger #anorexiaandfood #foodcraving #cravings #lifestyle #easter #easterlove #spreadlove
  •  31  2  22 April, 2019
  • Good evening guyyz🌙
I don't know what was wrong with me today🙃
Why had ED to do this to me? Why? It's easter sunday, I was with my fam? Why on such a beautiful day? ⚡️
But I guess this is (sadly) a part of the journey. I can't control my feelings⚡️
But there's a tomorrow, waiting for me, a better one🤞🏼
I realized how stupid my breakdown during lunch was- and this is at least a step forwards🤞🏼
After lunch we drove home and I thougt a lot bout life✌🏼 I want to live🕊 And that was the moment the day started getting better✨
I was hungry and I listened to my body. I ate my first afternnonsnack. 
But I craved for more, so I ate another one✌🏼 And then I had 2 supplement bars✨ 
Later, to compensate the failed easter lunch, we had 2 different dishes for dinner. 
One was pasta with pesto, mixed veggies& shrimps (2nd pic); the other one was our left over curry, bread, high fat curd & cream cheese✌🏼
And... nothing happend... there's no feeling of guilt or anything💪🏼
I'm filled with joy acutally✌🏼 Sure I could cry bout lunch today, but this feeling atm shows me, there's still a chance✌🏼⚡️ A chance to win back my "old me".💪🏼 And there's still enough time left to celebrate easter sunday🐰🐰🐰
Guyyz, I'm so happy rn🐣
Hope you're all having a great time as well✌🏼✨
Lots of love, M🕊♥️
#ed #anorexia #edfamily #anorexiafighter #anorexiafood #againstanorexia #recovery #recoveryjourney #edfighter #lifewtihed #lifesftered #fuckanorexia #eatingdisorder #survive #food #foodblogger #anorexiaandfood #foodcraving #cravings #lifestyle #easter #easterlove #spreadlove
  • Good evening guyyz🌙
    I don't know what was wrong with me today🙃
    Why had ED to do this to me? Why? It's easter sunday, I was with my fam? Why on such a beautiful day? ⚡️
    But I guess this is (sadly) a part of the journey. I can't control my feelings⚡️
    But there's a tomorrow, waiting for me, a better one🤞🏼
    I realized how stupid my breakdown during lunch was- and this is at least a step forwards🤞🏼
    After lunch we drove home and I thougt a lot bout life✌🏼 I want to live🕊 And that was the moment the day started getting better✨
    I was hungry and I listened to my body. I ate my first afternnonsnack.
    But I craved for more, so I ate another one✌🏼 And then I had 2 supplement bars✨
    Later, to compensate the failed easter lunch, we had 2 different dishes for dinner.
    One was pasta with pesto, mixed veggies& shrimps (2nd pic); the other one was our left over curry, bread, high fat curd & cream cheese✌🏼
    And... nothing happend... there's no feeling of guilt or anything💪🏼
    I'm filled with joy acutally✌🏼 Sure I could cry bout lunch today, but this feeling atm shows me, there's still a chance✌🏼⚡️ A chance to win back my "old me".💪🏼 And there's still enough time left to celebrate easter sunday🐰🐰🐰
    Guyyz, I'm so happy rn🐣
    Hope you're all having a great time as well✌🏼✨
    Lots of love, M🕊♥️
    #ed #anorexia #edfamily #anorexiafighter #anorexiafood #againstanorexia #recovery #recoveryjourney #edfighter #lifewtihed #lifesftered #fuckanorexia #eatingdisorder #survive #food #foodblogger #anorexiaandfood #foodcraving #cravings #lifestyle #easter #easterlove #spreadlove
  •  35  2  21 April, 2019
  • Happy Easter Sunday🐰
Being honest with you guyyz, nothing worked it as supposed to be⚡️
As you might have seen, we ate out for lunch✌🏼
First everything seemed to work well, I even challenged myself to drink a glass of grape juice✌🏼
but then everything went down⚡️
There was literally nothing to eat for me, so I ended up with my maman ordering my food (she had the same)⚡️
When the salad arrived, everything changed (TW), the mushrooms&onions were fried, and there was oil all over the plate⚡️
I managed to eat like 2-3 mushrooms and the greens ⚡️ We also brought some pretzels and bread with us (glutenfree) and I also ate some of them✌🏼
But my feelings are down,
I've a mental breakdown,
but I can't show it to anyone, cause my whole fam is there⚡️
But I promised my maman & me to eat something when we're back home🤞🏼✨ (TW ending)
It's so sad, that everything went down, cause the morning actually started well, I mean look at this heavenly morning snack (3rd pic) ⚡️
But I'll try, try to fight the guilt, keep going on. And eat eventhough the "accident" happend✌🏼🤞🏼♥️
Hope you can enjoy your day! I'll try to✌🏼
Lots of love, M🕊♥️
#ed #anorexia #edfamily #anorexiafighter #anorexiafood #againstanorexia #recovery #recoveryjourney #edfighter #lifewtihed #lifesftered #fuckanorexia #eatingdisorder #survive #food #foodblogger #anorexiaandfood #foodcraving #cravings #lifestyle #easter #easterlove #spreadlove
  • Happy Easter Sunday🐰
    Being honest with you guyyz, nothing worked it as supposed to be⚡️
    As you might have seen, we ate out for lunch✌🏼
    First everything seemed to work well, I even challenged myself to drink a glass of grape juice✌🏼
    but then everything went down⚡️
    There was literally nothing to eat for me, so I ended up with my maman ordering my food (she had the same)⚡️
    When the salad arrived, everything changed (TW), the mushrooms&onions were fried, and there was oil all over the plate⚡️
    I managed to eat like 2-3 mushrooms and the greens ⚡️ We also brought some pretzels and bread with us (glutenfree) and I also ate some of them✌🏼
    But my feelings are down,
    I've a mental breakdown,
    but I can't show it to anyone, cause my whole fam is there⚡️
    But I promised my maman & me to eat something when we're back home🤞🏼✨ (TW ending)
    It's so sad, that everything went down, cause the morning actually started well, I mean look at this heavenly morning snack (3rd pic) ⚡️
    But I'll try, try to fight the guilt, keep going on. And eat eventhough the "accident" happend✌🏼🤞🏼♥️
    Hope you can enjoy your day! I'll try to✌🏼
    Lots of love, M🕊♥️
    #ed #anorexia #edfamily #anorexiafighter #anorexiafood #againstanorexia #recovery #recoveryjourney #edfighter #lifewtihed #lifesftered #fuckanorexia #eatingdisorder #survive #food #foodblogger #anorexiaandfood #foodcraving #cravings #lifestyle #easter #easterlove #spreadlove
  •  30  0  21 April, 2019
  • ~W~H~Y~?~M~E~?~
⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️
A question a lot of people (especially with ED) have stuck in their minds🌩
But this post isn't actually ment to be about ED. 
Being honest, it feels like everything has been stolen from me. My childhood, my teen years..
I had to grow up so fast cause of my chronical (and ofc my mental) diseases.
When I was just 1 1/2 years old my first chronical disease was discovered; coeliac condition; meaning I'm not able to eat gluten, if I do, my intestinal villi getting destoryed and I could die🌩
But it didn't stopped there, 
until now it's like their discovering every few years a new diesease⚡️
I got diabetes, hashimoto, cardiac insufficiency, kidney failure and gastritis as well. And all of my diseases bring a lot of side effects like skin sepsis, throwing up etc., with them.
I never was a person complaining bout how worse their life is and how ill I'm acutally. Cause for me this would feel like weakness.
But I have to admit, I'm often crying cause it get's too much. I have to take so much care of myself, checking my blood glucose every 2 hours, taking pills 1 hour before breakfast... And I'm not really able to eat outside. There are so many (delicious) things I never been able to try. While others can easily go to a bakery and eat a donut, I'm only able to eat packaged pastries. You might have tried glutenfree food once, and it's definetly not the same compared to "normal" food.
Adding up to this, during my first recovery we found out, that there's a study showing that every third girl with diabetes gets some kind of an eating disorder!!! But when you get diagnosed they ofc don't tell you bout those risks! 🌩
But if it was not enough I was one of those "third girls".
And my body who's already so busy with all of my diseases, can't really handle with my ED as well. I know there's a risk for everybody with ED, to die. But when it comes to me I think I died, because my body was too overstrained...
Ofc I often ask myself, why me? Why did I have to get all of these stupid things? Why am I that ill?
But I'm learning by every day passing by.
I'm learning to accept my diseases and to help my body dealing with them!
And that's where the most⬇️
  • ~W~H~Y~?~M~E~?~
    ⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️
    A question a lot of people (especially with ED) have stuck in their minds🌩
    But this post isn't actually ment to be about ED.
    Being honest, it feels like everything has been stolen from me. My childhood, my teen years..
    I had to grow up so fast cause of my chronical (and ofc my mental) diseases.
    When I was just 1 1/2 years old my first chronical disease was discovered; coeliac condition; meaning I'm not able to eat gluten, if I do, my intestinal villi getting destoryed and I could die🌩
    But it didn't stopped there,
    until now it's like their discovering every few years a new diesease⚡️
    I got diabetes, hashimoto, cardiac insufficiency, kidney failure and gastritis as well. And all of my diseases bring a lot of side effects like skin sepsis, throwing up etc., with them.
    I never was a person complaining bout how worse their life is and how ill I'm acutally. Cause for me this would feel like weakness.
    But I have to admit, I'm often crying cause it get's too much. I have to take so much care of myself, checking my blood glucose every 2 hours, taking pills 1 hour before breakfast... And I'm not really able to eat outside. There are so many (delicious) things I never been able to try. While others can easily go to a bakery and eat a donut, I'm only able to eat packaged pastries. You might have tried glutenfree food once, and it's definetly not the same compared to "normal" food.
    Adding up to this, during my first recovery we found out, that there's a study showing that every third girl with diabetes gets some kind of an eating disorder!!! But when you get diagnosed they ofc don't tell you bout those risks! 🌩
    But if it was not enough I was one of those "third girls".
    And my body who's already so busy with all of my diseases, can't really handle with my ED as well. I know there's a risk for everybody with ED, to die. But when it comes to me I think I died, because my body was too overstrained...
    Ofc I often ask myself, why me? Why did I have to get all of these stupid things? Why am I that ill?
    But I'm learning by every day passing by.
    I'm learning to accept my diseases and to help my body dealing with them!
    And that's where the most⬇️
  •  29  6  21 April, 2019
  • Happy Easter, guyyz🐣
I hope you all will have a great and blessed day as well♥️
We've already started easter morning with a huge breakfast✌🏼
Have to admit it was a huge challenge for me to eat breakfast this morning cause we're gonna dine out for lunch later✌🏼⚡️
I was really surprised cause I got a lot of gifts and that's not really usual for my fam (my parents don't think easter is that important, so they usually think, gifts are overrated and not important⚡️) But I guess they wanna support me and trying to make this day (lunch!!!) easier for me🤞🏼
I got a few giftcards, like the one in pic 2 (it's for pedicure), my fav body cream from rituals
AND my fav choc🌩 Always loved Lindt chocolate, the taste is just the best, but my parents mainly buy organic food, so I don't get it too often⚡️
Adding up to this I got some vegan easter gummy bears (I don't rly like gummy bears✌🏼) But I'll give them a try✌🏼💪🏼
Atm I'm not trying to focus on easter lunch later, eventhough I'm super nervous bout it⚡️
But I'll try to do my best💪🏼 Enjoying the time with my fam, my nana, my aunt✨
It's a beautiful day and who knows how next year's easter will look like🤞🏼
Do you also dine out today?✨
Hope you all have a great day, a lot of strength💪🏼 #letskickanasass 
Lots of love, M🕊♥️
#ed #anorexia #edfamily #anorexiafighter #anorexiafood #againstanorexia #recovery #recoveryjourney #edfighter #lifewtihed #lifesftered #fuckanorexia #eatingdisorder #survive #food #foodblogger #anorexiaandfood #foodcraving #cravings #lifestyle #easter #easterlove #spreadlove
  • Happy Easter, guyyz🐣
    I hope you all will have a great and blessed day as well♥️
    We've already started easter morning with a huge breakfast✌🏼
    Have to admit it was a huge challenge for me to eat breakfast this morning cause we're gonna dine out for lunch later✌🏼⚡️
    I was really surprised cause I got a lot of gifts and that's not really usual for my fam (my parents don't think easter is that important, so they usually think, gifts are overrated and not important⚡️) But I guess they wanna support me and trying to make this day (lunch!!!) easier for me🤞🏼
    I got a few giftcards, like the one in pic 2 (it's for pedicure), my fav body cream from rituals
    AND my fav choc🌩 Always loved Lindt chocolate, the taste is just the best, but my parents mainly buy organic food, so I don't get it too often⚡️
    Adding up to this I got some vegan easter gummy bears (I don't rly like gummy bears✌🏼) But I'll give them a try✌🏼💪🏼
    Atm I'm not trying to focus on easter lunch later, eventhough I'm super nervous bout it⚡️
    But I'll try to do my best💪🏼 Enjoying the time with my fam, my nana, my aunt✨
    It's a beautiful day and who knows how next year's easter will look like🤞🏼
    Do you also dine out today?✨
    Hope you all have a great day, a lot of strength💪🏼 #letskickanasass
    Lots of love, M🕊♥️
    #ed #anorexia #edfamily #anorexiafighter #anorexiafood #againstanorexia #recovery #recoveryjourney #edfighter #lifewtihed #lifesftered #fuckanorexia #eatingdisorder #survive #food #foodblogger #anorexiaandfood #foodcraving #cravings #lifestyle #easter #easterlove #spreadlove
  •  29  1  21 April, 2019
  • Good Evening Guyyz✌🏼
We had early dinner/ late lunch😂✌🏼 cause we just came back from downtown🕊
A whole day of shopping is done and guyyz... I'm done too, but I promised my maman I'd help her clean our house🤞🏼 So guess who's not having time to relax🌩
Our dinner was rice with a vegan cauliflower-tomato- curry🌩
Recipe:
- 5cups cauliflower
- 5 large carrots
- 1 large bell pepper
- 1 onion
- 1 can tomato sauce
- 2 cups tomatoes
- yellow curry, pepper, salt
- 1 tsp soy sauce
Cut the ingredients, start with frying the onion, then the carrots and bell pepper, while frying, boil the cauliflower in a different pot.
When the things in your first pot are fried, add the tomato sauce and the tomatoes and let the ingredients boil.
After the cauliflower is boiled as well, also mix it in the first pot. At the end add your spices (and if you want, also tofu✌🏼)
You can eat the curry with litteraly everything; rice, pasta, polenta⚡️ Well this is my first recipe (created on my own) I posted✌🏼 Do you like it?🕊
Btw if you're wondering what I ate downtown, I had alot of snacks with me; sandwich, raw bars, pretzels and a lot more✌🏼
Hope you all have a good evening as well🕊🤞🏼
Lots of love, M🕊♥️
#ed #anorexia #edfamily #anorexiafighter #anorexiafood #againstanorexia #recovery #recoveryjourney #edfighter #lifewtihed #lifesftered #fuckanorexia #eatingdisorder #survive #food #foodblogger #anorexiaandfood #foodcraving #cravings #lifestyle #recipe #healthy #healthyfood #vegan #veganfood
  • Good Evening Guyyz✌🏼
    We had early dinner/ late lunch😂✌🏼 cause we just came back from downtown🕊
    A whole day of shopping is done and guyyz... I'm done too, but I promised my maman I'd help her clean our house🤞🏼 So guess who's not having time to relax🌩
    Our dinner was rice with a vegan cauliflower-tomato- curry🌩
    Recipe:
    - 5cups cauliflower
    - 5 large carrots
    - 1 large bell pepper
    - 1 onion
    - 1 can tomato sauce
    - 2 cups tomatoes
    - yellow curry, pepper, salt
    - 1 tsp soy sauce
    Cut the ingredients, start with frying the onion, then the carrots and bell pepper, while frying, boil the cauliflower in a different pot.
    When the things in your first pot are fried, add the tomato sauce and the tomatoes and let the ingredients boil.
    After the cauliflower is boiled as well, also mix it in the first pot. At the end add your spices (and if you want, also tofu✌🏼)
    You can eat the curry with litteraly everything; rice, pasta, polenta⚡️ Well this is my first recipe (created on my own) I posted✌🏼 Do you like it?🕊
    Btw if you're wondering what I ate downtown, I had alot of snacks with me; sandwich, raw bars, pretzels and a lot more✌🏼
    Hope you all have a good evening as well🕊🤞🏼
    Lots of love, M🕊♥️
    #ed #anorexia #edfamily #anorexiafighter #anorexiafood #againstanorexia #recovery #recoveryjourney #edfighter #lifewtihed #lifesftered #fuckanorexia #eatingdisorder #survive #food #foodblogger #anorexiaandfood #foodcraving #cravings #lifestyle #recipe #healthy #healthyfood #vegan #veganfood
  •  30  0  20 April, 2019
  • ~E~X~E~R~C~I~S~E~
In our modern society, exercising has become a huge topic⚡️
People who've never done sports in their life now going to the gym up to once a day. A "healthy" lifestyle, getting a sixpack or at least some more muscles seems to be "important" these day. All over social media you can see diets like low carb, counting calories/points etc...
But facing the truth, this is not how we're supposed to be! Weight, gaining muscles, etc. is mostly based on our DNA. I know so many people, who're training like every day, but still aren't able to get a sixpack⚡️
And seriously; is a sixpack that important and beautiful, to push yourself through all the tortue, you'll have to go through?⚡️
For a long time I thought, it was⚡️ I pushed myself through the tortue of exercising every day....
Started training like 1 hour a day, but didn't stop there⚡️ It took more and more time of my days. 
At the end I was exercising (TW!!!) up to 8 hours throughout my days. 
And guess what; yes, I got a lot of muscles...
But more important: I lost an amount of friends cause I didn't had time for them! Adding up: The overdose of exercise made me really depressive⚡️
There was not time and joy for anything, all I was thinking bout was how I'll survive the next hour of exercising!⚡️
And ashamedly admitting: I was not the one who stopped myself from this tortue🌩
It was my maman who stopped me!All of the time I hid the lots of exercises I actually done from my parents. But one day she came home earlier from work and found me crying during an exercise, cause I couldn't really take it no more🌩
Then there was about a half year, I wasn't doing exercise at all. 
But I won't and don't wanna lie to you, there are still time periodes where I start overexercising!
I'm a human growing muscels super fast, but as soons as I quit working out, I loose them again.🙃
But what about exercises during recovery?
I've been doing all my life sports. It helps me to clean my thoughts. 
But I have to be honest; I don't think you should exercise during recovery, especially at the beginning🌩
Atm I'm just doing once a week ballet class. It helps me a lot, lerning about my body and gives me a feeling for it🤞🏼 ⬇️
  • ~E~X~E~R~C~I~S~E~
    In our modern society, exercising has become a huge topic⚡️
    People who've never done sports in their life now going to the gym up to once a day. A "healthy" lifestyle, getting a sixpack or at least some more muscles seems to be "important" these day. All over social media you can see diets like low carb, counting calories/points etc...
    But facing the truth, this is not how we're supposed to be! Weight, gaining muscles, etc. is mostly based on our DNA. I know so many people, who're training like every day, but still aren't able to get a sixpack⚡️
    And seriously; is a sixpack that important and beautiful, to push yourself through all the tortue, you'll have to go through?⚡️
    For a long time I thought, it was⚡️ I pushed myself through the tortue of exercising every day....
    Started training like 1 hour a day, but didn't stop there⚡️ It took more and more time of my days.
    At the end I was exercising (TW!!!) up to 8 hours throughout my days.
    And guess what; yes, I got a lot of muscles...
    But more important: I lost an amount of friends cause I didn't had time for them! Adding up: The overdose of exercise made me really depressive⚡️
    There was not time and joy for anything, all I was thinking bout was how I'll survive the next hour of exercising!⚡️
    And ashamedly admitting: I was not the one who stopped myself from this tortue🌩
    It was my maman who stopped me!All of the time I hid the lots of exercises I actually done from my parents. But one day she came home earlier from work and found me crying during an exercise, cause I couldn't really take it no more🌩
    Then there was about a half year, I wasn't doing exercise at all.
    But I won't and don't wanna lie to you, there are still time periodes where I start overexercising!
    I'm a human growing muscels super fast, but as soons as I quit working out, I loose them again.🙃
    But what about exercises during recovery?
    I've been doing all my life sports. It helps me to clean my thoughts.
    But I have to be honest; I don't think you should exercise during recovery, especially at the beginning🌩
    Atm I'm just doing once a week ballet class. It helps me a lot, lerning about my body and gives me a feeling for it🤞🏼 ⬇️
  •  23  2  20 April, 2019
  • Good afternoon guyyz✨
Just half day is gone and already so much things happend⚡️
One of my best friends visited me today for the first time🤞🏼 we both really enjoyed the time ⚡️ And guess what; eating with her was so easy💪🏼 We made ourself rice bowls (2nd pic) And talked alot bout school and plans... It was so funny🕊 
When she told me she would like to go in town and eat a ice crem I was so scared at first moment I wasn't able to reply⚡️✌🏼 But when we got in town and ordered this huge cup of ice together I was suddelny chilled af⚡️💪🏼 Spending time with her was so good, I "completly" forgot my ED and fears💪🏼
Rn I'm back at home and I'm really hoping I won't feel any guilt after this huge #fearfoodchallenge 😅
But eventually I'm not gonna have much time for guilt, cause my parents are already preparing the food for barbecue later✌🏼 Wishing you all a great afternoon as well🌤
Lots of love, M🕊♥️
#ed #anorexia #edfamily #anorexiafighter #anorexiafood #againstanorexia #recovery #recoveryjourney #edfighter #lifewtihed #lifesftered #fuckanorexia #eatingdisorder #survive #food #foodblogger #anorexiaandfood #foodcraving #cravings #lifestyle
  • Good afternoon guyyz✨
    Just half day is gone and already so much things happend⚡️
    One of my best friends visited me today for the first time🤞🏼 we both really enjoyed the time ⚡️ And guess what; eating with her was so easy💪🏼 We made ourself rice bowls (2nd pic) And talked alot bout school and plans... It was so funny🕊
    When she told me she would like to go in town and eat a ice crem I was so scared at first moment I wasn't able to reply⚡️✌🏼 But when we got in town and ordered this huge cup of ice together I was suddelny chilled af⚡️💪🏼 Spending time with her was so good, I "completly" forgot my ED and fears💪🏼
    Rn I'm back at home and I'm really hoping I won't feel any guilt after this huge #fearfoodchallenge 😅
    But eventually I'm not gonna have much time for guilt, cause my parents are already preparing the food for barbecue later✌🏼 Wishing you all a great afternoon as well🌤
    Lots of love, M🕊♥️
    #ed #anorexia #edfamily #anorexiafighter #anorexiafood #againstanorexia #recovery #recoveryjourney #edfighter #lifewtihed #lifesftered #fuckanorexia #eatingdisorder #survive #food #foodblogger #anorexiaandfood #foodcraving #cravings #lifestyle
  •  32  7  19 April, 2019
  • Good morning guyyz🌤
Breakfast was a sourdough sandwich with cottage cheese, a hugo bowl of choc chip cereal, soy yog, berries, banana and of course a latte macchiato🤞🏼✨
As you might already know; Today was weighing day🤞🏼🌩
Stepping after weeks on a scale was hard, but not as scaring as expected💪🏼
I didn't look at the number, but I know (and my maman told me) it's pretty much down atm⚡️
But I'm fighting and I'll keep on🤞🏼🌩 Breakfast afterwards wasn't as hard as usual (after weight check I usually struggle alot with eating🌩), but rn I'm feeling not too well⚡️
But I'm also excited; one of my best friends from school is finally visting me for the first time✌🏼 I can't say that I've got a lot friends🌩 So she's reallyyy important to me🤞🏼
Adding up to this she's one of the only people at school knowing bout my #ED ⚡️
So I guess it'll be a great day; sun is already shining and we're gonna have a barbecue with some of my parents friends later✌🏼
Wishing you all a blessed morning✨
Lots of love, M🕊♥️
#ed #anorexia #edfamily #anorexiafighter #anorexiafood #againstanorexia #recovery #recoveryjourney #edfighter #lifewtihed #lifesftered #fuckanorexia #eatingdisorder #survive #food #foodblogger #anorexiaandfood #foodcraving #cravings #lifestyle
  • Good morning guyyz🌤
    Breakfast was a sourdough sandwich with cottage cheese, a hugo bowl of choc chip cereal, soy yog, berries, banana and of course a latte macchiato🤞🏼✨
    As you might already know; Today was weighing day🤞🏼🌩
    Stepping after weeks on a scale was hard, but not as scaring as expected💪🏼
    I didn't look at the number, but I know (and my maman told me) it's pretty much down atm⚡️
    But I'm fighting and I'll keep on🤞🏼🌩 Breakfast afterwards wasn't as hard as usual (after weight check I usually struggle alot with eating🌩), but rn I'm feeling not too well⚡️
    But I'm also excited; one of my best friends from school is finally visting me for the first time✌🏼 I can't say that I've got a lot friends🌩 So she's reallyyy important to me🤞🏼
    Adding up to this she's one of the only people at school knowing bout my #ED ⚡️
    So I guess it'll be a great day; sun is already shining and we're gonna have a barbecue with some of my parents friends later✌🏼
    Wishing you all a blessed morning✨
    Lots of love, M🕊♥️
    #ed #anorexia #edfamily #anorexiafighter #anorexiafood #againstanorexia #recovery #recoveryjourney #edfighter #lifewtihed #lifesftered #fuckanorexia #eatingdisorder #survive #food #foodblogger #anorexiaandfood #foodcraving #cravings #lifestyle
  •  31  2  19 April, 2019
  • Goood evening guyyzz🌙♥️
Holiday season is finally on⚡️⚡️⚡️
1st pic's showing my dinner, a baasic sandwich, cucumber, radish and a latte macchiato (had dinner earlier cause I had therapy at 6pm✌🏼)
2nd pic's showing my afternoonsnack; soy yog, blackberry ice (#fearfood) and also a latte✌🏼✨
Dinner didn't went as well as supposed, cause I'm already nervous bout weighing tomorrow morning🙃
I nearly cried and maman and me had a lil arguement bout my time at clinic🙃 She thinks I'm eating not enough atm, based on the fact that of course she isn't able to see every food I intake⚡️ She doesn't really trust me cause the past months I threw away lots of food⚡️ But she also said she knows how hard I fight atm, so at the end everything went well🤞🏼 Adding upt to this: we bought some fresubin and high caloric bars, in case I'm not able to eat🙃 At therapy we talked about my stuggles and my battle and it was such a blessing🤞🏼 I love my therapist so much✨ We talked bout my upcoming family vacay and easter lunch cause I'm bit scared atm bout them🙃 She gave me advices  and convinced me to talk to my parents bout those feares🤞🏼 Maybe I'm gonna do this later✌🏼 rn my maman & I are on pur way to a DIY store cause we need a few things for our barbecue tomorrow🕊 
Wishing you all a blessed & chilled evening✨
Lots of love, M🕊♥️
#ed #anorexia #edfamily #anorexiafighter #anorexiafood #againstanorexia #recovery #recoveryjourney #edfighter #lifewtihed #lifesftered #fuckanorexia #eatingdisorder #survive #food #foodblogger #anorexiaandfood #foodcraving #cravings #lifestyle
  • Goood evening guyyzz🌙♥️
    Holiday season is finally on⚡️⚡️⚡️
    1st pic's showing my dinner, a baasic sandwich, cucumber, radish and a latte macchiato (had dinner earlier cause I had therapy at 6pm✌🏼)
    2nd pic's showing my afternoonsnack; soy yog, blackberry ice ( #fearfood) and also a latte✌🏼✨
    Dinner didn't went as well as supposed, cause I'm already nervous bout weighing tomorrow morning🙃
    I nearly cried and maman and me had a lil arguement bout my time at clinic🙃 She thinks I'm eating not enough atm, based on the fact that of course she isn't able to see every food I intake⚡️ She doesn't really trust me cause the past months I threw away lots of food⚡️ But she also said she knows how hard I fight atm, so at the end everything went well🤞🏼 Adding upt to this: we bought some fresubin and high caloric bars, in case I'm not able to eat🙃 At therapy we talked about my stuggles and my battle and it was such a blessing🤞🏼 I love my therapist so much✨ We talked bout my upcoming family vacay and easter lunch cause I'm bit scared atm bout them🙃 She gave me advices and convinced me to talk to my parents bout those feares🤞🏼 Maybe I'm gonna do this later✌🏼 rn my maman & I are on pur way to a DIY store cause we need a few things for our barbecue tomorrow🕊
    Wishing you all a blessed & chilled evening✨
    Lots of love, M🕊♥️
    #ed #anorexia #edfamily #anorexiafighter #anorexiafood #againstanorexia #recovery #recoveryjourney #edfighter #lifewtihed #lifesftered #fuckanorexia #eatingdisorder #survive #food #foodblogger #anorexiaandfood #foodcraving #cravings #lifestyle
  •  34  4  18 April, 2019
  • ~S~C~H~O~O~L~
Yep, that's a pic of my full packed schoolbag✌🏼⚡️#tooheavy ~How do I deal with it?~
First of all I'm really good at school. My grades are good and I get along with all of my teachers.
But eventhough this all sounds well, I have to admid that I've got major problems with school, especially with long school days⚡️
I had social phobia for a long time, so the crowd of students at school still scaring me⚡️ they're all so loud and annoying me🌩 It's not like I wouldn't get along with them, but during long school days this feelings put huge pressure on me. So I often leave school earlier, but afterwards I feel guilty for that cause it feels like I lost a battle🌩 But I've quite got some skills how to deal with it✌🏼 I always have art stuff with me and when all gets too much I start drawing. It calms me down and gives me power and the ability to stay strong💪🏼 Weird fact: lil snacks during school day also helping me alot🤞🏼 I've recently started a list in my book, "how to deal with school"; do you wanna see it soon?
Are you still at school? And if yes, how do you deal with it?
Wishing you a great afternoon filled with joy and peace✌🏼
Lots of love, M🕊♥️
#ed #anorexia #edfamily #anorexiafighter #anorexiafood #againstanorexia #recovery #recoveryjourney #edfighter #lifewtihed #lifesftered #fuckanorexia #eatingdisorder #survive #food #foodblogger #anorexiaandfood #foodcraving #cravings #lifestyle
  • ~S~C~H~O~O~L~
    Yep, that's a pic of my full packed schoolbag✌🏼⚡️ #tooheavy ~How do I deal with it?~
    First of all I'm really good at school. My grades are good and I get along with all of my teachers.
    But eventhough this all sounds well, I have to admid that I've got major problems with school, especially with long school days⚡️
    I had social phobia for a long time, so the crowd of students at school still scaring me⚡️ they're all so loud and annoying me🌩 It's not like I wouldn't get along with them, but during long school days this feelings put huge pressure on me. So I often leave school earlier, but afterwards I feel guilty for that cause it feels like I lost a battle🌩 But I've quite got some skills how to deal with it✌🏼 I always have art stuff with me and when all gets too much I start drawing. It calms me down and gives me power and the ability to stay strong💪🏼 Weird fact: lil snacks during school day also helping me alot🤞🏼 I've recently started a list in my book, "how to deal with school"; do you wanna see it soon?
    Are you still at school? And if yes, how do you deal with it?
    Wishing you a great afternoon filled with joy and peace✌🏼
    Lots of love, M🕊♥️
    #ed #anorexia #edfamily #anorexiafighter #anorexiafood #againstanorexia #recovery #recoveryjourney #edfighter #lifewtihed #lifesftered #fuckanorexia #eatingdisorder #survive #food #foodblogger #anorexiaandfood #foodcraving #cravings #lifestyle
  •  24  3  18 April, 2019
  • Good morning Guyyz🌤
1st pic showing my breakfast including two sourdough sandwiches (fav type of bread✨) with cottagecheese, a bowl of soy yog with choc chips and 1/2 banana and a latte macchiato
2nd pic showing my food prep for lunch at school; polenta with mixed bell peppers, tuna and cottagecheese✨
Yess, it's my last schoolday before easter holdiays start, but my school decided that we'll still have the whole day⚡️ #thetroubleisreal 
I'm already nervous cause yesterday I came home earlier and I've already been missing out a lot of schooltime during the last few weeks✌🏼 Well, guess I have to challenge myself staying the whole day🤞🏼💪🏼 Also tomorrow is weighing day and I'm really scared. My maman is gonna weigh me before breakfast and I won't see the number, but I already struggle alot with stepping on a scale⚡️
But I'll try not to waste too mich time thinking bout it and eat anyway🤞🏼
Wishing you all a blessed morning🌤
Lots of love, M🕊♥️
#ed #anorexia #edfamily #anorexiafighter #anorexiafood #againstanorexia #recovery #recoveryjourney #edfighter #lifewtihed #lifesftered #fuckanorexia #eatingdisorder #survive #food #foodblogger #anorexiaandfood #foodcraving #cravings #lifestyle
  • Good morning Guyyz🌤
    1st pic showing my breakfast including two sourdough sandwiches (fav type of bread✨) with cottagecheese, a bowl of soy yog with choc chips and 1/2 banana and a latte macchiato
    2nd pic showing my food prep for lunch at school; polenta with mixed bell peppers, tuna and cottagecheese✨
    Yess, it's my last schoolday before easter holdiays start, but my school decided that we'll still have the whole day⚡️ #thetroubleisreal
    I'm already nervous cause yesterday I came home earlier and I've already been missing out a lot of schooltime during the last few weeks✌🏼 Well, guess I have to challenge myself staying the whole day🤞🏼💪🏼 Also tomorrow is weighing day and I'm really scared. My maman is gonna weigh me before breakfast and I won't see the number, but I already struggle alot with stepping on a scale⚡️
    But I'll try not to waste too mich time thinking bout it and eat anyway🤞🏼
    Wishing you all a blessed morning🌤
    Lots of love, M🕊♥️
    #ed #anorexia #edfamily #anorexiafighter #anorexiafood #againstanorexia #recovery #recoveryjourney #edfighter #lifewtihed #lifesftered #fuckanorexia #eatingdisorder #survive #food #foodblogger #anorexiaandfood #foodcraving #cravings #lifestyle
  •  30  7  18 April, 2019
  • Good evening Guyyz🌙
1st pic shows my #afternoonsnack : a heavenly bowl with blackberry ice cream, cottage cheese and a latte macchiato
2nd pic shows my dinner: a bread with curd, a tomatoe, tuna and yoghurt with chocolate chips✨
As you might have seen in my story; I managed to do a lil #fearfoodchallenge today. It was a huge step, but it was worth it💪🏼 (TW) Needed some extra calories cause my my tummy went crazy and I had to throw up after lunch⚡️
But afterwards everything went well! I guess ice cream still can heal anything✨ 
The appointment with my parenting counselor was great and I acutally think I could be able to trust him🤞🏼✨ this is a huge step cause I'm really bad at meeting & trusting new people. From now on I'm gonna spend 5 hours a week with him⚡️ Gonna be an exciting new experience🕊
Atm I'm watching Lord of the Rings Part 1 with maman. It's my favourite movie and story of all time. J.R.R Tolkiens stories always been an important & supporting part in my life. I listened to them through the hardest times of my life, at the clinic basically every evening⚡️ Well I'm out of context now🤣
Wish you all a blessed evening and a good night🌙
Lots of love, M🕊♥️
#ed #anorexia #edfamily #anorexiafighter #anorexiafood #againstanorexia #recovery #recoveryjourney #edfighter #lifewtihed #lifesftered #fuckanorexia #eatingdisorder #survive #food #foodblogger #anorexiaandfood #foodcraving #cravings #lifestyle
  • Good evening Guyyz🌙
    1st pic shows my #afternoonsnack : a heavenly bowl with blackberry ice cream, cottage cheese and a latte macchiato
    2nd pic shows my dinner: a bread with curd, a tomatoe, tuna and yoghurt with chocolate chips✨
    As you might have seen in my story; I managed to do a lil #fearfoodchallenge today. It was a huge step, but it was worth it💪🏼 (TW) Needed some extra calories cause my my tummy went crazy and I had to throw up after lunch⚡️
    But afterwards everything went well! I guess ice cream still can heal anything✨
    The appointment with my parenting counselor was great and I acutally think I could be able to trust him🤞🏼✨ this is a huge step cause I'm really bad at meeting & trusting new people. From now on I'm gonna spend 5 hours a week with him⚡️ Gonna be an exciting new experience🕊
    Atm I'm watching Lord of the Rings Part 1 with maman. It's my favourite movie and story of all time. J.R.R Tolkiens stories always been an important & supporting part in my life. I listened to them through the hardest times of my life, at the clinic basically every evening⚡️ Well I'm out of context now🤣
    Wish you all a blessed evening and a good night🌙
    Lots of love, M🕊♥️
    #ed #anorexia #edfamily #anorexiafighter #anorexiafood #againstanorexia #recovery #recoveryjourney #edfighter #lifewtihed #lifesftered #fuckanorexia #eatingdisorder #survive #food #foodblogger #anorexiaandfood #foodcraving #cravings #lifestyle
  •  28  5  17 April, 2019
  • Good afternoon Guyyz✨
Lunch was this heavenly bowl of green aspargarus with tomato sauce,tofu and polenta and for dessert a bowl of vanilla pudding, whipped soy cream and strawberries✨
After my maman was pretty calm this morning bout me leaving school earlier. She later got mad at me cause she saw 'how skinny' I am. She said she's hoping we will be able to go trough this journey without a clinic. But she also added up that she's quite not sure if it wouldn't be better for me to go back to a clinic. 
Guess what? I DON'T want to go back to one⚡️
I know I'm able to fight this war at home⚡️🤞🏼 But I have to convince my parents so they'll think the same✨
Later I'll do my first #fearfoodchallenge since I started recovery again!!!⚡️⚡️⚡️ I bought some blackberry ice cream⚡️⚡️⚡️
It'll be part of my snackbowl and I'm already excited🌩 and well a lil bit feared as well🌩 But I know I'm able to do this💪🏼
Wish you all a peaceful afternoon🤞🏼
Lots of love, M🕊♥️
#ed #anorexia #edfamily #anorexiafighter #anorexiafood #againstanorexia #recovery #recoveryjourney #edfighter #lifewtihed #lifesftered #fuckanorexia #eatingdisorder #survive #food #foodblogger #anorexiaandfood #foodcraving #cravings #lifestyle
  • Good afternoon Guyyz✨
    Lunch was this heavenly bowl of green aspargarus with tomato sauce,tofu and polenta and for dessert a bowl of vanilla pudding, whipped soy cream and strawberries✨
    After my maman was pretty calm this morning bout me leaving school earlier. She later got mad at me cause she saw 'how skinny' I am. She said she's hoping we will be able to go trough this journey without a clinic. But she also added up that she's quite not sure if it wouldn't be better for me to go back to a clinic.
    Guess what? I DON'T want to go back to one⚡️
    I know I'm able to fight this war at home⚡️🤞🏼 But I have to convince my parents so they'll think the same✨
    Later I'll do my first #fearfoodchallenge since I started recovery again!!!⚡️⚡️⚡️ I bought some blackberry ice cream⚡️⚡️⚡️
    It'll be part of my snackbowl and I'm already excited🌩 and well a lil bit feared as well🌩 But I know I'm able to do this💪🏼
    Wish you all a peaceful afternoon🤞🏼
    Lots of love, M🕊♥️
    #ed #anorexia #edfamily #anorexiafighter #anorexiafood #againstanorexia #recovery #recoveryjourney #edfighter #lifewtihed #lifesftered #fuckanorexia #eatingdisorder #survive #food #foodblogger #anorexiaandfood #foodcraving #cravings #lifestyle
  •  23  1  17 April, 2019
  • Good Morning Guyz🌤
Breakfast was 2 sandwiches with cottage cheese, a bowl of soy yoghurt with strawberries and a half banana and a latte macchiato✨
I'm not feeling well at all rn.⚡️
Not cause of the food, I ran late at school and my teacher screamed at me in front of the whole class💤 And my tummy hurts⚡️
(TW) I feel nauseated. And my mood is pretty much down. Probably because it's raining. Rain often causes my depressive feelings, makes them stronger💤 But it could also be cause of the fact that my parenting counselor will visit us today for the first time. Honestly I'm really bad at meeting and trusting new people. I'm afraid what his ideas gonna look like and  if he also thinks (like my parents) a clinic would be a great way to handle my problems⚡️ Anyways I'll post a update how it went later🤞🏼🌩 I promised maman to weigh myself on friday and I'm pretty much nervous bout that, too. Stepping on a scale is still a huge problem for me🌩 But I know it's part of the journey and if I ever want to be healthy again I have to face my fears💪🏼 Don't really think I'm gonna stay at school, so it's pretty much possible you'll get spammed by me soon✨🤞🏼
Wish you all a blessed morning✨
Lots of love, M🕊♥️
#ed #anorexia #edfamily #anorexiafighter #anorexiafood #againstanorexia #recovery #recoveryjourney #edfighter #lifewtihed #lifesftered #fuckanorexia #eatingdisorder #survive #food #foodblogger #anorexiaandfood #foodcraving #cravings #lifestyle
  • Good Morning Guyz🌤
    Breakfast was 2 sandwiches with cottage cheese, a bowl of soy yoghurt with strawberries and a half banana and a latte macchiato✨
    I'm not feeling well at all rn.⚡️
    Not cause of the food, I ran late at school and my teacher screamed at me in front of the whole class💤 And my tummy hurts⚡️
    (TW) I feel nauseated. And my mood is pretty much down. Probably because it's raining. Rain often causes my depressive feelings, makes them stronger💤 But it could also be cause of the fact that my parenting counselor will visit us today for the first time. Honestly I'm really bad at meeting and trusting new people. I'm afraid what his ideas gonna look like and if he also thinks (like my parents) a clinic would be a great way to handle my problems⚡️ Anyways I'll post a update how it went later🤞🏼🌩 I promised maman to weigh myself on friday and I'm pretty much nervous bout that, too. Stepping on a scale is still a huge problem for me🌩 But I know it's part of the journey and if I ever want to be healthy again I have to face my fears💪🏼 Don't really think I'm gonna stay at school, so it's pretty much possible you'll get spammed by me soon✨🤞🏼
    Wish you all a blessed morning✨
    Lots of love, M🕊♥️
    #ed #anorexia #edfamily #anorexiafighter #anorexiafood #againstanorexia #recovery #recoveryjourney #edfighter #lifewtihed #lifesftered #fuckanorexia #eatingdisorder #survive #food #foodblogger #anorexiaandfood #foodcraving #cravings #lifestyle
  •  16  1  17 April, 2019
  • ~ mental breakdowns ~
It's okay to have them sometimes.
But it's also important to help yourself during those situations.
Mental breakdowns can be really different. Sometimes you just wanna stay in bed all day, sometimes you just gonna cry, restrict things and yes, sometimes you gonna harm yourself. But first of all, a mental breakdown is a worse feeling. It comes after bad situations or the feeling you lost something. But also happy situations can cause a mental breakdown. So it's really important to know how to deal with them.
You won't always have somebody around you who helps you. So you'll need to help yourself. There's barely a medicine helping you. You'll need to find something which will help you "survive".
There is no equal treatment helping everyone.
My treatment/ skill is going outside or taking a nap. But I know that this doesn't work for everyone..⚡️
What are your skills?
#supporteachother 
Lots of love, M🕊♥️
#ed #anorexia #edfamily #anorexiafighter #anorexiafood #againstanorexia #recovery #recoveryjourney #edfighter #lifewtihed #lifesftered #fuckanorexia #eatingdisorder #survive #food #foodblogger #anorexiaandfood #foodcraving #cravings #lifestyle
  • ~ mental breakdowns ~
    It's okay to have them sometimes.
    But it's also important to help yourself during those situations.
    Mental breakdowns can be really different. Sometimes you just wanna stay in bed all day, sometimes you just gonna cry, restrict things and yes, sometimes you gonna harm yourself. But first of all, a mental breakdown is a worse feeling. It comes after bad situations or the feeling you lost something. But also happy situations can cause a mental breakdown. So it's really important to know how to deal with them.
    You won't always have somebody around you who helps you. So you'll need to help yourself. There's barely a medicine helping you. You'll need to find something which will help you "survive".
    There is no equal treatment helping everyone.
    My treatment/ skill is going outside or taking a nap. But I know that this doesn't work for everyone..⚡️
    What are your skills?
    #supporteachother
    Lots of love, M🕊♥️
    #ed #anorexia #edfamily #anorexiafighter #anorexiafood #againstanorexia #recovery #recoveryjourney #edfighter #lifewtihed #lifesftered #fuckanorexia #eatingdisorder #survive #food #foodblogger #anorexiaandfood #foodcraving #cravings #lifestyle
  •  19  1  16 April, 2019
  • Good Morning Guyz🌤
I'm in a hurry atm because school starts at 8 am and I have to get ready🌩 I'm probably gonna run late again💤 
Breakfast was a bowl of soy yoghurt and cream cheese with a half banana, a bread with curd, a half pancake with cottage cheese and a latte macchiato🌩 School snack is gonna be a bread wirh cream cheese, butter cookies and a coke zero🕊 
I had as usual breakfast with my maman and it was quite nice🤞🏼We didn't argue at all this morning, that's probably the reason why I'm quite peacefull and in a good mood right now🕊 But I'm quite a bit  nervous, too. I'm gonna write my english test in 3 1/2 hours.🌩 But I know I'm ready to write it💪🏼 I CAN DO THIS! Feeling majorly blessed cause it's my last test for this half term🕊 Aaand holiday season starts in 3 days🌤 I'm going on a trip to the Netherlands with my fam💪🏼 I'm so done with school atm💤 But I'll look forward on studying a bit during holiday cause I wanna keep up with school🌩 But atm I'm just looking forward surviving trough my day🤞🏼 #challengeaccepted 
Wish you all a great day🕊
Lots of love, M🕊♥️
#ed #anorexia #edfamily #anorexiafighter #anorexiafood #againstanorexia #recovery #recoveryjourney #edfighter #lifewtihed #lifesftered #fuckanorexia #eatingdisorder #survive #food #foodblogger #anorexiaandfood #foodcraving #cravings
  • Good Morning Guyz🌤
    I'm in a hurry atm because school starts at 8 am and I have to get ready🌩 I'm probably gonna run late again💤
    Breakfast was a bowl of soy yoghurt and cream cheese with a half banana, a bread with curd, a half pancake with cottage cheese and a latte macchiato🌩 School snack is gonna be a bread wirh cream cheese, butter cookies and a coke zero🕊
    I had as usual breakfast with my maman and it was quite nice🤞🏼We didn't argue at all this morning, that's probably the reason why I'm quite peacefull and in a good mood right now🕊 But I'm quite a bit nervous, too. I'm gonna write my english test in 3 1/2 hours.🌩 But I know I'm ready to write it💪🏼 I CAN DO THIS! Feeling majorly blessed cause it's my last test for this half term🕊 Aaand holiday season starts in 3 days🌤 I'm going on a trip to the Netherlands with my fam💪🏼 I'm so done with school atm💤 But I'll look forward on studying a bit during holiday cause I wanna keep up with school🌩 But atm I'm just looking forward surviving trough my day🤞🏼 #challengeaccepted
    Wish you all a great day🕊
    Lots of love, M🕊♥️
    #ed #anorexia #edfamily #anorexiafighter #anorexiafood #againstanorexia #recovery #recoveryjourney #edfighter #lifewtihed #lifesftered #fuckanorexia #eatingdisorder #survive #food #foodblogger #anorexiaandfood #foodcraving #cravings
  •  19  0  16 April, 2019
  • Good evening guyz🌩
Dinner was a huge salad bowl with mushrooms, tomaton and an apple cider- soy yoghurt dressing, a bread with curd and a bowl of vanilla soy yoghurt🕊
My maman was out with a friend, so my dad and me had dinner together. He had fish with bread and pickled cucumbers and it was acutally really nice. 
The realtionship between my dad and me is really complicated at the moment. I know he got a lot of problems as well, but he's just really rude towards maman and me.⛈ Yesterday I cried a lot during lunch cause of the huge size of potatoes I should eat and he got really mad at me and started calling me "Anroexa". He's been doing this alot in the past weeks and I hate it🌪 I'm really mad because he doesn't fight against his problems but screams at me when I'm struggeling🌨 Well today went pretty good so I hope somethings bout to change🤞🏼 Hope I won't feel to guilty and be able to sleep good and be ready for my english test tomorrow🌩
Lots of love and a good night, M♥️🕊
#ed #anorexia #edfamily #anorexiafighter #anorexiafood #againstanorexia #recovery #recoveryjourney #edfighter #lifewtihed #lifesftered #fuckanorexia #eatingdisorder #survive #food #foodblogger #anorexiaandfood #foodcraving #cravings
  • Good evening guyz🌩
    Dinner was a huge salad bowl with mushrooms, tomaton and an apple cider- soy yoghurt dressing, a bread with curd and a bowl of vanilla soy yoghurt🕊
    My maman was out with a friend, so my dad and me had dinner together. He had fish with bread and pickled cucumbers and it was acutally really nice.
    The realtionship between my dad and me is really complicated at the moment. I know he got a lot of problems as well, but he's just really rude towards maman and me.⛈ Yesterday I cried a lot during lunch cause of the huge size of potatoes I should eat and he got really mad at me and started calling me "Anroexa". He's been doing this alot in the past weeks and I hate it🌪 I'm really mad because he doesn't fight against his problems but screams at me when I'm struggeling🌨 Well today went pretty good so I hope somethings bout to change🤞🏼 Hope I won't feel to guilty and be able to sleep good and be ready for my english test tomorrow🌩
    Lots of love and a good night, M♥️🕊
    #ed #anorexia #edfamily #anorexiafighter #anorexiafood #againstanorexia #recovery #recoveryjourney #edfighter #lifewtihed #lifesftered #fuckanorexia #eatingdisorder #survive #food #foodblogger #anorexiaandfood #foodcraving #cravings
  •  20  0  15 April, 2019